[tdogg]

Welcome to Soulforce!

Coming out can be really difficult, especially for those of us raised in a religious home where we are taught that being gay is a horrible thing. You are brave! It took me 44 years to finally accept myself and come out to people. Most of my friends and family were (1) DUH! and (2) loved me just the same. Some are no longer in my life, and some I'm working on still.

It was a HUGE relief to come out, to anyone even. But when I told my Aunt, who is very religious, I was scared. But I thought she would love me the same as before. It didn't quite work out that way. We still talk on a rare occasion, but our relationship isn't like it was. When I came out to my stepmom, I was SO scared. My hands were sweating, I was shaking and my voice could barely be heard. I took a deep breath and let it out. She cracked a lame joke, we chuckled and it's been downhill from there. That was several years ago and she still cannot stand to hear anything about my relationship. There are other stories too, not quite as bad. I've even lost a couple friends over it.

I tell you that because, even going through that and experiencing a bit of negativity and loss, coming out STILL was the best thing I ever did. For me. It was for me, not really for anyone else. A huge relief off my shoulders. It felt so much better! I'm out at work, I attend welcoming and affirming churches when I feel like going, I'm somewhat active in the struggle for equality, and I feel free to be in a most incredible relationship.

It took me a while to figure out that God really loves me for who I am, not who everyone else thought I should be. Whoever or whatever God is, I am loved just as I am. There are plenty of verses in the Bible that will affirm God's love for you. Cling to those, don't listen to the negative. The stories are wound to instill doubt and fear into you, driven by the terror of hell to persuade you to hide the true YOU and be who the others think you should be. Don't succumb. Be yourself, accept yourself, love yourself. You will find that those who truly love you, like your friend who loves you JUST AS YOU ARE will be there, still loving you. the others, while it may hurt a bit, will show you that being a fake person isn't worth their conditional love. You deserve more. You are a beautiful, smart, brave person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, or that you deserve less or that God doesn't love you. Don't you let them!