I guess the best advice I an give is to not accpet her texts, and messages via chat or emails. I get the sneeking suspision that she is keeping you on a string, and pulling it to see you jump for her. She is having so much fun with the control aspect of it. Proving to herslef "see, I still have her and can control her". The outcome is pleasure for her and more and more heartbreak for you. It will be painful, but you need to cut ALL connections with her, as do your daughters. Change your email, cell phone and passwords. Change your facebook and block her from being your friend(unfriend her). Do not look on her site. At frist this will be almost unbearable, but you need to have her and her communications away from you, because with her still contacting you and your girls, she is finding a way to conrol your life and not allowing you to heal and get over her.
You need some peace and quiet right now, away from her and her games so you can think and put your thoughts in order. You do not need any communication with her. Sure, your home is in both of your names, but contact the landlord and tell him what is going on, see if you can get out of the lease. Or, get the utilities that she has cancled put in your name only. That way, she has no control over what utilities you have. Make sure that your credit cards and accounts are seperate. Cancal those that are not. Put your accounts at another bank, get another phone number and keep it unlisted. Do not open any letters from her, do not respond to any attempts by her to contact you.
My divorce was about as nasty as one can get. I was stalked, threatened, my children were threatened, my girlfriend was stalked and threatened, my children were used and placed in the middle, my credit cards and banks had to all be contacted, items were taken and at times returned destroyed. I spent pretty much everything I had and had to borrow alot to make it through, to feed my children and pay bills, he emptied our joint bank accounts leaving me with checks bouncing and not enough to pay anything. I lived at the court.
I made it, and you will also. Get some good therapy under your belt and treat yourself kindly. Lean on your friends that is what they are there for. Pray, and use the support that is out there. There is an end to this. (((HUGS)))
Don't be afraid, it's only love!