Originally Posted by Daniel
Victor- your question was to Scotty, but I thought I would answer.
I have been with my husband for 15 years. However, it was not the first 'big' relationship for either of us.
No one can know what another person's relationship is like, or what it means to be in one until one lives through it. Best I can say is that a long term relationship takes a lot of work and good communications skills. And these are things one learns as one goes along.
There are no perfect relationships. Nor are they perfect lovers. That's my own perspective. Partners can look pretty wonderful when one is in the first blush of love. And then, once the first bloom is off the rose, that is when the real love starts.
Some gay men have monogamous relationships, while others do not. I hesitate myself to give moral judgments to them for the simple reason that no two couples are alike. And waiting to have a 'big' relationship- that is -get married- is- in our day and age- rather impractical. I am not advising you to go out and have a roll in the hay. What I am saying is this: loading all your expectations and desires onto a would-be partner creates a great deal of stress. This is something to consider.
Good relationship take skill. And one only gets this skill by practice. It's like learning a language. You don't master it overnight.
Oh, I see.
It makes sense! Thanks =) I really hope to have a longterm relationship someday, but I won't be I stressed about it yet.