I have had monogamous (monoandrous) experience, and hook-ups and pretty much the gamut of relationship experience. 46 years is a long time to be this dead sexy!!!
For me, I found that I fall in love easily. I am in love with 5 other beautiful people. We are not monogamous. Two of my lovers live with me and the other three live in different parts of the country. It is called polyamory, meaning in love with multiple people. Polyamory is not for everyone. I am the only openly polyamorous person on this forum.
Loving one person is complicated enough! Try juggling five relationship!!
But love is real. You will know it when it happens....and it is different each time. And someone will love you back and adore you for the shining boy you are! And your heart will be broken. But don't fear..... hearts were meant to be loved and were meant to be broken. It's living!