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Originally Posted by Legendary
Well my lover (who is also a guy) and I used to be so sexually active with one another. But now I'm trying to lead us into a more healthier and pure life by waiting for the right moment so we can get to connect with one another on other levels besides the sexual kind.
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Just curious. What does 'healthier', 'pure' and 'waiting for the right moment' mean?
If you are thinking that getting married will have a magical effect on your connection your partner, I have news for you: it won't. If, however, you mean that you'd like to more than a sexual connection with your man, then yes, that's very good to have. It means doing things, going places that you are mutually interested in. But this isn't a matter of waiting for the right moment. But takes, rather, initiative, planning, and real interest in one another. It means having 'heart' with one another as well as being friends. A strong and healthy connection with one's lover is- to my way of thinking- is in three parts: head, heart and groin- working together.
Your use of the words 'pure' and 'healthy' worry me. I wonder if you use them because of unexamined internalized homophobia. That is, you don't like how you feel when you want to connect with your boyfriend.
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Originally Posted by Legendary
You are right I am having a hard time accepting myself as hard as I have tried for 3 years so far, but I was in no way seeking to harm anyone by seemingly labeling them as something evil. The the research that I'm doing is fueled by my desire to learn more about the world. The foundation of all society's in based on gender roles,sexuality, and some sort of religion or belief system, so I want to observe, study, research, destroy and rebuild this foundation (metaphorically speaking) and try to understand why humans believe and think the way that we do.
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I hear what you are saying, but what I also hear is what you really want is to understand yourself, your feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is a life-long endeavor. It's inner rather than outer. That said, if you are looking for evidence of gay people in world history, there is a lot more scholarship in this area than there was when I was in my 20's. And pretty much everything is accessible via google.
My own observation is that people do what they do because of the desire desire for love, safety and sustenance. We all want the same things. How we go about obtaining these things? That's where things can get messy- or not.
You know, the Golden Rule is pretty cross-cultural. Nothing complicated about that.