[RedJ]

My name is Julie. I'm a 25 year old Seventh day Adventist preacher’s daughter. Growing up I was not even allowed to say "gay" because it was considered a curse word. I loved the Ellen DeGeneres show...until I was no longer allowed to watch "that homosexual". I always knew that I liked girls and was caught playing doctor or just cuddling in bed with my girlfriends. I think my parents knew too because I was not allowed to spend the night with friends. My dad's church the women wore dresses, no makeup, jewelry, and adult dating was chaperoned. This is a history of my conservative background.

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, minus the two times I left her to try and make myself straight. We are together and strong now and I'm in the process of coming out to my family. I told one older brother who couldn't be more supportive and a friend outed me to my oldest brother who is still letting me see his 4 kids which was my biggest concern. We still have not said the words, but I'm told he knows. My mother makes me think she knows, but I'm not sure if that's paranoia.

Anyway, I was thinking about coming out to my parents at Christmas since all my family members live in different states and I would like my brothers to be there. Is this a bad idea? I don't want to put a damper on the holiday. I was thinking I would wait until the end so there would be some fun family time before I'm disowned. But, I though perhaps I should do it sooner so they could have time to ask questions and deal with it. Does anyone have thoughts?? I was very reassured by I post I read on this site about coming out being a good idea and few people regretting it. I want to put together some articles and books to give to them...Any recommendations? My Dad has endless knowledge on the Bible and is mostly accepting of everyone. He did make a comment about changing his sermon topic for a friend’s wedding when he found out her lesbian aunts would be there. He tries to be funny so I'm having a hard time gauging his reaction. He is one who is always cool until he's not...then you need to run very fast!! I guess I just need some advice on coming out and how to do it. I feel 5 years old again I have a BS in psychology and 5 years in the field. I've helped girls come out and I can't answer one question for myself. Any help would be wonderful!