[scott snedeker]

Sky lights a sprig of sage and smudges the room. He lights several candles. I watch him arrange glass bowls in patterns.

"now close your eyes and focus your awareness on your breath. When you breathe in imagine the light of love, peace harmony and kindness. when you breathe out imagine you negative thoughts, your pain and suffering being taken by mother Earth and transformed into love and life energy.'

A rinigng slowly builds from the glass bowl being stroked by Sky's fingers. Soon other bowls start riniging in a harmonious chord filling the room with angelic music reverberating back and forth. I feel the vibrations in my chest and up and down my spine.

"I'm not going to hurt you" Sky whispers as I feel his hands lightly touch either side of my head. some minutes later I feel another set of hands on my shoulders. The bowls are still ringing, reverberating in harmonious chords.

how can this be?

"SHH quiet your mind my friend" and the he blows across me. I feel a surge of pure love from him. All I can picure now is his smiling face with his beard and dreadlocks glowing as I drift into weightless bliss.

In my mind I stand in front of him my hands in his, the two of us floating suspended. The harmonious chords of the crystal bowls are perpetually singing vibrantly keeping us afloat in the sea of solaris.

I begin to weep softly. Weeping for myself, for the others whom have shared suffering with me, for the beauty of this young man's heart.


I feel a third set of hands over my heart. In my mind I see a cloudy smog form between us. My stomach twists. my chest feels constricted and heavy and I see in the smog a reflection of my miserabl appearance. I try to wave it away. I can see glimpses of light and warmth. I reach through and feel Sky's figertips, but he is too far away for his hand to grasp mine.

But the more our fingers touch the clearer the smog becomes. I can make out his face through the misty reflection of mine. The heaviness and constriction in my chest lightens partially.

I feel a fourth set of hands press lightly on my stomach. Here i feel a strong sense of hunger and wanting for what is missing. I feel the guilt of having to survive at the cost of other beings.

I feel a fifith set of hands over lower abdomen . Slowly I feel become aware of nausea that travels up my chest and exits with and exhale that has the unmistakable odor of alcohol.

I feel a sixth pair of hands over my groin. I feel sexual arousal confined and blocked.

Sky blows across me again and I see myself as an adolescent come into my sexual awareness shamed by attraction to other boys. I see a shining young blonde boy smiling at me.

"You are beautiful and you make me wanna hold you." The boy says.
I feel the shame evaporate and my chest expand with sensual wonder.

I hear a chime.

"Open your eyes." I hear Sky say. I look around. The candle are casting a warm glow around the room. I feel lighter and at peace like I have not felt since I was young child.

"Thank you, Sky."