It is important that you understand there is a persona within you that is desperate. Seek professional help. This will not go away. This persona is injured from the past abusive operant conditioning.
She will act irrationally desperate and completely obscure conscious reason. She is in love with your "wife" because your wife is comparably desperate and "worthless," thereby removing the sense of personal inadequacy created by homophobia.
These two personae violently provoke and reinforce on another creating darkly-gratifying seductive hellfire.
In short you are addicted to drama-trauma
You are only "Done" with your "wife" right now because you are filled with anger blocking out this inner persona. Anger fades and the draw will try to pull you in once again!
Admit it, face it and get professional help. Find someone who has worked her way out of this very common trap.
Start with reading:
Women Who Love Too much
Put down this equivalent of "The Crack Pipe" another words Run from HER!
Or you will find yourself completely isolated because you will have worn out everyone seeing you mutilate yourself emotionally once again
Love and affirmation,
Forrester Tongpa Nyi (formerly Ash Phoenix, faeries evolve! )
When you come to know that your entitlement to joy is a given, All that remains is the exploration of the many different ways to let it in