What you describe, when you seem to think that "this was love", sounds to me like an addiction. There's a ~huge~ difference between the addictive feelings that are akin to "infatuation" and what ~Love~ really is.
Maybe you could go to an AA meeting, and just listen for a bit, and when they describe "Alcohol" ~think~ about "her", and how they'll say the same things, about what They thought They were in love with...
In order to Truly Love someone, and be with them in a long term relationship, you need to be Whole and Complete, in and of yourself. The wishy washy romantic drama's where one person tells the other "I'd be lost without you" and "You complete me" are not descriptive of Love, they're descriptive of Need, as if someone ~else~ has what ~they~ need, in order to simply exist, when you can Never Lose what you Truly Love.
The ~hard~ part, sometimes, is ~realizing~ that you ~already are~ whole and complete, in and of yourself... because at ~some~ point in your life, you swallowed a lie that said you weren't. A Lie that said you ~needed~...
When you can start to see that, then you can start to feel how ~Needing~ someone and ~wanting~ someone, in your life, are almost exact opposites.
You can't Love something that you Need, because something you Need ~controls~ you, and takes away your fee will... When you start traveling down ~that~ road, the only thing you'll find, is pain.
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