Will I ever get over her?
I don't know what to think anymore. I loved this woman for the better part of half my life so far. I don't know if I loved who I wanted her to be, and the stark reality is that she is a narcissistic control freak with avoidance issues, and too demanding and self centered. When I get to missing her I ask myself do I miss all that? Do I miss constantly being made to feel second to everything else she wanted? Do I miss being lied to? Do I miss being told "I will never leave you" and then leaving me 5 times for dumbass reasons? Do I miss her really? Or do I miss what I wanted?
I wanted a love that lasted forever. I know that is a little pie in the sky but I wanted it nonetheless. I thought she meant what she said. I thought she loved me. She said she did, many times, but I guess it wasn't enough. I never could please her. I never could do enough to make her want to stay. But should I have to?
Will I ever get over her? Since she probably was an illusion in my head, I hope that I do. I want to love someone, and I want to be loved. I don't want to be controlled, manipulated, lied to, left, thrown away and discarded. Is that too much to ask?
If everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, we'd see the day when nobody died. IF EVERYONE CARED/Nickelback