[Victoria]

Originally Posted by pnggrad79

I just can't believe all the lies she told me! I found a card she gave me not long after we "reconciled" that said she appreciated the efforts I was making and to hold on tight and we would have a great life together. She said she loved and adored me. How could she write those things and not mean them? How could she promise me over and over again she wouldn't leave me, and she did? Why?

I have a deep and abiding faith in God, that I can't give you... but I can give you a perspective on how to look at such things, if you're willing to open your mind a little to the idea.

All the Love in the world comes from God. All the fear and hurt comes from within ourselves... These things she wrote, all the love and truth you saw in them, come from God, and/or the part of her who she might have been, if the world wasn't so frigged up.

All the other stuff, the stuff that hurt, came from with ~her~, from ~her~ own hurt, and, without knowing any other way to express it, she expressed it "on you".

Now it's on ~you~ to take responsibility for what she put on you. It's not you fault, but it is your problem, and you have everything you need to find a solution to it.

She said she loved and adored me. How could she write those things and not mean them?

Regardless of this girls personal issues, God would say that to you, and mean it, if you could hear Him... So... seems to me that's one of the ways He was trying to tell you, knowing the hurt that was coming to you, to remind you, that even though this girl you're hurting for didn't, ~He did, and still does~.

I can say that with certainty because I ~also~ love you, and hurt for you, and with you, because I, too, know how you feel, even if I don't know the exact circumstances, nor have the same details, I know how much, how deeply, and how seemingly lost one can be, trapped in that tiny box, like an Iron Maiden, so that no matter how one tries to move, or escape, or just get a little ~break~ from the pain... there's another spike stabbing into ones heart, mind, and sometimes it feels... into our very ~being~...

but you know there's hope, because you can see some of us, ~outside~ that box, ~past~ the times when we hurt, as you do now... just try to think outside that box, a little at a time, knowing it doesn't last forever.

Love and ~hugz~,

~V~