Finding Our Bliss

[Vanessa White]

I am feeling that, as necessary as the discussions are that are going on in this main forum, that I am feeling disheartened at the inability for there to be any consistent, mutual understanding. So, since I tend to be the eternal optimist, I would like to dedicate this thread to contributions from all of us here at Soulforce, that describe or tell the story of our bliss, or joyful moments, at being LGBTQ persons. Sure, there are many stories of angst and pain and sadness and despair, and I am so grateful for those that share those stories. BUt, it's time to hear the joy as well. The inner workings of our hearts that tell us that what we feel is so right and true.

Shall I begin?

When I first started dating my partner, we had already known each other through the gay community for about ten years, but never really got to know one another. I had broken up with my previous partner of eight years about nine months before, and had sustained a long and painful dating period. I was feeling completely discouraged and depressed, at the thought of not finding the person that was right for me. THen, my partner and I started talking on the phone, and the conversations lasted for hours. It seemed as if we had known each other our whole lives, and our souls had been separated for a period of time, only to reunite. I heard one of our love songs today, "Thank You", originally done by Led Zeppelin, and redone at least on one occasion by Torie Amos. We are still together, are raising an eight year old daughter, and just celebrated our ten year anniversary. SHe is my joy, my bliss. I have never, ever, felt for another person in my life the intense love I feel for her. I picture us as old women rocking in chairs next to one another in thirty years, and caring for each other always. Our hearts and souls are entwined, til death do us part.

Please, all, lets put our love stories and joys and bliss out there for others to read, and maybe understand. PEACE ALL, Vanessa

[NathanATX]

Seeing lives changed as a result of me being obedient to the voice of the Spirit...

Living and working in a beautiful and accepting city. It is wonderful, absolutely beautiful to be able to walk down a busy street among families, bikers, teenagers, etc, with my arm draped over my boyfriend's shoulders... with no fear... just enjoying him, the people, the beautiful day that God has made...

Little moments of hope... when someone who may have been hateful or homophobic in the past has a loving & kind word to say...

My boyfriend... finding a man with such a deep love for God and his family... he is beautiful, funny, brilliant, sensitive and so supportive... I'm going to love telling our grandchildren that we didn't meet online or at a bar, but at Perkins School of Theology...

Those moments when I make a mistake or start feeling discouraged and I become present to God's sweet & precious love for me...

[Jamie McDaniel]

A fabulous idea, Vanessa!

I was very closeted before I came out at 25. I didn't personally know a single openly gay person. When I finally did come out I suddenly discovered all these wonderful GLBT people and the families that accepted them and the churches that welcomed them. I was shocked! How could I not have known? How could so many people not have known?

How to describe it? For me the feeling was like having already seen the ending to The Six Sense and being stuck in a theater with everyone who had never seen the movie. It's like you're just waiting for them to realize the "secret" that's been in front of them all along.

Ok, now for a little love story. In my lap is a purple keepsake box. It's for Chris and I to put stuff in that's meaningful to our relationship. We haven't been boyfriends quite a year yet, so it's only got a couple of items in it. (Alot of things we've given each other would not go in a keepsake box. I got him an electric toothbrush for Valentines. We're kind'a practical I guess. )

Anyways, one of the things inside the box is two slips of paper from fortune cookies. Our first date was at a chinese restaurant called The Gay Dragon. I mean The Happy Dragon. And so we're on our first date and having a good time and he opens up his fortune cookie. He reads it, smiles, and says, "Yeah, this kind'a applies to today." So he slides it over to me and I read the little piece of paper. It says, "God not only will listen to your prayers, but also will make them come true."

My first thought: Geez, this guy's really laying it on heavy here.

So I then precede to open my cookie. And after fishing the piece of paper out, here is what I read: "There's a secret romance blooming! Go for it, in spite of your hesitation."

I kid you not. The message was "go for it." And if that wasn't enough, it added "in spite of your hesitation."

So here we are almost a year later! Check my profile for a picture.

[awediot]

This is an excelent and needed thread. I have some great moments with elusive Love that springs on you from nowhere. My feelings of joy that I can attribute to gaity are grander than those, today anyway. Makes me wonder what I'd be like, where I'd be, straight...

One of the gifts of being gay is an incredible senseitivity and sympathy. Maturity and spirituality combine with this and we are born advisors. We think more, feel more, have been through more and know more than the average straighty. Hee he he... You know its True. Thats why the cool people like us.. So, CHEERS, Queers. We are more than Okay... Fight the good fight and see the good you do on the way to the goal. You have already helped people you don't even know. So enjoy that. Thank God for that... And know you are Blessed.

[Daniel]

What a great- and to quote Jamie- fabulous idea.

The title of this thread brings to mind the words of Joseph Campbell who counselled his students to "follow your bliss!"

As a kid, around the age of 8 in 1966, I found myself 'in love' with a tall blond man on TV. Aquaman. He appeared on Saturday mornings around 8 AM. I would steal into the living room and sit nose to screen with the sound turned way down so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I hardly understood what attracted me to him, but only knew I had to be near him. That time in the morning, when everyone was in bed and I was alone with him, was bliss.

Or course, I grew up and forgot all about him.

Jump to 1992. After two failed relationships- each a training wheel on the road of life- I see a guy at my gym who makes me think of Aquaman for the first time in 26 years and know that this is what I've been waiting my whole life for.

We've been together 14 years now.

[keltic63]

my bliss: a day like this past saturday when my partner and I get in the car and head out to spend the day together. this time we went to a "maple" festival about an hour away, stopped at 2 wineries, checked out some antique/collectibles shops, and had dinner in a church basement, mmmm roast beef.

more bliss: when I'm with my kids and I realize just how much they have on the ball. I was alone with my youngest son one eveing last week. we pulled into the parking lot at a shopping strip and I saw my bf's car. I suggested we go in the store where he was, and my youngest said "you can see him later, you're dating him!" I asked him what he meant and he said "he lives with you, so you're dating him."

even more: I also have 2 teenagers. watching them achieve adult goals is bringing me so much joy. My daughter, the oldest, just got accepted to college, and passed her music audition for the music dept. my 17yo son recently participated in a talent competition playing his guitar and singing. he was great.

[closetcougar]

Driving up a canyon in the Fall and seeing the brilliant colors of the leaves, and being egocentric enough to belive that God created that scene just for me and my partner as an affirmation of his love for us.

Feeling lost, and someone helping me find myself. I remember when my partner and I met our first gay couple. We followed them around like little puppy dogs, wanting to emulate their every move and the way they expressed their love so shamelessly and confidently.

Meeting someone who feels lost... and helping them find themselves...whatever that may mean to them.

Going to my first HRC dinner in Utah, where they played "we are family" with everyone ,dancing cheering, and hugging. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks because I truly felt like family.

Experiencing pain and rejection so that I can enjoy the triumphs even more.

Just when you think you have nothing left and feel incredibly cynical (I wonder if this thread was started as a result of my self-loathing on another thread ), finding a forum and thread like this.

[freeasme120]

Originally Posted by keltic63

My daughter, the oldest, just got accepted to college, and passed her music audition for the music dept. my 17yo son recently participated in a talent competition playing his guitar and singing. he was great.

Congratulations to you and your children!

I am a graduating college senior with a major in music .. I wish all the best for your daughter as she enters the college world! Remember that faith and love go a long way -- being a music major is stressful and demanding .. but worth all the hard work in the end. What instrument does she play?

Congratulations to all!

Thanks for sharing your story!