I Did It!!!!!

[pnggrad79]

Well my cousin, Debbie, invited me and my wife to her youngest son's wedding. She said that if anyone had a problem with two lesbians at the wedding, they could come talk to her. I had no idea who all would be there, but nevertheless my wife and I both went. It was the first Baptist church we had been since coming out 3 years ago. Most every member of my family minus a few, were there. I calmly walked up to my aunts and uncles, and introduced my wife as such. I smiled as their expressions went from a friendly smile to a sudden drop in the jaw. They just stared as I went from person to person, introducing my wife. My cousin invited me to sit behind her and her husband, and we did. My mother showed up some time later, with my sister. I went up to my mom and she just stared at me in shock, almost like,"You dare to show up in a church with your lesbian lover?" She said hi to me and that was about it. They sat two rows behind us and as soon as man and wife were declared and left the sanctuary, my mother and sister slipped out without saying goodbye and left.

At the reception, my cousin said, "I don't care what your mother does or says, I love you and both of you are welcome in my home anytime." She invited us in advance for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

As we left for the night, my cousin whispered in my ear, "I really like her (meaning my wife)" and I said, "If my mom and dad gave her half a chance they would like her, too, but to them she is the sneaky lesbian who seduced their daughter and led her into a life of sin." My cousin laughed.

[keltic63]

you go gurrrrllll!

[BruceChris]

In the best of all possible worlds, you and your wife could hold your head high, you could do your best to not judge, and indicate that you are open to re-establishing good relations with all who may not have accepted the two of you the last time around. This may take a lot thought and effort.

Your cousin sounds like a remarkable person.

In the Course in Miracles, it says that the holiest place on earth is the place where former enemies have become friends. Png, I wish you only the best.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[pnggrad79]

Thanks guys! Except for my mom and sister ducking out before I had the chance to say goodbye to them, it was a good experience and my cousin was so gracious and wonderful. I just finished emailing her and thanking her again for her warm hospitality and acceptance.

Keep her in your prayers-she has a lot of health issues( lupus, diabetes, fibromyalgia, thyroid and pituitary tumors). It has been a long time since I have seen her, and I will be sad to lose her again. I have many fond memories of her when we were kids. But when I moved off 20 years ago, she did too and we lost touch. I think the last time I saw her was when our grandmother died back in 2001.

She exemplifies how a straight family member ought to behave with a gay family member-grace, acceptance, love, and understanding. There is hope for the rest of my family. It will just take time. Why is it that my extended family more readily accepts me than my own sisters and brother?

[Daniel]

Steve is right!

You go girl!

Wow!

Kudo's to your cousin! The part I love?

She said that if anyone had a problem with two lesbians at the wedding, they could come talk to her.

Doesn't get any better than that. I am so glad she has your back- and takes your love for your beloved for what it is: Love.

Oh baby. You put a smile on my face this morning.

Originally Posted by pnngrad

Why is it that my extended family more readily accepts me than my own sisters and brother?

Interesting question I've asked myself for the simple reason that I've had the same experience. My cousins have been wonderful as far as hubby and I are concerned.

One thing may play a factor. In my case, my cousins aren't religious consiervatives. Are yours? Another may be the stuff your cousin has gone through. To put it bluntly: suffering can identify with suffering. And it sounds like your cousin has had her share of it- God Bless Her!

[Zerbie]

Yayy!! Brava, Png! You did it, your wife did it, your cousin did it - you all acted with dignity and mutual respect and let the chips fall where they would.
Hopefully your mother and sister will learn in time. Maybe your cousin's example will sink in eventually.

It sounds like ya'll had a fun time at the wedding, other than for your mom's reaction. I'm happy for ya.

[kara speltz]

Just wanted to add my congratulations. What a wonderful, transforming moment this must have been. And even if your mom left right after the ceremony, your cousin's witness will leave an indelible impression that hopefully will begin her own transformation. Kara