Help Find Bryce Faulkner!

[Daniel]

He may have been forced by his family into an Ex-Gay ministry.

http://www.towleroad.com/2009/07/act...y-therapy.html

Activist Starts Website for Gay Man Who Vanished into 'Ex-Gay' Therapy

Friends of an Arkansas man have started a campaign and website to find 23-year-old Bryce Faulkner after they say he was sent unwillingly to an "ex-gay" therapy ministry:

Bryce "Faulkner, 23, was preparing to come out to deeply religious family in Arkansas when his mother discovered his emails to his boyfriend, Travis who lives in Wisconsin. Bryce was given an ultimatum of being kicked out of his family and put out on the street or going into ex-gay therapy. Before Bryce disappeared his boyfriend Travis recieved one last phone call on June 15th and was crying uncontrollably saying, ‘You should have heard the mean and hateful things they said about me. They made me read out loud passages from the Bible’. 'One of the last things he said to me before falling asleep was, ‘Promise me you will be strong for me and for us’.' Travis said. Travis believes Bryce may be at an Exodus International ministry in Florida. He said a friend of the family had heard Faulkner would be in Mississippi for three weeks and then in Florida for 14 months. His friends have created a ‘Save Bryce’ web campaign to find out where the student is."

This story has more than a few similarities to the 2005 story of a teen named Zach who sent out a cry for help on his MySpace page before being sent away to a "Love in Action" "ex-gay" reparative therapy camp.

[Matt Algren]

My impression has been that they misunderstood the schedule. Peterson Toscano said at bilerico that if Bryce went to an LIA program, it's probably the 14-week one that would have started a new cycle in mid-June in Nashville. (I think...)

Still, it's a rough situation that is far too common.

[Rick336]

This guy is 23 years old. He's an adult. I guess I'm curious as to why he doesn't just leave the ex-gay bullshit and go live with his boyfriend in Wisconsin until he can get a job. I mean, If my family started screaming Bible nonsense at me when I was 23 and demanding that I get therapy, I would have simply moved out and gotten my own place.

My message to him is...LEAVE!! Just give them the finger and walk out. Nobody is forcing you to be there.

Get some balls bud. If you want people to respect you, you've got to respect yourself.


Rick

[keltic63]

Originally Posted by Rick336

This guy is 23 years old. He's an adult. I guess I'm curious as to why he doesn't just leave the ex-gay bullshit and go live with his boyfriend in Wisconsin until he can get a job. I mean, If my family started screaming Bible nonsense at me when I was 23 and demanding that I get therapy, I would have simply moved out and gotten my own place.

My message to him is...LEAVE!! Just give them the finger and walk out. Nobody is forcing you to be there.

Get some balls bud. If you want people to respect you, you've got to respect yourself.


Rick

i think that this is easy for us to see from this side of coming out. I recall how hard it was for me to do anything, take any action that might actually help myself when I was in the closet.

I agree with you Rick, he is an adult, he has the power to walk away from this. I'm also willing to think that he is in an emotional state right now that prevents him from seeing his ability to do that. Families can create some unbelievable emotional blackmail.

[Matt Algren]

Especially when his parents are paying for most if not all of his living expenses. Doing what Rick suggests would completely derail his life and leave a gaping hole. I agree that he should do that, but I understand why he wouldn't consider that possibility.

[scott snedeker]

Originally Posted by Rick336

This guy is 23 years old. He's an adult. I guess I'm curious as to why he doesn't just leave the ex-gay bullshit and go live with his boyfriend in Wisconsin until he can get a job. I mean, If my family started screaming Bible nonsense at me when I was 23 and demanding that I get therapy, I would have simply moved out and gotten my own place.

My message to him is...LEAVE!! Just give them the finger and walk out. Nobody is forcing you to be there.

Get some balls bud. If you want people to respect you, you've got to respect yourself.


Rick

Growing up in the 70's Part of my later teen years a general understanding that went along with graduation, applying to college, and college scholarships and working for spending money was also that when I turned 18 I was expected to start living on my own. This was not cruel or unloving. It was the same expectation as any in growing up.

"Keep putting money away, you will need it to get started once you turn 18" was a common reminder my mother gave me.

Now to be fair, I had a full grant/scholarship to attend college and my folks helped quite a bit, but I provided fro 90% of my needs after 18. I also was more than ready to get out of my father's oppressive homophobic household atmosphere.

Aside from that, my parents prepared me to be able to function as an adult. AS a young teenager I was taught how to manage a checking account , pump gas, turn on breakers, buy food, etc. None of these things taught to me were nearly as cruel as writing term papers for English

My point is I feel that the common mistake parents today make is not teaching their children to be able to function without them. Part of the parental investment is thinking about the skills your child will need to thrive.

[Poetic Awakening]

Originally Posted by scott snedeker

My point is I feel that the common mistake parents today make is not teaching their children to be able to function without them. Part of the parental investment is thinking about the skills your child will need to thrive.

I agree very much with this. I was constantly finding things after I moved out that I wished my parents had taught me to do myself. But instead, my Mom did everything and my Dad just sort of stayed uninvolved. I'd even ask them, and nothing really changed.

So yes, parents should be more teachers than just those nagging adults who think you act like you think you know everything.