Light

[Venari]

“There are two kinds of light—the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures." —James Thurber

Yes, I used deception of my identity to protect my self. Yet it’s funny that there has been such a drive to find out the identity of someone at a school that is claimed to expel students for being gay. Needless to say the attempt to force them to reveal information that would disclose their identity beyond a shadow of a doubt. This also seems hypocritical from an organization trying to “help” students attending Anti-GLBT schools.

That said, now I and a couple other students have now been “outted” by someone who has been reading the posts here. I, and other students, were called in for a meeting to discuss what was said / discussed here. As a result I have been suspended from summer classes and pending further investigation for possible dismissal.

Yes, the parts of my life that may have needed illumination at some point. But no one has the right to force anyone to reveal any aspect of their life, as Jamie attempted with me.

I feel was shown the deepest disrespect from people here, Jamie by name, in not seeing the position I was being forced into. Any further personal disclosure here would, and has jeopardized my “real life.” As time progressed here I had revealed pieces of my identity as I saw fit, not as others saw fit.

Now, I am going to wake up Monday and think how I should be in class but thanks to the actions of a Soulforce staff member I am not allowed to attend my class.

I stand by all statements I have made, past and current. Since I refuse to give into Jamie’s demands for further disclosure, that I am unwilling to provide, it will be best if you, Jamie, restrict my account so there can never be any questions about my involvement in this community.

Finally; Zerbie, awediot, Dash, Dew_Drop, Keltic63, Schoolboy, and a few others. Thank your for your support, while we have had heated arguments and rarely see eye to eye you always showed me the respect of the place I was in and what I had on the line attempting to be involved here.

Maybe next time a closeted and confused student approaches Soulforce they will be shown a measure of respect and grace for what they are placing on the line.

As before if you e-mal me I will be more then happy to talk with some of you.

kardiatheon@gmail.com

-Venari

[Daniel]

One, One One from Light Upon Light, Inspirations from RUMI by Andrew Harvey

The Lamps are different.
But the Light is the same.
So many garish lamps in the dying brain's lamp-shop,
Forget about them.
Concentrate on essence, concentrate on Light.
In lucid bliss, calmly smoking off its own holy fire,
The Light streams towards you from all things,
All people, all possible permutation of good, evil, thought, passion.
The lamps are different,
But the Light is the same.
One matter, one energy, one Light, one Light-mind,
Endlessly emanating all things.
One turning and burning diamond,
One, One, One.
Ground youself, strip yourself down,
To blind loving silence.
Stay there, until you see
You are gazing at the Light
With its own ageless eyes.

[NonLemming]

Originally Posted by Venari

“There are two kinds of light—the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures." —James Thurber

Yes, I used deception of my identity to protect my self. Yet it’s funny that there has been such a drive to find out the identity of someone at a school that is claimed to expel students for being gay. Needless to say the attempt to force them to reveal information that would disclose their identity beyond a shadow of a doubt. This also seems hypocritical from an organization trying to “help” students attending Anti-GLBT schools.

That said, now I and a couple other students have now been “outted” by someone who has been reading the posts here. I, and other students, were called in for a meeting to discuss what was said / discussed here. As a result I have been suspended from summer classes and pending further investigation for possible dismissal.

Yes, the parts of my life that may have needed illumination at some point. But no one has the right to force anyone to reveal any aspect of their life, as Jamie attempted with me.

I feel was shown the deepest disrespect from people here, Jamie by name, in not seeing the position I was being forced into. Any further personal disclosure here would, and has jeopardized my “real life.” As time progressed here I had revealed pieces of my identity as I saw fit, not as others saw fit.

Now, I am going to wake up Monday and think how I should be in class but thanks to the actions of a Soulforce staff member I am not allowed to attend my class.

I stand by all statements I have made, past and current. Since I refuse to give into Jamie’s demands for further disclosure, that I am unwilling to provide, it will be best if you, Jamie, restrict my account so there can never be any questions about my involvement in this community.

Finally; Zerbie, awediot, Dash, Dew_Drop, Keltic63, Schoolboy, and a few others. Thank your for your support, while we have had heated arguments and rarely see eye to eye you always showed me the respect of the place I was in and what I had on the line attempting to be involved here.

Maybe next time a closeted and confused student approaches Soulforce they will be shown a measure of respect and grace for what they are placing on the line.

As before if you e-mal me I will be more then happy to talk with some of you.

kardiatheon@gmail.com

-Venari

I can understand your anger at being outed, but suspect that your anger might be misdirected. It seems to me that an awful lot of subversive energy went into finding evidence against you. Think Salem witch hunt.

This could be a blessing in disguise. Have you considered a learning institution that does not discriminate this way? Why give your current one any more money? That only feeds the problem. Part of life is learning to pick your own battles, and this institution seems to be unworthy of your time, your cash or your mind. Move on (I know it will be hard, but will be worth the effort) and get yourself someplace healthy for you to get on with your life.

I wish you well.

(also sent privately)

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by NonLemming

It seems to me that an awful lot of subversive energy went into finding evidence against you. Think Salem witch hunt.)

Imagine a dance between two men. The music starts. One does all the moving. The other stays stock still. It seems that whatever move is made is by the older of the two is the wrong one. Nothing satisfies the younger man. What does the immobile man want? He can't, or won't say. In time, the dancing man is made to feel he can't dance, nothing he does is right. Eventually he stops.



This writer sincerely wishs Venari well, as he is sure many who have visited this forum do. However, after having contact with Venari both privately and publicly, his writer must counter the assertion there was any 'witch hunt'.

On the contrary, this writer, before events unfolded as they did, had already communicated to Venari that he could not engage in further dialogue via pm's (he had just gotten back from vacation) for the simple reason that professional committments left him with little time and energy to spare. There was another, more personal reason: Venari, who initiated contact with this writer via pm's and then private email by sending personal information, did not seem willing to engage in conversations that were mutual and forthright. This writer, with no suggestion or help from anyone, came to question Venari's motives for contacting him and saw his involvement with Venari as unwise.

A few days after breaking contact, events were brought to a head by an ERider who intuited, correctly as has been noted, that Venari was in fact his former boyfriend, the same person who harrassed him and caused him to be expelled from NCU. This writer was alarmed that his unease was confirmed by a third party and left to conclude that Venari's motives, explanations and relating of events- as yet unsubstantiated- should be questioned before taken at face value.

[Venari]

Originally Posted by Daniel

This writer sincerely wishs Venari well, as he is sure many who have visited this forum do. However, after having contact with Venari both privately and publicly, his writer must counter the assertion there was any 'witch hunt'.

On the contrary, this writer, before events unfolded as they did, had already communicated to Venari that he could not engage in further dialogue via pm's (he had just gotten back from vacation) for the simple reason that professional committments left him with little time and energy to spare. There was another, more personal reason: Venari, who initiated contact with this writer via pm's and then private email by sending personal information, did not seem willing to engage in conversations that were mutual and forthright. This writer, with no suggestion or help from anyone, came to question Venari's motives for contacting him and saw his involvement with Venari as unwise.

A few days after breaking contact, events were brought to a head by an ERider who intuited, correctly as has been noted, that Venari was in fact his former boyfriend, the same person who harrassed him and caused him to be expelled from NCU. This writer was alarmed that his unease was confirmed by a third party and left to conclude that Venari's motives, explanations and relating of events- as yet unsubstantiated- should be questioned before taken at face value.

Since my account has not been shut off yet, I need to comment. Please contact me with any questions and not resort to the petty-ness shown by Daniel and attempting to mudsling behind my back.

Daniel,

There are commonly two sides to every story maybe you should get all the "facts" before making accusations reguarding events you know NOTHING about. Also you act all "mature" you need to grow up and act like the adult you claim you are ... enough said.

-Venari

[Mia14]

All this frustration over what? He said this, he said that, what does it benefit anyone to argue over what was said? What we have are two people who are both very passionate and, yes, both a bit sensitive. I have my own opinions, too, on what has been happening, but what does it do to discuss who's been wronged more greatly? All this arguing on the boards isn't helping anybody and nothing is changing.

I respect both of you and value your opinions in this forum, but enough is enough. Please, can we move on?

[Venari]

Originally Posted by Mia14

All this frustration over what? He said this, he said that, what does it benefit anyone to argue over what was said? What we have are two people who are both very passionate and, yes, both a bit sensitive. I have my own opinions, too, on what has been happening, but what does it do to discuss who's been wronged more greatly? All this arguing on the boards isn't helping anybody and nothing is changing.

I respect both of you and value your opinions in this forum, but enough is enough. Please, can we move on?

Thank you Mia well said.

I am leaving due to the issues listed and as an example here and the causing of un-necessary drama.

-Venari

PS
Jamie when ever you get around to it you can shut down my account.