I am Nathan.

[NCWhit]

Hello Everyone!
I'm so glad I found this website. I'm a 34 year-old gay male and I have basically said "F*** You!" to Christianity and everything involved with it because of the stance I thought the Church has on homosexuality. I was so angry that I was condemned just because I am who I am. I knew at an early age that I was gay and came to grips with it pretty easily. I never doubted my sexuality, I never felt less of a person, I never felt angry that I was gay. But what I was angry at was the fact that I was being demonized because I love a man and not a woman. I felt, "Who are you to put the patent on love? Am I really that bad of a person because I LOVE A MAN? You mean to tell me that I am worse then a murderer? A pedophile? (There is a difference, it pisses me off whenever people clump us all together.) A rapist? Or just a downright thug."

That's when I extended my arm and lifted my middle finger towards heaven and proclaimed loudly, "F*** YOU Then!! If I'm going to hell because I love a man, then so be it. For I would rather burn in hell then to lie to myself!" I figured if I was made in God's image, then why would he put limitations on me from the get go? It made no sense, so I never delved into the teachings, into scripture, or any of it. I stood there with my middle finger in Jesus's face. You know what he did?

He stood there, nodding his head and saying to me in a quiet voice, "But Nathan I do have something to teach you. Nathan?" I was like, "Bah, you have nothing to teach me, how can you teach me anything when you condemn me and cast me aside." So that's what he did for 34 years, he stood there faithfully waiting and nodding his head and smiling. That's what I think anyway.

But here's where everything changed, my Mum (who is extremely supportive of me.) gave me her Jeep. Inside the Jeep was this little booklet entitled, "Bitterness; Weeding out the Poisonous Root." Basically it talks about resolving bitterness against yourself, against others and against God. It was this little booklet that didn't say anything regarding sexuality, mind you. That opened my eyes toward the bitterness I held in my heart againt God and Jesus Christ. Then my eyes fell upon a verse that I so love;

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with all forms of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."

My Mum gave me a study bible and I've only perused through it. Then I decided to do my own research into this and that's when I found this website. In closing I just wanted to share that so far what I have personally discovered, is that it's not God or Jesus who condemns me. Its MANKIND, its the pulpit pounders, its the bible thumpers, its those that scream fire and damnation.

So you wanna know what?

I'm officially extending my arm, raising my middle finger and saying, "F*** You! To all those MEN and WOMEN, who condemn me and cast me aside. I know within my heart that God and Jesus loves me for me and that's all I need to know. I sure as heck don't need approval from ANY human being!

Love y'all bunches!! XOXOXO

Nathan C. Whitman

[HELENz]

Welcome to SoulForce. Newbie, myself... I think you'll like it on here. These peoples are nice peoples.

I'm straight, but I've been an ally for GLBT for years. The church's stance on homosexuality (and what I thought was God's stance) was part of what made me leave Christianity and become Agnostic for a while. I didn't understand why a loving God would condemn the loving relationships I saw amongst GLBT, and I didn't want anything to do with a God that would do that, so I guess in a way I can understand where you come from...

[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Nathan,

Welcome to the forums. I appreciate what you have to say. If we are condemned, it is people who condemn us; it is not God. I think God is very patient with us. He loves us despite our shortcomings and values us even if the church does not.

That verse you quoted from Ephesians is a favorite of mine. What a directive that is, to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us. Since Christ forgives us unconditionally and without limit so should we do for others... not an easy job!

I am fortunate that I have found am affirming, loving place within Christianity. I always feel for those who have not had that blessing in their lives.

Please make your voice heard and share more of your thoughts with us.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[Gennee]

Hi Nathan and welcome to the site. You make some very valid points. God created us (I'm transgender) as we are so I don't pay any mind to those who condemn us. Jesus doesn't condemn us.

Be thankful for a supportive mom. You are blessed to have someone who loves and supports you. Ephesians 4:31, 32 is a great verse.


Gennee

[bnmoore]

Originally Posted by NCWhit

Hello Everyone!

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with all forms of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other."

Love y'all bunches!! XOXOXO

Nathan C. Whitman

Welcome to Soulforce.

My feeling is that we also need not to let our mouths write checks that our actions can't cash.

The Golden Rule still applies. Returning hate for hate makes no progress.

I know that a lot of us have been through much the same thing and are still experiencing it.

Sometimes you might want to bless someone upside the head with a two by four but that just ain't right.

Maybe our job is to show them how to do it right.

[NCWhit]

I just wanted to give a shout-out to all that given well-wishes!! Thank YOU!!

I know I need to work on my bitterness, for so long it was held against the Church. I guess I got even more incensed because all this time I've allowed other people tell me what Christianity and the bible is all about, I should've done my own research. But, that really is water under the bridge isn't it? Who cares, all that matters is the here and now.

I've got to learn to just give my anger to the Lord, so he can open my heart to more love. Its easier said then done, I know. Returning hate for hate doesn't do any good. Just perpetuates the circle of anger and violence even further.

Well with the teachings of Ephesians 4:31-32 and y'all's strength and words of hope and my own burgeoning one I can overcome this bitterness against those who condemn me and my brothers and sisters.

I just wish we all could eat at the Table of the Lord, without bias, without prejudice. Unfortunately, it's man's own ignorance that won't allow this to happen until he/she opens their eyes and hearts to the true message of the bible.

[Rayn]

Originally Posted by NCWhit

I just wanted to give a shout-out to all that given well-wishes!! Thank YOU!!

I know I need to work on my bitterness, for so long it was held against the Church. I guess I got even more incensed because all this time I've allowed other people tell me what Christianity and the bible is all about, I should've done my own research. But, that really is water under the bridge isn't it? Who cares, all that matters is the here and now.

I've got to learn to just give my anger to the Lord, so he can open my heart to more love. Its easier said then done, I know. Returning hate for hate doesn't do any good. Just perpetuates the circle of anger and violence even further.

Well with the teachings of Ephesians 4:31-32 and y'all's strength and words of hope and my own burgeoning one I can overcome this bitterness against those who condemn me and my brothers and sisters.

I just wish we all could eat at the Table of the Lord, without bias, without prejudice. Unfortunately, it's man's own ignorance that won't allow this to happen until he/she opens their eyes and hearts to the true message of the bible.

I love your post because of the expression of anger. I'm still dealing with the anger part myself A LOT. However, I am able to put a cap on it and do what I have to do everyday without expressing it in a negative way. However, I feel that we GLBT have a RIGHT to be angry when it comes to this oppression. Anger over the mental pain, agony, and damage done to us spiritually. Don't get me wrong though, I still love my faith, but we all can relate to just not agreeing with their stances towards us. I am sometimes OK and sometimes very angry, just like everyone else in the world.