My name is Eric.

[E.B.G.]

My name is Eric Benjamin Gordon. I'm a Jew-turned-Chrsitian from Upstate NY. I've known I'm homosexual since I was a month shy of eighteen. At first, it was just another part of me that was different (in addition to being legally blind, a hippie and a classic rock musician). I still had a lot to learn about just how fearful and prejudiced some people can be. That was near the end of 1997. Within a year-and-a-half, my whole world would change.

When I was nineteen, I met my first "boyfriend." He taught me a lot about life and love, but it wasn't a real relationship. We were platonic and exclusive. Then at age twenty-two, I became a Christian. Our gay friends warned me about modern right wingers who accuse homosexuality of being a sin. At the time, I was between college semesters; when I went back to school, what happened? I joined a fellowship and fell right in with them. Between that and the lack of real intimacy, I went in the closet as of October 2002 and started denying myself (to myself).

It took over three years, two band break-ups, witnessing two family divorces, several failed courses and the end of my own psudo-relationship before I could come to grips with being a gay Christian. When I left for Indianapolis on a three-year stay, I decided to embrace both my spiritual side and my sexual orientation. I've pondered making contributions to Soulforce as a bid to try and bring confidence to questioning homosexuals (or those in denial) and to add my voice to the push against homophobia. Homophobics are what I call "psychologically blind" and suffer from what I call "brick wall sndrome." Any opportunity to chip away at the wall is one worth seizing.

Eric.

[Gennee]

Welcome to the forum, Eric. You've traveled an interesting road. I'm very happy that you have acknowledged that you are a gay Christian. I believe that your life will get better.

Gennee

[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Eric,

I am glad that you have joined our group here at Soulforce. There should be no conflict between spirituality and homosexuality, and there should be no reason one has to choose between the two.

In my case, once I realized that being gay was part of God's plan for me, I have found really no conflict between being Christian and gay. Nor have I felt any hostility from people around me.

I hope you have great joy in your journey in life.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[Daniel]

Welcome to the Soulforce Forum.

Great to hear that you have been able to embrace both your spirituality and sexual orientation, which can be a hard road for many, especially those who grew up on the conservative side of the tracks.

Your description of 'brick wall syndrome' is right on target. And chipping away at the thinking that builds the wall is what this Forum is all about.

Peace,

Daniel

[E.B.G.]

Thank you to Gennee Pablo and Daniel. I'm so glad you're all here to welcome me. I hope in the future, I can partake of whatever this forum has to offer.

Eric.

[antiochian]

Hi, Eric. I have felt that same confusion and self-denial. I felt that to "save my soul," I need to "overcome" my sexual orientation. Didn't work too well! When people imprison themselves in a moral/spiritual mausoleum, the consequences can be awful.

Your fellow chipper-awayer-at-the-wall,
Jeffery