Friends and other relationships

[Vanessa White]

Hi All: I got thinking about something today and am wondering where some of you are at with it. I have been reading the thread this afternoon regarding Kara resigning from Soulforce due to the Right To Serve campaign and her feelings about it. Sad news, truly. I feel compelled by something she said over there in reference to the discussions about the issue going on. And I quote: "Our friends are the ones who have the courage to stand up and call us to something better." Absolutely a beautiful sentiment. So, what I am wondering about is this: How many of you here have noticed that your view of and your actions in your personal relationships or friendships have changed, whether with people that were already in your life or who you have met recently, since you became active here on the Soulforce forums? (I know, wordy question!) For me, I have been through so many major transitions in my life in the last few months. Ending a relationship, moving out, sharing custody..... and I have had unconditional love and support here at the forums. BUt, I have experienced a change of heart in a way with my friends in 3D. I seem more able since my involvement here, to be more patient and understanding about my friends and their struggles. SO, if they don't call for awhile, instead of rejecting them because they must be mad at me, I try to reach out with love and understanding about what they are going through that I haven't heard from them. I have always considered myself to be very loving toward others, but interactions here have helped me to continue to believe in the goodness of all, and that sometimes, what a person mainly needs is someone to love and believe in them NO MATTER WHAT. I feel like I am being called to something better by all of my friends here.

Any one else had changes they would like to share? Love to you all! Vanessa

[kara speltz]

Originally Posted by Vanessa White

How many of you here have noticed that your view of and your actions in your personal relationships or friendships have changed, whether with people that were already in your life or who you have met recently, since you became active here on the Soulforce forums? (I know, wordy question!)
Any one else had changes they would like to share? Love to you all! Vanessa

A book that was recommended to me by two of my Soulforce family has been really instrumental (along with Soulforce) in changing things in my life. The book is called, "The Four Agreements." It's only a $10 - $15 book, but when I keep the four agreements (and when I'm struggling I do try to see where I might have forgotten one or more of them) I find I'm much more able to accept others. Briefly the 4 agreements are:

1) Always speak with integrity (both to others and to yourself - no bad mouthing yourself)
2) Don't take anything personally (sheesh, it all used to be personal
3) Don't make assumptions (I made up whole stories about why someone did something I disliked)
4) Aways do your best.

The book even comes with a flap you can cut off and post on your refrigerator!!!!

Kara

[Zerbie]

Oh yes, Vanessa, most certainly yes!!!!!

The caring voices on this forum bring out the better parts of me, and I notice all the time how I attempt in 3D to speak from the same patient, gentle place that our friends here so often exemplify. This forum is helping me practice being who I was meant to be in the first place.

I think of you (forumites) regularly when I'm offline, and reference you in conversation (my forum buddy Vanessa, my forum buddies Daniel and Dash, etc) just as often as the people I know 3D. Y'all are impacting my life just as much as if you were off-line friends, and I am much happier with my "real life" persona now that you are all helping me find my voice, online.

This forum is blessed.

[Mia14]

I've noticed that I've become much more accepting of myself as a happily gay woman. I've also learned that I love activism and nonviolence. I, too, have tried to see things from other people's views since reading the steps of nonviolence (I admit, I'm far from perfecting this yet).

I know my priorities in life have definitely changed since I've been in the Soulforce forums.

Zerbie - I, too, reference my forum friends in 3D!