Second pastor in Colorado resigns after admitting relations with men

[Jamie McDaniel]

The founding pastor of the 2,100-member Grace Chapel has resigned after he said he had sexual relations with other men.

www.thedenverchannel.com/news/10507023/detail.html

www.denverpost.com/news/ci_4817067

[Zerbie]

That poor, poor man! 49 years struggling against his own heart!!!!!!!



His poor family!! I hope he and they feel loved and supported right now.

Could SF do a letter campaign on this one, too?

[andrewlittle]

Ah, the lingering, lifelong effects of "shame" as a cultural tool. It's just so darn sad.

[keltic63]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

Ah, the lingering, lifelong effects of "shame" as a cultural tool. It's just so darn sad.

Yes, it's sad, but did you read the newspaper account from Jamie's link? I see some hope there, I really do. There's something different there that could actually play out better for the guy than for Haggard.

[Dash]

Yeah...just saw this via Good As You.

The part of the story that just about made my peace-mongering head explode:

Church elder Russ Pilcher said the reaction at services Sunday was largely concern for the couple. "I thought, 'Where did I fall short in making myself so unapproachable that he couldn't come to me?"' Pilcher said.

Seriously???????? Come on!!! Someone in the Evangelical fundamentalist community can't figure out why someone who struggles with secret gay feelings doesn't come and talk to them about it??

Could it be because the Evangelical Community alternately supports, tolerates, and proclaims the scary anti-gay views that drive gay people into the closet in the first place?? Hmmmmmmmm???

[dewdrop_world]

In the "return of the repressed" department:

http://www.gracechapel.org/missional...s/menshome.htm

---

There are a few of the predictable anti-gay remarks in the comments on this Washington Post blog entry, and also some eloquent replies.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/offbe...sex_redux.html

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I wish peace and healing to Pastor Barnes.

James

[Daniel]

The Denver Post article is very telling. For one thing, it shows how internalized homophobia kept the cat in the bag for so long. He couldn't reveal himself to any of his three therapists. Hello! Something's up there. The weight of one's beliefs do matter, and from what Barnes says in the article, he is just starting the process- perhaps unwillingly- of dealing with matters of scripture etc.

Like Zerbie- I think A FS effort in reaching out to him is a great idea.

[Daniel]

....and another disturbing thing. I can't find Rev. Barnes anywhere on the web. No pic. No bio. No nothing. Make me think this is what shame does: it erases you.

Addendum: before Grace Chapel erased Rev. Barnes off its site, a blogger had the foresite to access one of Barnes own sermons.

http://coloradoconfidential.com/show...F?diaryId=1147

In another sermon, delivered immediately after Haggard, the former pastor of New Life Church, admitted to buying meth and getting a massage from a male prostitute, Barnes spoke emotionally about the situation. And he made it clear that he feels that being gay is a Class A sin — right up there with robbery, thievery, alcoholism, divorce and greed.

"Next to being a child molester, homosexuality is next on the list for many Christians," Barnes said, implying that is, indeed, misfortunate. "Why can we so forgiving about someone who says, ‘Hi, I’m Bob, I’m an alcoholic,’ to say nothing about the robber or the thief. Why do we gloss over adultery?"

According to Scripture, anyone who divorces commits adultery, Barnes noted. And on average, half of the church’s congregation has been divorced, with many remarried.

Many of those divorces were not because of adulterous relationships, but because of irreconcilable differences.

"What causes more damage to society, the two to three percent who are gay, or the 50 percent who are married and divorced and remarried — and the poor kids are experiencing the ramifications of all the garbage?" he asked.

Barnes also talked at length in that early November sermon about peoples’ tendencies to wear "masks" to hide their true identities.

"The fact is we are all broken people, and we struggle to be people of integrity — to be the same on the inside as we are on the outside," he said. "Most of us struggle. Most of us, if the truth be known, wear masks… [to] hide our brokenness; we want to be accepted."

There are few details as to Barnes’ indiscretions. According to the Post, account, the pastor, who is married, admitted to the accusations after the church received an anonymous phone call last week from someone who said they overheard the rumor.

One wonders what has happened, and is happening, to the man. I hope he is able to find his way out from under the cloak of shame he wears so heavily.