Prayer Requests

[RevVW]

I've been out of town since Monday. Just logged on, I too, will be praying for your Grandmother.

BenL, the two of you will be in my prayers also. Vern

[RevVW]

Hey Zerbie,

I can just see that red hair! I love it. Thanks for the prayers. Vern

[RevVW]

Lydia,

How is the job search coming? I'm still praying about that for you. Remember, only the best! Vern

[Lydia]

Still plodding on.

I've attended a few job fairs and am still sending out resumes and cover letters. I am getting some good responses, most of them are just located too far away from the subway for me to do it. Toronto is a pretty safe place to live, but like every large city there are some neighborhoods in which I as a woman would not be comfortable walking through alone after dark.

And it's all complicated by my husband's health - he's been depressed lately.

But I plod on.

[Zerbie]

Oh no! It's really hard when a partner is depressed, it can affect you too. Keep taking good care of yourself like you're doing, and know you have a ton of support. We're cheering you on with the job search. Go Lydia!!

[andrewlittle]

As many of you may know, my wife is a UMC minister. She is, in fact, a “probationary elder”, which means that she is in the three year (minimum) period of commissioning before full ordination. Her Board on Ministry has approved he for ordination in June, after the minimum three years.

She has been positioned in 3 churches in 3 years. The first was not actually a church – it was a parish of 5 churches served by one minister – a parish in which the two smallest “family” churches rode rough shod over the silent majority in the others, and in which the former minister, who was enabler, retired and moved across the street. My wife’s conference wanted her skills present there (like me, she’s a gender-bender, and she’s very gifted in “masculine” traits) and she accomplished what they desired. She was also vilified by some of the authorities who do not want to see change, but would rather have change happen (???) while doing the same, comfortable things.

Her next was a sick church – counting among its body count, three ministers who have left ministry as a result of their stints there – one by eventual suicide. They wanted to know what was really going on. She found out and exposed it. In the process she was vilified yet again, and threatened multiple times. The bulk of the bishop’s cabinet supported her throughout, and voiced their intention to withdraw participation in the union church (2 denominations in one). After her job was done, they moved her again.

We have been in a new home since November. Between the time of the move and now, the leadership of the bishop’s cabinet has been revamped, with all the change agents replaced with those who think the best way to deal with problem churches is to appease them. My wife is no appeaser and, as such, she was recently visited by her District Superintendent and told that the small number of parishioners who are resisting any change have stated they don’t want my wife as the minister. Never mind the overwhelming majority that do, this small group has the money and power.

So Jenna has been told that, unless she ceases fighting for change and just “keeps everyone happy”, she will be replaced and will not be reappointed or ordained. She is being blackmailed into keeping the status quo. It has come up in conversations with some of the local church leaders, that this same D.S. met with the church council privately and told them he suspects my wife's sexuality, accused her of abandoning her children (which are now with their father under court-decreed shared parenting rules),and of abusing the other two churches she was in. She has been, in my mind, been set up because she does not represent the “vision” of the conference that now seems to worship money and peace over honesty and change – the very change she was requested to make.

My wife is heart-broken on one hand, and resolute on the other that she will not acquiesce to a sick system. She is also very concerned because, until I find a job in an area where church and other jobs are in short supply, she is the “bread-winner.” She is conflicted. She is also conflicted about staying in a system in which another female minister she knew, who was also gifted with “masculine” traits committed suicide as a result of innuendos spread by her new D.S. and picked up by her church. Another woman minister, who is also a straight GLBT advocate, is currently also being vilified by some in her church and threatened by her D.S. The pressure is on in Iowa.

We need prayers. I support my wife in whatever decision she makes – actually that may not be true – if she stays and accedes to this abuse, I will be sorely disappointed. I am encouraging her to leave, as she is encouraging me to broaden my search for a job. The larger questions are almost overwhelming. To where would we go? If I got a job, what would she do? What are the prospects for us? We are both disillusioned with the church as it is, and both very passionate about changing that. But how? And where? And how do we survive in the meantime?

Please pray for both of us, and for my wife in particular, as we wrestle with visions of being in ministry, and the idealism that we share. Together, at the moment, we just seem to hold each other and weep. That’s good for now, but we needs God’s direction to be made clear.

Thanks for reading this, BTW.

[kara speltz]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

The larger questions are almost overwhelming. To where would we go? If I got a job, what would she do? What are the prospects for us? We are both disillusioned with the church as it is, and both very passionate about changing that. But how? And where? And how do we survive in the meantime?

Please pray for both of us, and for my wife in particular, as we wrestle with visions of being in ministry, and the idealism that we share. Together, at the moment, we just seem to hold each other and weep. That’s good for now, but we needs God’s direction to be made clear.

Oh, Andrew, what a scary place to be in. And what an amazing couple you and Jenna are. I will put you both into my prayer circle. I highly recommend you find some of Dorothy Day's writings, perhaps her biography, "The Long Loneliness." Dorothy was the founder, along with Peter Maurin, of the Catholic Worker newspaper and movement. There's a movie out concerning her life called, "Entertaining Angels."

She had the most amazing trust in God that if what she was doing was God's work, God would always provide. And provide S/He did, on a daily basis. Stories abound of days upon days of bills coming in, and just "enough" money coming in that day. Today some 300 houses, all over the world, try to follow her way of life. Having run a Catholic Worker House, I have personally experienced days when our bills that had to be paid for that day might be $650; and sure enough that's exactly what would come in for the day. It was an amazing experience and has been the foundation of how I live my life since then.

Trust that God will get you through those scary moments. It will often get down to counting pennies, but somehow, with the grace of God, you will get through. This surely will strengthen your faith in the long run, but it's not an easy path.

Thank you for sharing this with us and know how deeply I, personally appreciate all that you share on this forum.

Kara

[Zerbie]

Oh Andrew!

What a situation!! I don't know what to say, so I'll share a personal experience.

Years ago, my mom was made administrator of a nursing home. The owners continally pressured her to do things that would protect/increase their profits by abusing the elderly residents (taking advantage of them in various ways amounting to all kinds of abuse, while lying to the families who were paying to keep their relatives there.) When my mom continually refused to give in, the owners fired her. Hmm, come to think of it, that's the one memory I have where my mom wasn't afraid of "authority" pressure, and stood up to it. Good for her.
My dad had already been laid off before that point, and unemployed over a year. When my mom got fired, I was 17, in high school, and for 6 months or so, the only one of us earning any income, from my $4.25/hour job ringing a cash register.

We got by. When my mom worried about finances, dad would say "It's only money. "

Andy, I'm betting with integrity like yours, the two of you are going to be "found" by a parish that is REALLY striving to live up to its ideals, and once there you will find yourselves very wanted and appreciated.

Meanwhile, let everyone you know know that you two are available, so that word gets out that there are two wonderful qualified people ready to be snapped up by some lucky organization.

May the very best come to you and yours.

[u-dog]

...between going on a rant about how stupid and fake the institutional church can be and being pastoral and caring about you.

Hmmm.... O screw your feelings! The church today sucks! ... oh.. sorry.

seriously:

Much of the church is dysfunctional. Much of it is SO dysfunctional that it is no longer, in fact, the church. Its just a bunch of rabid puppies at prayer. Those of us in professional ministry give our hearts, our souls, our energy to the service of God and to the people in the church and when they bite our hand like a rabid dog... it hurts. We feel betrayed and discouraged. When their "bite" crosses the line from vicious to evil (as in the case of Jenna's DS) and people start whispering hurtful lies in order to intentionally destroy us... it is truly devastating.

However, when conflict reaches this level and their is no one with the health and the authority to intervene and insist on some process of healing there is nothing to be done. Her congregational system is sick but the larger denominational system is ALSO sick and Jenna doesn't have the power to address that larger institutional sickness in any meaningful way. Jenna will either need to pretend to acquiesce until she is ordained and attains a level of power in the system that allows her to withstand the storm or she needs to escape the system somehow. Not an easy choice to make, but was it ever, really Jenna's call to serve inside a sick system that is not and probably has not been for a very long time -- the Church of Jesus Christ? I'm thinking probably not. As scary as the prospect is, she probably needs to hang on until you are employed and then bail out and seek ordination in another District or Conference or in another denomination. You probably need to search for a call nationally and to hell with Iowa.

In any case, I didn't mean to start dispensing free advice (its probably worth exactly what you paid for it) You are in my prayers you old Fart. neither you nor Jenna deserve this. Its just what happens to prophets ... always has ... always will. At least they haven't tried to throw you off the cliff yet.

[BruceChris]

They've got you by the shorthairs, until you get there, but once you get there, you've got to REALLY screw up, before they will do anything.

You probably remember the cartoon, showing a very large room, entirely filled with empty chairs? And the sign over the door said, "Adult Children of Functional Families"

P&L, BC

[RevVW]

Dear Andy,

I'm so sorry to hear of this. As you probably know, it is something I fear may happen one day in my own ministry in the UMC in AR.

All I can say is, I'm so very proud of you both, and I will be praying for you. Stay the course for what it right, and you both know what that is. Yes, we can compromise the truth as we know it, but then what do we have?

Tell Jenna I'm with her all the way, and you both are in my daily prayers.

You know, I think something is going to happen in the "established" church as we know it. Let us not faulter. I'm sorry, that sounds like preaching! But I truly believe it, it is time we were counted among those who stand for the truth.

Another thought, the realization of truth has generally come to we humans at a great price. Are we willing to pay that price?

God, I hope I am.

Sincerely, Vern

[Jan]

Hope it's not too late to add my prayer request.

Please pray for me for healing concerning my recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. There's no "quick fix" for this so I'm looking at years of therapy and dedication on my part.

Philippians 4:13

[andrewlittle]

Originally Posted by Jan

Hope it's not too late to add my prayer request.

Please pray for me for healing concerning my recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. There's no "quick fix" for this so I'm looking at years of therapy and dedication on my part.

Philippians 4:13

You are definitely in my prayers, Jan. The years will be worth it. Your life will begin opening up in front of you, and it will be a treasure.

God bless you

[NathanATX]

Originally Posted by Jan

Hope it's not too late to add my prayer request.

Please pray for me for healing concerning my recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. There's no "quick fix" for this so I'm looking at years of therapy and dedication on my part.

Philippians 4:13

Jan, I'm praying for you. Know that this difficulty doesn't mean anything about how wonderful you are or how much God loves you. You're taking the right steps... therapy and medication... and being responsible for your life. I'm very proud of you. I'm praying for your healing and your peace.

Nate

[NathanATX]

Please keep me in prayer. I'm going to be taking a TOUGH accounting test soon.

I also have several "unspoken" prayer requests.

peace,
Nate

[Daniel]

Jan- you are in my prayers and meditations. Please persist in your treatment and therapy. Sometimes all we can do is hang on to each moment as it comes. Hang in there!

Nate- I hear you loud and clear. Never liked tests much myself. Keep in mind that the brain needs 6 hours for short-term memory to make it to long term memory- from the front of the brain (short term) to the back (long term). This means that the last thing you focus on before you go to bed will in long term memory when you wake up. This is how I memorize music. I wake up with it in my head. Seriously. It works.

Andy and Jenna- Love to you both. May be wings of Angels lift you both towards all that you are here to do and be.

Ben and Charlie- praying that the meds work well.

Lydia- Toronto is such a wonderful city. An alternative treatment for depression can be found at the Listening Centre on Markham St. It's good stuff. Changed my life and career.

Did I miss anybody? Hey. You're all getting blessed!

[RevVW]

Andy, Kara, I noticed you are both online right now. I don't have much time, came home from the hospital to feed the animals, I'm going right back. Wanted to let the group know, my daughter was hospitalized this morning after collapsing at work, they did many tests, the final one being a cat skan, it revealed she has pulmonary embolisms in both lungs. My wife just called from the hospital, appears our daughter has developed an extreme headache, so they are, as I'm writing this doing a brain scan. Please pray, Vern

[andrewlittle]

We will keep her in our prayers. And you and your wife.

[tdogg]

So much in a short time! My prayers and heart are with you all.

Austin, I'm truly praying for your grandmother. You just need to get through the next few days and your faith will help you through that. She is so blessed to have a wonderful grandson (that's you!). My father had a stroke in 1992 - I can pass along some experiences and thoughts if you like. You can always PM me. Otherwise, just be there for her and be strong.

Ben & Charley - my prayers are also going up for you both. For healing, understanding (of others for you both) and dealing with all the emotions that go along with this.

Andy, my prayers are going up for you and Jenna. what a difficult situation you are both in. I totally get the internal conflict and the desire to hold out for what is right. I'm just praying for God to bless you both in any decision. This is another example of why we need actions like the ER, change is not an option, it's a dire necessity so things like this don't happen. Be there for each other, and if I can think of any ideas I will pass them on. For now, my heart goes out to you and prayers up for you.

Jan, definitely send some prayers up for you as well. It's not easy to live with a personality disorder (borderline or not). But you seem like a strong woman and knowing the need for help and initiating action to get it is so the right start. I really feel like you are going to be in such a great place in your life soon. Please continue to share with us and know that we are all here for you.

Nate, I will send a prayer up for clarity of mind and a successful test experience. Accounting is truly difficult! I remember taking hours to do my homework and on occasion crying because it was so complex! Just remember to give yourself a few moments prior to beginning the test, to clear your mind, and take some deep breaths - getting the bad air out and the good air in. Lots of good oxygen to get those brain cells on overtime! You can do it! Oh, and I'll send some for your unspoken requests as well...

Vern, prayers for you, your wife and your daughter are on their way. Please keep us posted on how your daughter is doing. Sounds so serious and scary, but so wonderful that the two of you can be there for her together.

Lydia, good luck and prayers also for you in the job hunt. Wish I had ideas for you, but living in California, I don't know where to begin to help you in Canada. Seems like you have an excellent head on your shoulders so I can't imagine some company won't scoop you up soon!!

Daniel - yes, still praying for your crickets to dispense!

Prayers going up for all of you!!! blessings!

[tdogg]

Zerbie of the red hair!

Cool! I have red hair now and then, one of my funnest was bright copper hair with blond highlights - best of both worlds. Bet you are an awesome redhead! U go girl!