Prayer Requests

[BenL]

Bill,

Praying for you two. You already know that God loves both of you so much. We can never fully understand why suffering is part of God's plan ... but God understands and values both yours and your brother's. I'm praying for peace for both of you in these difficult days.

[u-dog]

We're praying friend... for both of you!!

[Vanessa White]

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you during this time of struggle. I know and believe that God will guide both of you through this journey, and do his will. You are held in a warm embrace among all of us here. Peace and love to you, Vanessa

[Progo35]

Hi, Wmanion,

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I know that this must be heartbreaking for both of you. One thing I wanted to ask right away is if he's on the list for a kidney transplant and whether or not there is a registry where people can get tested to see if they're a match? I'm sure that many here would be willing to go and see if we matched and that there are others in your area who would be willing to do the same. I have a friend who did have a kidney transplant and it really helped her-she does not live in pain all the time now.

I will certainly be praying that God would be with your brother and would ease his pain so that he might live a fulfilling life with whatever time he has-long or short-on this earth. Has he tried any alternative medicines or therapies, such as herbal supplements and/or holistic therapies like meditation/fresh air? I wonder if these might be helpful as ways to mangage pain through a change in environment/a channelling/control of one's pain/stress.

I also have some good prayers somewhere that deal with praying for oneself or another person against sickness and pain. I will try to find them and send them to you via pm. I empathize with your brother just wanting to go home to heaven-that is the Christian hope, after all, and the place where God will be with us without any pain or sickness. We will be made whole. However, I pray that if it is God's will, he will open avenues to enable your brother to survive as a physically healthy person. And, as Jesus said of the blind man he healed in John 9, sickness and disability can be used to further God's glorty-so, remind your brother of how precious he is to God and of the inspiration he is to you. And, just simply be there to be empathetic. Please let us know if we can be of any further help or if any of us can help by getting tested as a possible match or encouraging others to do so.

Much love,
Meghan

[wmanion]

That is such a sweet post. Unfortunatley, he is not a canidate for a kidney transplant, he has been told that if he was to undergo a transplant that there would only be about a 1% chance of it working due to the degree of his spinal cord injury, due to the fact that he cannot move or exercise and the fact that ciruclation is so important to a successful transplant; it is too risky of an undertaking. And my brother said it is not worth takeing a kidney that would help someone else more in the long run, he said it would be a waste when it could give a mother, a father, or even a child a chance of a living a long life.
My bro has a wonderful heart. When the accident first happened, I prayed and prayed for a healing, and even got upset with God when he didn't deliver. However, my brother brought this back in prospective when he said, had he been healed, he would not have changed. He would have still done drugs, drank, and the next accident might have taken someone's life besides his own.
He has all ready declared that he does not want to live artifically and he has refused dialysis because he does not want to live on a machine. He has been in that chair 30 years now and he says he is tired, has had a wonderful life, and although he would never do anything to purposely end his life, he is awaiting the day that the pain will be gone for good. I cannot even relate to his pain because he feels it all in his head with sharp pains and his body will have spasms that makes him sweat. He literally has to be tied into his chair or else the muscle spasms would throw him out.
I am taking him to the doctor tomorrow, he will refuse to go into the hospital if the doctor suggests it, but he will take any medication the doctor prescribes.
Thank ALL of you so much for your prayers. I feel selfish when I ask God not to take him, so I just ask that God makes him comfortable and ease the pain.

Hugz,
Bill

[Progo35]

Bill,

I know that we will all be praying for God to ease your brother's pain. Yes, he does have a good heart. It is sad that a transplant will not work at this time, but I am sure that God has a plan "to give a future an a hope" to your brother, whereever that future is. Also, if your brother thinks that he may not live much longer, it still might be worthwhile for him to think about exploring alternative medicines or trying a change of scenery. While this may not prolong his life, such measures might be very helpful in relieving pain. Is there anything that he's really wanted to do for a long time? He should go and do it, if possible: this can really help with quality of life and closure. I would encourage you to encourage him to feel free to do this for himself.

One thing that I'm glad to hear for you is that it sounds like you and your brother have a very good relationship. That is a treasure: if your brother's time to go to Heaven comes, at least you both can say goodbye to each other in peace, knowing that you expressed love to one another.

Whatever your brother decides, it seems like he's really thought about what he wants. I will say that if he should decide that he would like to explore transplant options, he could always go to another doctor for a second opinion, as prognosis in the cases of people with spinal cord injuries are often bleak, even from the best doctors. Sometimes other consultation indicates a much more hopeful outcome. What I mean is, his decision not to do a transplant is perfectly okay if that is what he wants, but I hope he doesn't feel like it would be wrong for him to recieve a transplant: he's not obligated to give his life because of his injury, his life is just as important, and he certainly has a right to explore all options. But, it seems like your brother has been trying to make some very serious, difficult decisions and has been trying to do so altruistically. Has your brother looked into home hospice care to help with pain?

I'm sure many of us will be praying tonight before he goes to do the doctor tomorrow. And, once again, please let us know if we can do anything to help your brother in terms of providing advice, support, or assistance in anything.

I know that God has a close eye on your brother and know that he will be right there with him, esp. in the persons who love him, like you.

[keltic63]

Please pray for my kids. Today they are going on a "vacation" with their mother. The destination is the sister's house which is only about 3 hours away from here. My oldest son came to visit me yesterday and voice his concerns about the trip. The aunt has become very verbally abusive of the older 2 since I left their mother. She views them as "supporting" me and "hurting" their mother, and it seems to be because I have maintained a good relationship with my kids.
In addition, the family dynamic that plays out is the 9yo, who is wonderful by himself, becomes a brat around his siblings. he instigates, slaps, punches, calls names, etc. If the older 2 defend themselves or correct him, they are attacked by their mother and aunt.
My oldest son is not looking forward to this week. He knows that there will be nothing for him or his older sister to do. The week will focus on what the 9yo wants to do, and what the mom and aunt want to do: shopping. Any resistance to their desires, or suggestions as to doing something else, will be met with criticism. If it escalates, the aunt will somehow turn it into a popularity contest between myself and the ex.

He spent nearly 2 hours here yesterday talking about it. I feel for him, but there's really no way I can help him out of the situation. I'm hoping this is the last trip like this that he'll "have" to take.

[u-dog]

The only way you can win these kinds of battles is not to fight them. if Mom and Auntie behave badly and you behave well and fairly this will not be lost on your offspring. I know that you already know this.

As far as helping your kids get through it. Listen, commiserate, honor their anger with their mother, but never join them in it. Express your confidence in their ability to cope with whatever comes.

Sorry that they and you have to dance this dance... it is such a waste of peoples energy. I'm particularly sorry that the Auntie feels that its her place to stir up a situation that is complicated enough under the best of circumstances.

[Progo35]

Hi, Keltic,

I will certainly pray for your kids. I know that this kind of stuff is rough. If it's at all helpful, I would advise your two oldest to seek solace in each other when their aunt starts to say mean things, and also to bring something to help take their mind off it or help them think through it, like music on a portable CD player, which can be vindicating and soothing.

[keltic63]

Originally Posted by Progo35

Hi, Keltic,

I will certainly pray for your kids. I know that this kind of stuff is rough. If it's at all helpful, I would advise your two oldest to seek solace in each other when their aunt starts to say mean things, and also to bring something to help take their mind off it or help them think through it, like music on a portable CD player, which can be vindicating and soothing.

Yes, but my daughter is hoping to escape on her own by meeting up with a friend from college who lives in the area. That will leave my oldest son with no one to hang with on at least one of the days.

the music is a given. they'll both have their Ipods with them. My son also borrowed a book from me, so that should help him spend the time.

u-dog: as you suspected I did all of that. I also pointed out, reminded him, that much of this, esp from his mother, was really nothing new. I experienced a lot of these kinds of things when I was in the marriage. She's just redirecting the behaviors toward the kids. It took some time with a therapist for me to see that outside of my orientation, I was in a bad marriage! Much of what happened in the marriage, the things that went wrong, had nothing to do with my being gay. when I discovered that the marriage was lost, it made it easier for me to come out, or at least explore that part of me that I had denied for so long.

[Jennifer5]

Keltic, I will hold them in my heart.... I understand what it feels like to be in that kind of situation.

[tdogg]

Just a little prayer request - my partners father is having knee replacement surgery tomorrow. The knee replacement is no problem. But last time he was under anesthesia, he had a heart attack. The family is very scared this time. So prayers for guideance for the surgeons and anesthesiologist, health and a successful procedure for dad, and some comfort and not too difficult waiting period for the rest of us. My partner has been really stressed for the last couple of weeks. It will be a huge relief when he is out of recovery and in a room after the surgery.

Thanks and love to you all.

[d_pedr]

My prayers are with you.

Its good to know that you have that extended family, and how much support you've been able to give your partner.

Prayers go up for you all and the medical team who are performing the op.

love and hugs

[Jennifer5]

For me, my sister, and I think above all my mom... my brother is gone again, and we all hate it. He belongs here.


Pray that he and his girlfriend will either have a same flight back to NY the 21st or that they will chicken out, not get on the plane, and just come home.

[elcharrom]

I would like to request a prayer for myself, so that God can help me find the truth and guide me to the happiness I've been searching for.

[elcharrom]

Another request, for my family, we all need god's help and find ourselves with him again, we've been ignoring him long enough.

[tdogg]

Originally Posted by tdogg

Just a little prayer request - my partners father is having knee replacement surgery tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers. Surgery went great, and I think he's coming home tomorrow. Had a fever this morning but broke this evening and much better. I think the atmosphere will be much better at home and he will heal faster. He is doing great at already working the knee and moving about with a walker!

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by tdogg

Thanks for the prayers. Surgery went great, and I think he's coming home tomorrow. Had a fever this morning but broke this evening and much better. I think the atmosphere will be much better at home and he will heal faster. He is doing great at already working the knee and moving about with a walker!

I'm so glad that he's going well...

[Jennifer5]

For my brother... he and his girlfriend leave out of Portland tonight and head back to NY, just I hope that he stays safe and calm, he's terrified of flying.

[tdogg]

Originally Posted by Jennifer5

For my brother... he and his girlfriend leave out of Portland tonight and head back to NY, just I hope that he stays safe and calm, he's terrified of flying.

That's a tought one - sending up some prayers for a good trip, flight and some enjoyment on the flight for your brother (and his girlfriend). Oh, and so their next trip out won't be so long for you!!!