How could depression lead to a richer spiritual life?

[sailaway58]

I came across this article and thought it was worth passing along.
I notice there are many hear that speak of depression and this article gives an interesting perspective.

EXPLORE YOUR FAITH
How could depression lead to a richer spiritual life?

I can answer this question only after the fact, because in the midst of severe clinical depression I have never felt anything redeeming about it, spiritually or otherwise. But when I emerge back into life, several things become clear. One is that the darkness did not kill me, which makes all
darknesses more bearable—and since darkness is an inevitable part of the cycle of spiritual life (as it is in the cycle of natural life) this is valuable knowledge. Two, depression has taught me that there is something in me far deeper and stronger and truer than my ego, my emotions, my intellect, or my will. All of these faculties have failed me in depression, and if they were all I had, I do not believe I would still be here to talk about the experience. Deeper down there is a soul, or true self, or "that of God in every person" that helps explain (for me, at least) where the real power of life resides. Three, the experience of emerging from a living hell makes the rest of one's life more precious, no matter how "ordinary" it may be. To know that life is a gift, and to be grateful for that gift, are keys to a spiritual life, keys that one is handed as depression yields to new life.

Parker J. Palmer, Ph.D.
Writer,Teacher and Activist
Madison, Wisconsin

[keltic63]

I have often said that my experience with depression and eating disorders, divorce, coming out, etc. have allowed me to face my biggest fears. Very little frightens me now. I have a much deeper faith than I ever had before, and I find that I am much more compassionate than I ever thought possible. Suffering builds character.....and I've been told that I'm quite a character.

[antiochian]

I've suffered from depression for most of my life. I go through periods when it's almost unbearable, and periods when it's better, but it's always there. Speaking for myself, I think living with this disease has made me a deeper person. It is the deep and painful restlessness of depression that has made me search the world, its ideas. It has made me all the more determined to find life's purpose, to really search within myself and know myself (an onging process).

I would never wish clinical depression on anyone. There are days I feel like I'm going crazy, but I cling to the higher power, God, who gives my life meaning. I cling to those I love and who love me. Depression perhaps has made me more compassionate of the suffering of others. Depression may have also contributed to my creativity (I write poetry and other stuff, as my bio/into mentions).

I've been told everything happens for a reason. Diamonds are created under great heat and pressure, so I'm told--maybe God is trying to make a diamond out of me and everyone else through their sufferings whatever they be.

[u-dog]

I've suffered with chronic depression for over 30 years. My first episode was my freshman year in college...triggered by gay panic. I believe that my depression has been fueled and sustained by my decision to stay in the closet. Shutting down emotionally and hiding and lying and creating a false persona has led to this struggle with Depression. It has certainly eased significantly since I came out to those I love the most and don't have to hide from everyone.

So I can't say - for myself -- that God caused my depression to make me stronger or better or harder or more beautiful. To the extent that my depression is about MORE than just my brain chemicals... I did this to myself. However, having said that, I believe that God uses all of what happens to us -- to bless us, to strengthen us, to make us more open and vulnerable and accepting of others, to make us more understanding and empathetic.

Kyo asked the question the other day ( and which of us gay folk HAVEN'T asked this question -- especially when we were 17?) "Why did God make me gay?" I can also ask "Why did God make me a person with depression?" But maybe a better question is: "How does being depressed and/or gay equip me to be a force for good in the world?" "How is God using this "crucifixion" to bring about "resurrection" for me and for others?

In Bach's Easter Oratorio there is a section where the WORDS are mostly "Alleluia" But the key is minor. the key is minor and whenever he writes a slightly disonant chord (that puts you on edge) he resolves it to a MINOR key rather than the expected major key. the result of this is that the piece has a kind of fog of sadness that permeates the whole thing. AND YET. the words are "alleluia" and the piece is full of these "runs" where the notes go from lower to higher which is a technique that composers often use to lift your spirits. These notes and runs explode in the piece like fireworks. Its amazing. The result is that this piece makes you SO SAD and yet at the same time so... HOPEFUL. it makes you feel like "Yeah, life sucks and its hard but I AM GOING TO TRIUMPH ANYWAY SEE IF I DON'T!!"

My point is that not ALL of us sing our "Alleluias" in a MAJOR KEY! Some of us sing "Alleluia" in a Minor key. we give no less glory to God for that. I think thats what you have to say about Mother Theresa in light of the new book about her spiritual angst. She sang her alleluias in a minor key. God was no less glorified because she did. We Christians who battle depression probably need to speak up in her behalf. She was clearly one of us.

[BrianB]

Mother Teresa is a MAJOR reason that I became catholic. She said things very simply yet very profoundly. She led by example. To find out she had doubts just makes her more of an example to follow. She challenged us and herself to see Jesus in every poor, sick, suffering, dying, person that we meet. In other words; see Jesus in everyone because we are all dying.


Udog, when you said the phrase "life sucks" it reminded me of this song.
One thing that helped me feel better about my situation was a song from the Broadway show Avenue Q; It Sucks to Be Me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pq8PwHFhy8 One resident on Avenue Q complains that he doesn't have the right job. Another person complains that she doesn't have a date. It goes on like that until they get to the Supervisor of the building, Gary Coleman. Suddenly their lives don't seem so bad. They all agree it sucks to be him.

That little video lifted my spirits because you can always think of someone in a worse state of life. For example, I might complain about being in a wheelchair until I realize there are people that can not leave their bed.

[u-dog]

Originally Posted by BrianB

Mother Teresa is a MAJOR reason that I became catholic. She said things very simply yet very profoundly. She led by example. To find out she had doubts just makes her more of an example to follow. She challenged us and herself to see Jesus in every poor, sick, suffering, dying, person that we meet. In other words; see Jesus in everyone because we are all dying.


Udog, when you said the phrase "life sucks" it reminded me of this song.
One thing that helped me feel better about my situation was a song from the Broadway show Avenue Q; It Sucks to Be Me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pq8PwHFhy8 One resident on Avenue Q complains that he doesn't have the right job. Another person complains that she doesn't have a date. It goes on like that until they get to the Supervisor of the building, Gary Coleman. Suddenly their lives don't seem so bad. They all agree it sucks to be him.

That little video lifted my spirits because you can always think of someone in a worse state of life. For example, I might complain about being in a wheelchair until I realize there are people that can not leave their bed.

Yup! You're Butterbur alright! Sam? Ok ... I can see that too. But you DEFINATELY SEE THROUGH THE BRICK WALLS BUDDY!

[pnggrad79]

I believe the reason we suffer through various things is to build strength and character and maybe to help someone else along the way. Romans 8:28 says,
"For all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose" Not all good things, but all things. So to me, that says, that whatever life throws you, God can make something good out of it even if you have to suffer.

I have migraines and have had them most of my adult life. I had a doctor once tell me that if I quit arguing with myself and asking why, and just accept it, it would get better. So, it took years for me to accept the fact that I have migraines and now when I get one, I take my meds and go on with life, whereas I used to stay home from work, call in sick and feel sorry for myself, and let it run my life. I don't do that anymore, but I learned that lesson the hard way.

Now I know there are illnesses out there that one can't just take meds and go on with life. And I feel still that God has a purpose for it... Far be it for me to ascertain what that is. Life is full of those things we have to put up with because it is part of life. We can let it bring us down or we can stare it in the face and say, "You aren't going to beat me".

Depression is an insidious illness and I have a dear friend who has suffered with bipolar disorder for years, and it is something he has to deal with on a daily basis. He has been in and out of hospitals, on and off all kinds of meds and it will probably be that way until he dies. Depression is one of those things that people don't like to talk about, much like homosexuality, but it is time to bring this illness out in the open since so many people suffer with it, and let us help those who have it, even if it is nothing more than a prayer or some advice or some words of wisdom. We as a community need to embrace those with this illness and help them as they go along.

That is my two cents...

[Progo35]

The first thing that comes to my mind in considering my depression is that it has given me the personal insight to relate to those suffering from invisible illnesses and conditions. For instance, I understand that when a person says that they feel sad for no reason and they've tried everything to alleviate it, they aren't just saying that to get out of performing their duties.

Secondly, it has made me think about how people are valued in our society. Sometimes I think that people tend to assume that depression makes someone incapable of being rational or being a leader. Yet, I know from my own experience that that is not true. Moreover, I feel that I have a better sense of the danger that disabled people and other minorities are in. I know from experience that people are intolerant of the most minor disabilities. There are even some people that say that people with psychiatric illnesses should have the "right" to kill themselves. Yet, I know that this is not compassion or love, but convienence. It is much easier to let challenging people suffer and die than to help them.

Also, it has taught me that God is truly our father, mother, sibling, companion and friend. Even when I am so depressed that I am upset with God and think that I don't want to go on, I know that God is there, "putting up" with me: loving me and edifying me, even when I don't know it.

[Progo35]

These are two poems that I wrote about depression:

Depression
I am the brittle leaves that break
As you walk in waning light
I am the night
My shrieking wail consumes
A theif-
A murderer-
I slash your soul with knives of nothingness

A Murder Victim

Blood-blood-blood-
upon my shirt
the blood is spreading with its crimson madness
drip drip drip
Upon the ivory tiles
I see the oak wood cabinet
looming up before my eyes
how straight and intricate the straight lines seem
As slowly it runs out
My body's blood
Held so carefully within my veins and arteries
The dark wood of the counter bleeds-
Fading slowly into darkness...

[scott snedeker]

Ok! all you depressed people are depressing mee!!!!


I believe depression, meaning melancholia, difficulty focussing on fun,work, joy or pleasure to be an organic condition of the brain. I use organic to indicated physiologic and anatomic state of the organ[brain]

For me I believe this organic injury happened during childhood and adolescence growing and developing in a homophobic environment. Some treatment options are with pharmacologic agents that often have gratifying results short term, But I am less and less impressed with them these days for long term improvement.

I have become very impressed with healthy models of spirituality, Thought focus and thought hygeine and the profound effects I feel from using them properly. I also can acutely feel the injurious effects of poor thought focus and poor thought hygeine. This is why I cringe when I read gay folks tell themselves and us to repent for being gay Its like watching someone cut themselves intentionally

I am convinced that over time good thought hygiene can slowly change the organic state of the brain to a healthier thriving one. Just like physical therapy has overcome the organic injury to the spinal cord caused by polio, I believe thought discipline therapy/spirituality can compensate for the organic brain injury of depression, anxiety and other mood disorders. How's that for empowerment?!!!

Some day I'll bet evidence of this will be detectable with imaging similar to MRI or PET scans.

So does Depression force some of us to develop these skills and strategies via spirituality? I definitely think so!