The Guilt is Killing Me

[Juls]

Being raised a Baptist in a conservative home made it very difficult to be true to myself. But after two failed marriages and finally falling in love with my parter of 2 1/2 years now I want to be open with everyone. I am out with many of my friends but not my family. My mother is a very "strong" Christian and hates gays and lesbians. I know because she is very open about it. My problem is this: After my divorce I took over one of my parents homes out of necessity for a place to live. My girlfriend has since moved in with me. I basically live in this home for free but it is my mother's house and is planning on giving it to me when she passes on. When ever she wants to visit me (she lives out of state) I always make an excuse or offer to go visit her.

I can't stand feeling guilty for living on her property but not honest about my lifestyle. I don't even know if I should feel guilty or not, but I sure do. My question is, do I owe her an explanation about my lifestyle? I know she would reject me, and may even want me out of the house. For all I know she would completely disown me. I don't know what to do.