Curiosity Killed the Cat

[Unmasked]

Ever do something you know you shouldn't because it would just make you upset, like stare at an ex's Myspace page, or keep their photo next to your bed...or go into the Foyer and read every one of a certain user's posts?

Yeah. I don't know why I felt the need to read those, because I knew that almost anything in the Foyer is there because it causes blood pressure to spike and cute fuzzy animals to be punted, but I did. And now I feel angry. And dumb for looking. And angry at feeling dumb, trapping me in a self-perpetuating spiral of anger and stupidity.

And now I open the floor to my friends to laugh at me.

[christa08]

I think everybody is guilty of things like this.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by Unmasked

Ever do something you know you shouldn't because it would just make you upset, like stare at an ex's Myspace page, or keep their photo next to your bed...or go into the Foyer and read every one of a certain user's posts?

Yeah. I don't know why I felt the need to read those, because I knew that almost anything in the Foyer is there because it causes blood pressure to spike and cute fuzzy animals to be punted, but I did. And now I feel angry. And dumb for looking. And angry at feeling dumb, trapping me in a self-perpetuating spiral of anger and stupidity.

And now I open the floor to my friends to laugh at me.

I understand your self-anger but I agree with christa that we're all guilty of doing stuff like this. Doing stupid stuff is a part of being human. So is being angry with yourself for doing stupid stuff. We all do that.

To grow is to try to avoid doing the same stupid thing over and over again. In other words, continuing to do what doesn't work, doesn't work.

Rick

[Unmasked]

I'm trying to desensitize myself so that I don't rip one of my professor's heads off during a lecture (the Civ and Lit professors love to get off track and compare the fall of Rome with America today, or downplay every possibility of erotic relationships between men through history). When we went over Alexander, my professor scoffed at the idea that Alexander may have liked men, said that it wasn't historically relevant, but that the video was going to talk about it and he didn't know why they thought we needed to know that. He got four e-mails from students who were offended that he'd even mentioned Alexander's relationship with his general, saying that we shouldn't be subjected to that in a history class.

This is one of the reasons I can't stand Christians, particularly young ones. They're so very sheltered, and their idea of a history class is rewriting it so that it fits in with their limited worldview. The more time I spend around Christians, the less I find I can believe in any of it, just because I find most Christians absolutely detestable. I try to remind myself that it's not all of them, because I know some wonderful Christians that are some of my best friends...but it's because I've separated them from the church. At the end of the day, I think I am prejudiced against Christians. Once it was coloured people (I still get a little uncomfortable sometimes though), now it's Christians.

I think back to my mistrust of coloured people, it all stemmed from one bad encounter. With Christians it's significantly more than one bad encounter, but still, how do you go about forgiving an entire ethnic group for what one did when you were ten? They don't need to be forgiven, but my mind wants to blame them for the wrongs committed. How do you challenge irrational feelings that won't go away even after acknowledging that they're completely unfounded?

[Zerbie]

[QUOTE=Unmasked;64435. With Christians it's significantly more than one bad encounter, but still, how do you go about forgiving an entire ethnic group for what one did when you were ten? They don't need to be forgiven, but my mind wants to blame them for the wrongs committed. How do you challenge irrational feelings that won't go away even after acknowledging that they're completely unfounded?[/QUOTE]

Sometimes, we have to live with feelings that are out of synch with what we know is actually rational. In those cases, the best thing I've ever found to do is to act according to what we KNOW is rational, despite the irrational feeling. It's hard to turn left when your whole set of feeling is SCREAMING to turn right, but we have to just do it.

The more often we successfully navigate in the outside world, relating to it AS IT IS (not according to our powerful irrational feelings,) the more we strengthen our new muscle at living in the real present, and the more we kick the legs out from under those irrational feelings. The feelings get smaller and weaker the more often we act against them and in accordance with what our head knows is healthy.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

Sometimes, we have to live with feelings that are out of synch with what we know is actually rational. In those cases, the best thing I've ever found to do is to act according to what we KNOW is rational, despite the irrational feeling. It's hard to turn left when your whole set of feeling is SCREAMING to turn right, but we have to just do it.

The more often we successfully navigate in the outside world, relating to it AS IT IS (not according to our powerful irrational feelings,) the more we strengthen our new muscle at living in the real present, and the more we kick the legs out from under those irrational feelings. The feelings get smaller and weaker the more often we act against them and in accordance with what our head knows is healthy.

Yes. I agree. Rational problem solving results in a greater chance for happiness.

Great post Zerbie.


Rick

[christa08]

Originally Posted by Unmasked

This is one of the reasons I can't stand Christians, particularly young ones. They're so very sheltered, and their idea of a history class is rewriting it so that it fits in with their limited worldview. The more time I spend around Christians, the less I find I can believe in any of it, just because I find most Christians absolutely detestable. I try to remind myself that it's not all of them, because I know some wonderful Christians that are some of my best friends...but it's because I've separated them from the church. At the end of the day, I think I am prejudiced against Christians.

I was that young, sheltered Christian a year ago.

Gay people never bothered me but I was raised to believe it was wrong to be homosexual. Now I know better and I'm a better person for it. Researching homosexuality in the Bible has led me to be more open to many lifestyles and think about people as individuals rather than groups. I'm still in my learning process and these forums are a BIG (I cannot stress that enough) part of my growth.

I can definitely see how you are prejudiced about Christians. I am a Christian and even I am prejudiced against them. But when you start to think about the individual instead of the group, it makes more sense. (At least that's how it works for me or I might've lost my mind by now.) If you think about it, you don't want a person being prejudiced against gays because of the random gay people using violence to get their points across. Obviously, not all homosexuals are violent just like not all Christians are closed-minded, hate-filled homophobes.

[Unmasked]

I know. I was once a sheltered Christian as well. It took a monster crush to bring me out of my cocoon. I know that there are good Christians, but I see so many bad ones, that it becomes easy to be discouraged. I did not like Christians when I was a Christian. I am afraid of them. I hate being afraid, so it is easier to hate.

I am not happy with either, but it is an easier unhappiness to hate than to fear.