Strange but true.

[buddy022158]

Dear Soulforce,

Hi. My name is Mike B. I am 50 years old going on 51. I first realized that I was gay in 1978. I tried for five years to change my orientation. I approached it from a Roman Catholic perspective since that was the religion that I was raised in. After that, I first entered the gay community in 1983. I stayed in the gay community until 1990. After that, I spent about 1 1/2 years in a Pentecostal church. Between 1992 and 1996 I was kind of all over the map in terms of being gay or ex-gay. Then between 1996 and 2006, I spent a solid 10 years in the gay community. Starting in 2006, I spent about 1 1/2 years in a fundamentalist church. Since that time I have re-entered the gay community. I feel ridiculous writing this. I still have problems accepting being gay. That is why I got on this list, to help me learn to accept being gay once and for all. I do not want to repeat my prior experiences with the Roman Catholic, Pentecostal and fundamentalist churches. I have received so much counseling in my life that I would rather do things like join this list. I now realize that most of the gay community's arguments with regard to the Bible are right on the mark. I just want to join in the discussion to see what I can learn. Thank you for taking the time to read this message. And, if you have the time, check out the following website: www.fruitsandnuts.info. You can learn more about me there.--Mike B

[Jennifer5]

Welcome Mike!

It sounds like you've had an interesting life. I'm glad that you found us, I'll look forward to seeing you around the forums.

[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Mike,

Glad that you have joined us here on the forums. Also will say welcome to a fellow Californian. Actually I have lived in Colorado for 15 years so my LA days are quite a ways behind me.

What is your definition of the "gay community"? You talk as though there is the choice between being in a church or in the gay community. I am musician in both Roman Catholic church and a Episcopal church. In both parishes I have been warmly welcomed. The Episcopal church is nice because being gay is officially accepted and we can discuss the issue of the church and it struggle to cast off old prejudices at fellowship hour after church. I must admit that I am not involved in a lot of activities with other gays. The town I live in has 377 people, so there aren't a lot of us here; plus I am sort of a loner.

Looking forward to what you have to say. Please join in our conversations.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[Daniel]

Hi Mike! Welcome to Soulforce.

My own journey started out in the Assemblies of God church, which I left after coming out at the age of 28. That was from the time I was an adolescent until 2 years after college. Like you, I am 50 going on 51.

Maybe you could clue us into to your specifc concerns about accepting yourself. It is about being gay, or reconciling being gay to your faith?

There are tons of threads about the subject here. You might start there- do a bit of reading. Or simply start a thread about a concern or question.

Let'r rip. Lots of helpful and knowledgeable people here!

Again. Welcome.

[Zerbie]

Welcome, Mike.

My heart goes out to you in your experiences of struggle and uncertainty. I am glad you came here.

Let us know, if you feel comfortable doing so, just what troubles you about accepting your feelings and your sense of yourself. Maybe we can help you discover something that will help.

[buddy022158]

Dear Zerbie,

Hi. I think that the biggest reason why I struggle to accept being gay is the fact that I am also a mental health client with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I have a website which is on the Internet. The URL for this site is www.fruitsandnuts.info. You might want to check out this site for more information.

Also, I do not have good social skills. I do not feel as though I fit in and I have trouble getting dates and making friends. But still, accepting being gay is the best thing that I can do. I am generally a lot higher functioning when in the gay community. That is why I am on this list. Thanks for taking the time to read this message.

Sincerely,

Mike Bottomley

[Rick336]

Mike,

I'm glad you have joined the Soulforce forum. I'm looking forward to hearing more about your life journey and your opinions on issues.

Welcome to the forum.

Rick

[Zerbie]

Hi Mike,

Ahh. While I do not know much (anything really) about schizophrenia, I do know that having emotional or mental problems is sometimes an enormous challenge in life that can make other things way more difficult. Kudos to you for taking the necessary steps to take care of your health and make your life more positive. If something works to make you higher functioning, then it makes sense to me that you ought to keep doing it. If it works, if it makes you healthier, then it is probably right for you.

[Gennee]

Welcome to the group, Mike. You have had an interesting journey and it has led you back to the gay community. I believe that you have returned home to the place you feel most comfortable.

I reconciled my faith and my transgenderism and I've never been happier. I checked out your website and it is quite interesting. I don't know that much about schizophrenia and I would like to learn.

I pray that you will post here quite often. There are some wonderful resources and people.

Gennee