I Came Out

[tehillah05]

That's exactly how it was. I came out tonight (about 2 hours ago) to my parents. I told my brother earlier today - he's leaving for Marine basic on the 23rd. He didn't "agree" but he said he loved me anyway and it's my life. My mom...yelled at first. My dad, seeing my tears and pure torment, told her to calm down and listen to what I have to say. Oh it was awful. Their reaction wasn't anything I didn't expect...I came in carrying a proverbial cross & nails because I was convinced I would be crucifed in the back yard. I know that's totally melodramatic but it's how I felt. My dad rambeled on and on about what I don't know...my mom kept telling me it's wrong and it's a sin and how do I expect to get into heaven w/ a blatant sin like this. My dad did eventually say that if it's a sin it's on the same scale as lifting bubble gum from Wal-Mart since God deals in absolutes and sin is sin. She said she could tell I wasn't happy...I said I haven't been happy because I've been in hiding. I tried to explain it's not a choice but that got me nowhere. The summary of my dad's response was "it's your life. I don't support or accept it but I won't stop loving you or kick you out of the family." He said that it's God's job to handle me (whatever that means) and he's not God. He talked about the prodigal son and said eventually I would come to the conclusion that's not 100% right.

I don't know how I feel. I feel like a horrible daughter and a huge let down. My mom, of course, wants me to get counseling from their pastor. Good guy, but believes in an inerrant Bible...I believe in the Bible, God and Jesus don't get me wrong but I think there are typos, if you will, in the modern Bible. But that's neither here nor there at this point. I just feel like I've completely let them down...I thought I'd feel better after telling them but I don't...really. I guess it takes time.

Moral of the story: my dad told me they still love me; if I marry a woman they won't be at the ceremony...no plans for that anyway; I'm still a member of the family...and it's my life. I guess.....