Going to the Doctor

[wmanion]

I am headed to my six month check up for my diabetes which is totally under control but I am planning on coming out to my doctor. I am very nervous about this since the last time I came out to a doctor, all my records mysteriously disappeared and was told that I was never a patient there and that they were not accepting new patients. I knew the real reason. I have given this a lot of thought and feel that I need to do this at this time because I have a concern I would like to talk to him about (nothing majorly serious), but to get him to understand where I am coming from I feel I must disclose this part of my life. I hope I still have a family doctor after this. He has been my doctor for ten years now and he is the best I have ever had and I don't want to lose his as my doctor. So wish me luck!

Bill

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by wmanion

I am headed to my six month check up for my diabetes which is totally under control but I am planning on coming out to my doctor. I am very nervous about this since the last time I came out to a doctor, all my records mysteriously disappeared and was told that I was never a patient there and that they were not accepting new patients. I knew the real reason. I have given this a lot of thought and feel that I need to do this at this time because I have a concern I would like to talk to him about (nothing majorly serious), but to get him to understand where I am coming from I feel I must disclose this part of my life. I hope I still have a family doctor after this. He has been my doctor for ten years now and he is the best I have ever had and I don't want to lose his as my doctor. So wish me luck!

Bill

Best of luck, Bill.

I hope you have a doctor with a complete brain.
If the worst happens and you cannot rely upon him anymore, perhaps it will be the proverbial 'blessing in disguise' and will lead you to a competent, trustworthy doctor with no issues around sexual orientation.

I had on an activist T shirt at one doctor visit last year. She commented on it and remarked to me that homophobia is "stupid" and she was happy to see my tee shirt. So we see that there ARE cool doctors with brains out there. Even in Arizona!

Hopefully, your current doc is worth his salt.
Let us know how it goes.

[BenL]

Bill,

I read your message half an hour after you posted it. I presume you're probably in the doctor's office as I write. Good luck. I found it very difficult to come out to my physician. He was fine with it, although a little clueless about my trans husband. But the work I did by coming out a couple of years ago (after reading on SF how important it is) prepared him for the night two weeks ago when he was on call and saw Charley in the emergency room. The doctor never batted an eye and treated Charley as the man he is, concerned about his heart and leaving the rest to us and our relationship.

The worst that can happen has already happened to you once. But the fact that you feel he is the best doctor you have ever had tells me that he'll be fine with knowing the "whole" you. He may have already guessed. Let us know how it goes.

[sarahbina]

Good luck to you, I've had bad experiences with doctors that are judgmental. Just like the rest of society, some are open minded and others are so threatened by things different from their straight and narrow...

I hope you have one who realizes his job is to care for the health of his patients, not to judge or impose his own values.

[wmanion]

I have been a smoker since I was 19 and I desperately wanted to quit. All attempts at cold turkey have been unsuccessful. I had spoken to the doctor in the past about meds to help quit but he had been reluctant to give them to me because of my past problems with depression. I have not had a major depressive episode in over six years and I contribute that to having come out to my kids and accepting myself and loving myself for who God made me. So this is what prompted me to come out to him and I did. His response was similar to what you wrote Zerbie. He said in this day and age for anyone to believe that our sexuality isn't hardwired at birth is just stupid. He said he had never chosen to be straight and he knows that gays don't choose to be gay. He thanked me for trusting him and also told me that over the past five years he could sense that I was really at peace with myself. He gave em Chantix to help me quit smoking but because the depression is in my record, I have to call him every week to let him know that I am okay and that I am doing well with it. He knows that I have a support group with my kids and brother that will tell me if I am starting to get off the wall, but I really believe those days are behind me. He shook my hand after the appointment and grasped my arm with his other hand as to reassure me that what I told him made no difference to him. It was a wonderful experience. Thanks Zerbie and Ben for your support.

Bill

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by wmanion

His response was similar to what you wrote Zerbie. He said in this day and age for anyone to believe that our sexuality isn't hardwired at birth is just stupid. He said he had never chosen to be straight and he knows that gays don't choose to be gay. He thanked me for trusting him and also told me that over the past five years he could sense that I was really at peace with myself.

He shook my hand after the appointment and grasped my arm with his other hand as to reassure me that what I told him made no difference to him. It was a wonderful experience. Thanks Zerbie and Ben for your support.

Bill

Oh Bill, we're so pleased to hear this news!! Half those hugs are for your doctor, btw, so give him some hugs from your 'support group' next time you see him.

Yayy! You have a doctor with a brain! And a heart. I thought it would go well, and am glad my instinct was right.

Bill, that is really wonderful that you have a medical doctor who monitors your overall health with appropriate care and concern. Everyone should have such good care.

I am happy for you.

[Rick336]

Bill,

That's great news! I'm glad to hear that you and your doctor are close and that you're on your way to quiting smoking.

I'm really happy for you.

Rick

[tdogg]

Bill, that is great news!! I'm glad you came out to your MD, it's so important that they know 'us', right?! Yes, you can quit smoking. You will. Best of luck to you!

[antiochian]

Hope the smoking cessation works for you. I managed to quit in '06, and it was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. Well, then I started up again a little over a year later. With all the stress in my life right now, I'm not ready to go through that again just yet.