What Bisexuality means to me

[marutidas]

On my other thread 10 Ways to Fight Hate, Zerbie and Wanderer had this to say about when people talk about their sexuality...

Originally Posted by Zerbie

I still often run into stupidities regarding bisexuality. For instance, people who think if a bisexual person has a monogamous partner, then s/he is not bisexual because "she isn't practicing." Like, you're only gay when you f***?

Originally Posted by Wanderer

I've been running around the Web recently, and there's a lot of stupidity out there. Now, stupidity from the likes of Fred Phelps is one thing; apparently, that's par for the course. It's not good, but at least it's not surprising.

What's under my skin is the stupidity that comes from other gay men. How can any gay man rationalize the claim that bisexuals "are really closeted gays." True, a lot of gay men, on their way out of the closet, do use the term "bisexual" as a way of getting used to come out to others as *gay.* But that's no reason to invalidate the entire idea of actually having a bisexual orientation.

I've run into similar remarks about asexuals. ("How is asexuality a sexual orientation at all?" some seem to ask.) Okay, asexuality by definition is a lack of sexual attraction. Fine. But that doesn't mean that it's somehow invalid to use the phrase "sexual orientation" to describe it; it's just an orientation away from all sex, rather than an orientation towards some variety of sex. Big deal. We should still be able to make common cause with asexuals. Another objection is that asexuals don't face the kinds of discrimination that we do. Again: big deal. Asexuals themselves will tell you as much. Just because their goals are different (recognition as asexuals, rather than, say, celibates or closeted gays; and inclusion in education about, and research concerning, the various queer communities) doesn't mean that we can't help them, and they help us.

I know that this is a bit more of a rant than anything else, but is anyone else out there running into this kind of nonsense *within* the gay community?

Wanderer

I invite all our Bi brothers and sisters to weigh in on their sexuality and what it means to them.