Prayer Requests

[andrewlittle]

That’s what they say, but I’m yet to be convinced. I am taking yet another hiatus while my doctor tries to adjust my meds. Finding the right combination for Bipolar II is something of a trial and error process, or even possibly a crap shoot, and the subject of the experiments (in this case me) gets to enjoy the roller coaster ride. Those who love me just get to watch and care, while feeling helpless.

There is something very humbling about being tossed to and fro by the effects of little pills. For a recovering control freak, it’s a little scary. I have missed two Sunday services because I can’t ensure that I can maintain emotionally for a couple of hours straight, and people could be disturbed by displays of emotion - never mind the possibility of breaking down in the pulpit. Now I’ve been advised to take medical leave for at least another couple of weeks. I have a feeling a recommendation for long-term leave might also be coming.

The possibility looms large that I may be done in ministry. In an already challenging ministry, this interruption may prove too much for the church to bear. I know it might be the death knell of this particular call. I also question whether it is appropriate for someone who gets their personality from a pill to minister to others, when the potential always exists for erratic and unpredictable emotions. So, little by little, as the days tick by, my heart breaks just a little more because I can’t quite envision how God can use a vessel quite this broken.

I would appreciate your prayers - for wellness and discernment.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

That’s what they say, but I’m yet to be convinced. I am taking yet another hiatus while my doctor tries to adjust my meds. Finding the right combination for Bipolar II is something of a trial and error process, or even possibly a crap shoot, and the subject of the experiments (in this case me) gets to enjoy the roller coaster ride. Those who love me just get to watch and care, while feeling helpless.

There is something very humbling about being tossed to and fro by the effects of little pills. For a recovering control freak, it’s a little scary. I have missed two Sunday services because I can’t ensure that I can maintain emotionally for a couple of hours straight, and people could be disturbed by displays of emotion - never mind the possibility of breaking down in the pulpit. Now I’ve been advised to take medical leave for at least another couple of weeks. I have a feeling a recommendation for long-term leave might also be coming.

The possibility looms large that I may be done in ministry. In an already challenging ministry, this interruption may prove too much for the church to bear. I know it might be the death knell of this particular call. I also question whether it is appropriate for someone who gets their personality from a pill to minister to others, when the potential always exists for erratic and unpredictable emotions. So, little by little, as the days tick by, my heart breaks just a little more because I can’t quite envision how God can use a vessel quite this broken.

I would appreciate your prayers - for wellness and discernment.

Andy,

I don't know much about Bipolar, but you said that you get to enjoy the roller coaster ride while your doctor adjusts the meds. That sounds like that at least you're getting to enjoy some of this even if it may be drug induced.

Is that something you can focus on?

Rick

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

So, little by little, as the days tick by, my heart breaks just a little more because I can’t quite envision how God can use a vessel quite this broken.

I love the way you express yourself with words. You put emotion into your writing so that the rest of us can feel what you're feeling. I hope you're keeping a journal.

Rick

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

That’s what they say, but I’m yet to be convinced. I am taking yet another hiatus while my doctor tries to adjust my meds. Finding the right combination for Bipolar II is something of a trial and error process, or even possibly a crap shoot, and the subject of the experiments (in this case me) gets to enjoy the roller coaster ride. Those who love me just get to watch and care, while feeling helpless.

There is something very humbling about being tossed to and fro by the effects of little pills. For a recovering control freak, it’s a little scary. I have missed two Sunday services because I can’t ensure that I can maintain emotionally for a couple of hours straight, and people could be disturbed by displays of emotion - never mind the possibility of breaking down in the pulpit. Now I’ve been advised to take medical leave for at least another couple of weeks. I have a feeling a recommendation for long-term leave might also be coming.

The possibility looms large that I may be done in ministry. In an already challenging ministry, this interruption may prove too much for the church to bear. I know it might be the death knell of this particular call. I also question whether it is appropriate for someone who gets their personality from a pill to minister to others, when the potential always exists for erratic and unpredictable emotions. So, little by little, as the days tick by, my heart breaks just a little more because I can’t quite envision how God can use a vessel quite this broken.

I would appreciate your prayers - for wellness and discernment.

My thoughts are with you Uncle Andy.
Love you!

[u-dog]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

So, little by little, as the days tick by, my heart breaks just a little more because I can’t quite envision how God can use a vessel quite this broken.

I would appreciate your prayers - for wellness and discernment.

Those prayers you have my brother. In my experience and understanding broken vessels who know that they are broken are the ONLY kind that God uses. Unbroken vessels and broken vessels who are unaware of their brokeness tend to think that they ARE God.

Take whatever time you need to care for yourself even if that means a longer term disability. Let God decide what is to come after (since he will ANYWAY).

Know that you are loved by many!!

[BenL]

Originally Posted by u-dog

Those prayers you have my brother. ... Know that you are loved by many!!

AMEN. Much love.

[Jennifer5]

A friend was outed. When asked if the rumors were true, he said no. Please surround him with thoughts of love and support, he's feeling kinda down.

[antiochian]

Hello and blessings to all. For several months, things have been really crazy in my life. Depression has been crippling me over the last few months, to where I can hardly function. My grades are affected as well. I'm set to graduate in December, and need to get my butt in gear preparing for graduate school. This is no time for me to be falling apart! I am not one to often talk about my issues, but I have found myself reaching out more and more to others over the months as I feel myself sinking lower.

To top it all off, I took the step of writing a long letter to a guy I really like, pouring my heart out to him, only to discover he's not interested. I'm trying to remain hopeful in all of this, but it's hard. I am gradually becoming a zombie, and that scares me. I've been officially diagnosed with major depression.

I see from previous postings I'm not alone in emotional struggles, and I lift those in similar circumstances up in my thoughts. I ask for your prayers and good thoughts at this time.

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by antiochian

Hello and blessings to all. For several months, things have been really crazy in my life. Depression has been crippling me over the last few months, to where I can hardly function. My grades are affected as well. I'm set to graduate in December, and need to get my butt in gear preparing for graduate school. This is no time for me to be falling apart! I am not one to often talk about my issues, but I have found myself reaching out more and more to others over the months as I feel myself sinking lower.

To top it all off, I took the step of writing a long letter to a guy I really like, pouring my heart out to him, only to discover he's not interested. I'm trying to remain hopeful in all of this, but it's hard. I am gradually becoming a zombie, and that scares me. I've been officially diagnosed with major depression.

I see from previous postings I'm not alone in emotional struggles, and I lift those in similar circumstances up in my thoughts. I ask for your prayers and good thoughts at this time.

Try to think positively!
"In order to see the rainbow, we must first endure some rain."
We love you!!

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by antiochian

Hello and blessings to all. For several months, things have been really crazy in my life. Depression has been crippling me over the last few months, to where I can hardly function. My grades are affected as well. I'm set to graduate in December, and need to get my butt in gear preparing for graduate school. This is no time for me to be falling apart! I am not one to often talk about my issues, but I have found myself reaching out more and more to others over the months as I feel myself sinking lower.

To top it all off, I took the step of writing a long letter to a guy I really like, pouring my heart out to him, only to discover he's not interested. I'm trying to remain hopeful in all of this, but it's hard. I am gradually becoming a zombie, and that scares me. I've been officially diagnosed with major depression.

I see from previous postings I'm not alone in emotional struggles, and I lift those in similar circumstances up in my thoughts. I ask for your prayers and good thoughts at this time.

I went through periods of depression in 1972, 1974, 1976, and 1997. They weren't pleasant.

Here's an entry into my journal from 1997:

Today is Saturday, March 23rd, 1997. It's an absolutely gorgeous day outside and I'm all alone inside with no one to share the day with. I have hit rock bottom this weekend. I feel like a complete failure in life. All my relationships have failed. I'm 45 years old and I'm making $28,000 a year. I've been turned down for a customer service position and have been rejected by a man who I once thought we had potential for companionship. I have very little money and had to borrow money from Mom to get my chimney fixed that the city says MUST be repaired in sixty days. Life really sucks right now. I long for the good times.



(What I didn't realize I was doing was comparing myself to other people and where I thought a 45 year old man should be in life. That's what caused my depression. When I finally stopped doing that the depression went away.)


Here's an entry I wrote just last week:

Today is Sunday, April 12, 2009. I just got back from spending the afternoon with the family and I'm sitting here on my front porch. It's around 6:35 in the late afternoon and the sun is moving towards the horizon but there's still plenty of sunshine and clear blue sky on this gorgeous Easter Sunday. Today has been one of the most beautiful Easters I can remember in a long time. The rain on Good Friday made the lawns a brilliant green and the tree buds a pastel. There are azaleas, dogwoods, daffodils, and tulips everywhere. The birds are singing and the neighborhood kids are playing. A father is walking down the sidewalk with his young daughter on his shoulders.




There's a great book that might help you titled, "The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression," by Julian L. Simon. It's easy to read and gives details of how negative thoughts and self-comparison causes a lot of depression. I don't know if it will help but you might want to check it out.

Also, you might want to think about keeping a journal. I've been writing in my journal off and on since January 1967 and it helps to keep things in perspective.

Anyway, good luck and keep us posted of your situation.

Rick

[Zerbie]

Yes, negative thoughts can cause depressed moods. But we cannot oversimplify. Depression also causes negative thoughts.

The best approach to a clinical depression is to tackle the medical angle in cooperation with your doctors (you get a say in treatment, too, that is critically important), and then immediately begin training the mind to think positively as a habit. But the chemicals themselves can keep you thinking negative thoughts just as surely as a brick wall can keep you from walking through it.

[Rick336]

Here's a link to some information to Self-Comparisons Analysis and depression. It talks about how writing down your self-comparison thoughts is very important:

http://www.healthyplace.com/depressi.../menu-id-1335/


Rick

[u-dog]

This is the prayer request thread. People post here to ask for intercessory prayer on their (or others) behalf. Perhaps we could start a "dealing with depression" thread?

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

So, little by little, as the days tick by, my heart breaks just a little more because I can’t quite envision how God can use a vessel quite this broken.

I would appreciate your prayers - for wellness and discernment.

Oh gee, how did I miss this?

Andy, God is the ONE who can use any vessel no matter how broken it may be. If you handed God a violin with no strings at all, He would still produce the most amazing music on it.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by u-dog

This is the prayer request thread. People post here to ask for intercessory prayer on their (or others) behalf. Perhaps we could start a "dealing with depression" thread?

U-dog,

That's a good idea. We should probably do that.

Rick

[marcdash]

Can I just remind people of something even more powerful at times than the power of prayer? The power of actually physically going out and helping others if you have the chance?
Cut a poorly neighbours hedge? Visit the sick? Buy someone a gift?
I always try to do those things before I pray as much as I can.
Im not having a dig at anyone, its just my old church...all they did was pray...there was never any labourers and thats what God wants.

[Jennifer5]

I had a crappy day and I'm not really sure how to handle all the things that have me upset right now. I always expect things to blow over, but this time the issue hasn't gone away, but instead it's gotten much worse. Nothing serious, all just emotional family type stuff... but it really sucks. Please just pray that I will find a good way handle the situation.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by Jennifer5

I had a crappy day and I'm not really sure how to handle all the things that have me upset right now. I always expect things to blow over, but this time the issue hasn't gone away, but instead it's gotten much worse. Nothing serious, all just emotional family type stuff... but it really sucks. Please just pray that I will find a good way handle the situation.

That's the big stuff, Jen, the things that hit at home and are close to where we live, emotionally. It IS the big stuff.
I'm sorry it's getting you down, but I know you have the strength to get through it all. The funny thing is, strength doesn't feel like we expect it to feel. It feels more vulnerable, more emotionally exposed. You have real strength, and you have friends who care about you.

Let us know if we can offer more.

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

That's the big stuff, Jen, the things that hit at home and are close to where we live, emotionally. It IS the big stuff.
I'm sorry it's getting you down, but I know you have the strength to get through it all. The funny thing is, strength doesn't feel like we expect it to feel. It feels more vulnerable, more emotionally exposed. You have real strength, and you have friends who care about you.

Let us know if we can offer more.

You just gave me what I needed the most, thank you. Love you sis.

[mercy]

please pray to everyone in the world.


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