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[chantal]

Hi my name is Chantal

I live in South Africa. I am a legal secretary. 1.65 m long, Dark aubern hair and green eyes.

My life went from a high to an very low and since then it is like an roller coaster. Why? I fell in love with my best friend (last year), while I am still married with 2 kids (age 2 1/2 and 9). My current marriage was falling apart for many years and I was unhappy, but never the guts to leave.
To make a long story short. We didn't realise what was happening as we spent more and more time together. We have so much in commom. I could actually be myself and laugh and sometimes just be silly and she let me be. We are so in tuned with one another, and this is what I always dreamt to have, but never had. Until last year. My family is from a Christian background and they had their suspitions, and confronted us with discussions and one on one Q & A chat cessions. And telling how disgusted they were if it was true and that they will alienate me from the family (which they anyway did) and disown me etc etc.

My mom said she was so ashamed of me, but turned around and told all her friends and family about this. This all happened while I tried to come to terms what was happening to me and what I felt.

Why I did not acknowledge when they confronted me so many times? It was not so easy for me. Saying in one sentence to I must confirm their suspitions and if it was true that my parents will disown me - right me off. That I didn't want. So I chickened out and just denied it.

I did acknowledged it months later via letters. Since last year my family alienated me and made a point to disclude me from their lives.

Here I am today - still happy with my girlfriend. I think the whole experience made us more closer to one another. We are still together and we hope to move in and eventually get married and have a child together. And just continue to live happily ever after. That is my / our dream. That is what keeps me going. So many people just kept on trying, believing and loving and they have it today.

What kept me back is I am to worried what people think of me. I know it is wrong, but that was how I was brought up. I really try to go with the flow and not live for my family or friends. So far so good.

That is my high and lows of my roller coaster life. I am still . And on that days I do feel I always have the one person in my life who full fills my every need, who lifts me up and who makes me whole again. She is the most patient and loving person I have ever met. She always puts my needs before hers. My partner whom I am so greatfull for - who entered my life for a reason I believe.

So I live each day as it comes. And handle it the best I can and with whatever I have.

[Gennee]

Hi Chantal and welcome. I'm sorry about what happened with your family. Now you can live your life on your terms. Be sure to pray and tell God about how you feel. I find that He keeps me focused and life in proper perspective.

Gennee

[Poetic Awakening]

Welcome to the boards, and I hope things keep getting better for the both of you. I know how families can be sometimes... even though I am still closeted for the most part myself. My wife knows, and my dad knows I am bisexual, whether or not he understood what I was saying is beyond me though.lol But I live in a 'traditional' marriage, despite being bi and trans. Of course I am still sailing in uncharted waters, I know that the most important thing is to have someone who can make you happy, like it sounds your girlfriend does for you. So I can only hope that all goes well for you