Bi-sexuality, revisited

[ByeBye]

I wash thoroughly everyday, with a washcloth, thank you very much. My husband has never complained at all. In fact, he wants to be intimate practically every day of the week.

I have never actually done anything with a woman, either. I've only fantasized. I just know how I smell when I am intimate. I even asked the gyno if that was normal to smell that way (during intimacy) back when I first seen a gyno. She said that the exam showed nothing abnormal, and that she was not concerned.

I just thought that all women (when they get intimate) smell that way. As I said, that elderly woman had said she didin't like the smell of tuna because it smelled like a woman's crotch.

BC, I came on this site so I could try and come to terms with my bisexuality, not to be accused of not bathing properly. I wanted some support from the bisexual community, maybe I need to look elsewhere.

[tymejumper]

Bye Bye, I don't think BC was trying to imply that you didn't bathe. I think he was replying to my post about 'gamey men'.

In reguards to bisexuality: Just because you are Bi does not mean you can't have a good and fufilling relationship with your husband. You don't have to have a girl on the side. All that bisexuality implies is that you are capable of finding emotional and physical fufillment with either sex. It does not mean you have to date both, that you have to sleep with both or you that you ever have or ever will.

I really struggled when I came out, I was married over 15 years and finally could not take being closeted any longer. I was unsure if I was Lesbian or Bi. I knew I had had crushes on women and desired them, but I had always dated men and had sex with them. The community around here was not very supportive of Bi women and many lesbians would not even look at me twice because I stated that I thought I was Bi. Some were really mean about it also. I think many Bi people on this site can attest to the way some of the community receives Bi people. I ended up going to several years of counciling and desided that I am actually mostly lesbian. Notice I say mostly lesbian, not "I'm a lesbian". I was told by my therapist that 10% of the population is completely str8, 10% gay, and the other 80% fall on a continum of less or more str8 to gay. That actually means that sexuality is a very fluid thing. It also means there is no consistant way to identify Bisexual and gay people other than they are attracted to their own sex. How's that for confusing? It confused me! Also, I came to understand myself as wanting emotional and physical intimacy with women, feeling fufilled by them, but I still notice a good looking, sexy man.

I hope your husband is supportive of your feelings. It may help you to go to a therapist for a few visits and even read up on some books. There are many good books by and for Bisexual people out there. If you hit Barnes and Nobles sites and also Bing or Google Bisexual, you can find some really good chat groups. I love Butch-Femme.com. It's open to everyone that is gay. They have a great Bi section to post in there also.

In order to accept you being Bi, it will take time and realizing that the lable means nothing. If you are happy and love your husband, then it does not matter if you are attracted to women. You chose him and you love him. You found the one you needed to find.

Much Metta

[BruceChris]

I had never wished to imply that you had anything to be concerned about. I guess I got a little carried away verbalizing about "other" (?) peoples behavior. As I said, I havenever encountered this concern in anyone that I have met personally.

You sound a bit like Tyme says she was, before she had some experience. You of course have a husband, but I suspect you can only learn what you need to know through experience. Is it possible for you to meet in any bi-women, where you live? This has gone from a Bi discussion, to a bi-women's discussion. I started it, but I guess I'll give you women some space. (I just now saw that Tyme posted while I was typing)

Peace and love, Bruce Chris

[tymejumper]

Originally Posted by BruceChris

This has gone from a Bi discussion, to a bi-women's discussion. I started it, but I guess I'll give you women some space. (I just now saw that Tyme posted while I was typing)

Peace and love, Bruce Chris

Hey now, you're very welcome to post about being Bi. We love to have a males view on all of this. I think being Bi in the gay mans world could be a bit different than in a womans world. It always seemed to me that males were way more accepting about bisexuality than lesbians were. The guys I met were very cancic and seemed ok with it all. So fill us in!

[BruceChris]

But I still have roots in the LGBT and feminist communities. I've long been active in Minn NOW. EDIT: My church is an offshoot of the local MCC church. The closest that I have ever come to a committed relationship when I was gay-active was the 3 years that I spent with Lynn, who grew up as Alan.

I generally feel much more at home with gay men than str8. In my heart of heart, I would say that I feel a lot in common with lesbians, but it is usually easier to just pass as a str8 guy. And of course I always find tomboys attractive.

Most of what I am relating has to do with what I have learned by observation, and when I was active in bi groups. I suppose I was one of those who was as yet undefined.

Some experts claim that women can be more truly bisexual than men can. They probably have a point there.

Peace, Bruce Chris

[celestial_rain]

wow, thats a highly amusing way to put it and thats competely true...proper bathing should be pretty high up there on the list of necessary things to do before leaving the house

[ByeBye]

It's okay BruceChris, I forgive you. I am very happy with my husband. I got a winner when I picked him!

[ByeBye]

Thank you for your reply, tymejumper.

[tymejumper]

Originally Posted by ByeBye

Thank you for your reply, tymejumper.

You're very welcome. I just hope my pain can be a source of comfort or help to someone. It makes it seem more worthwile if it served a purpose.

[BruceChris]

http://www.feministing.com/archives/018085.html

http://www.zazzle.com/proud_owner_of...51465083434682

Bruce Chris