Forgiving George Rekers?

[Ozgeorge]

For those of you who may not know, the Rev. George Rekers, a prominent anti-gay activist and co-founder with James Dobson of the Family Research Council, author of the books: "Shaping Your Child's Sexual Identity" and "Growing Up Straight: What Families should Know about Homosexuality", a vocal advocate and practitioner of "Reparative Therapy" and, until the 11th of this month, an advisor to NARTH (National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality) was recently photographed with a young male prostitute he contacted through "www.rentboy.com" whom Rekers hired and took on a trip to London and Madrid to "carry his luggage": ( http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2010-05...with-rent-boy/ )
Part of me is taking some Schadenfreude in watching the demise of George Rekers - a fact I'm not very proud of - but anther part of me wants to meet him in what must be a very dark time for him and say gently to him: "The truth will set you free George."
The first casualty of war is truth, and this is true also in the culture wars which polarize our societies today. And when people start to deny the truth, they close their hearts and are capable of anything.
Will George Rekers ever admit the truth to himself? I don't know, I doubt it. But I don't want him to die because of it. If George Rekers kills himself over this, I wouldn't rejoice. I don't want anyone else to die because of George Rekers' decades of homophobia- not even George Rekers himself.
Can I forgive the damage that George Rekers has done? The suicides, the children ripped from their parents, the families destroyed....? I don't know, I doubt it. I certainly can't forgive the fact that some of Rekers' followers would rather see kids kill themselves than be gay. But I think I can forgive a pathetic old closeted man for being a pathetic old closeted man.
I realise that not everyone here is a Christian, but I am, and one of the basic teachings of the Founder of my Faith is: "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and spitefully use you". Only if I can love my worst enemy can I really claim to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. But it has to be a genuine and unconditional Love, not the phoney "love-the-sinner-but-hate-the-sin" rhetoric that George Rekers professes. If I don't do better at unconditional love than George Rekers, I'm no better than he is.
So for what its worth George Rekers, no matter what you decide to do, I just wanted to say: the truth will set you free
"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faith; these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel!" (Matthew 23:23-24)

[HELENz]

Very nice post. I would agree with what you have to say.

[bnmoore]

A trip abroad with a younger man doesn't violate my rules. His own self acceptance is none of my business. Mine is.

[Daniel]

My own view is that Rekers has harmed himself greatly, and will probably do so until his dying day, that is, if his words to the media after to be believed. And it is about belief, is it not? Rekers seems to be Ok with thinking he's not gay because he didn't actually have gay sex, which is kinda like a girl thinking she's not having sex because she is only giving her boyfriend a blowjob. Last I heard, the BRAIN was the biggest sex organ. And I don't write this to be cute, funny or provocative. Science understands that sexual orientation has everything to do with the hardwiring of the brain, not what the genitals are doing.

Personally, I can have compassion for Rekers, but as I see it, this isn't magic. Compassion does, however, help keep my inner aggressiveness from engaging, which is what 'be the change you seek' is all about- at least- as I understand it.

Will this circumstance bring Rekers to a place where he can see and feel the untold misery his actions have had on others? Perhaps. And perhaps not. But if - and when - that day comes, he will have to learn to have true compassion for himself.

[Ozgeorge]

Originally Posted by bnmoore

A trip abroad with a younger man doesn't violate my rules. His own self acceptance is none of my business. Mine is.

I agree, however none of that is what I find difficulty in forgiving. Like I said, I can forgive a pathetic closeted old man. What I have difficulty in forgiving is decades of damage done to GLBT people by what George Rekers taught and practiced along with Dobson et al- the lives and families destroyed through "Reparative Therapy", the political hate-mongering in the name of God for which he was responsible, the vicious lies he told and spread about homosexuality which are still believed by many today..... That is what I find reprehensible and difficult to forgive.

[Ozgeorge]

Double post. Sorry.

[Ozgeorge]

Originally Posted by Daniel

Personally, I can have compassion for Rekers, but as I see it, this isn't magic. Compassion does, however, help keep my inner aggressiveness from engaging, which is what 'be the change you seek' is all about- at least- as I understand it.

Will this circumstance bring Rekers to a place where he can see and feel the untold misery his actions have had on others? Perhaps. And perhaps not. But if - and when - that day comes, he will have to learn to have true compassion for himself.

Well said. And I think that without that kind of compassion, non-violent resistance is impossible. I guess the closest I can come to it is thinking that, misguided as Rekers' was, he probably thought (or at least convinced himself) that he was doing the right thing.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Ozgeorge

Well said. And I think that without that kind of compassion, non-violent resistance is impossible. I guess the closest I can come to it is thinking that, misguided as Rekers' was, he probably thought (or at least convinced himself) that he was doing the right thing.

And the Exodus people are perhaps thinking this kind of thing as well. They really do believe that 'love the sinner and hate the sin' crappola.

The Buddhists are very methodical about how they go about extending compassion. One first learns to have it for one's self (sitting meditation practice), then others who elicit warm-hearted affection, and then slowly- and progressively- to neutral persons, and only after that to those who rub one the wrong way.

One doesn't start with the 'enemy'.

And I love your avatar OzGeorge! Makes me smile every time I see it. Two boys in love. Heavenly!

[Ozgeorge]

Originally Posted by Daniel

And I love your avatar OzGeorge! Makes me smile every time I see it. Two boys in love. Heavenly!

Thanks! They are Sts. Sergius and Bacchus.
I was going to change my avatar to this, but the text would be too small:

[Daniel]

I took an icon writing class a number of years ago. It was an very interesting experience. When I was working on the halo I dreamt that I fell into it- and that was heavenly.

The cigarette is a nice touch! lol

[Rick336]

I feel sorry for George Rekers. Imagine the embarrassment and humiliation and an entire life of self-deception and self-hate. It makes me feel so lucky.

Would I forgive him? Absolutely.


Rick

[Gennee]

We really have to forgive him. We can't undo the damage he has done but if he is willing to learn and change then he needs to be sure that we do the right thing.

Gennee

[Ozgeorge]

If George Rekers only knew that the people he has spent his life vilifying are actually more forgiving than the "Christian" institutions who have now turned their backs on him!