Working it out

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This is something I honestly thought would never happen in a million years. A month ago you couldn't have convinced me that she would ever return. And in a very real sense, she hasn't. But- She has committed to working on this with me, but is very hesitant to commit to much else. I have taken steps to promise to be there if she decides to have a child. I have told her that I want to be there from start to finish. We have spent the night together 3 times, and had sex twice. God, it was wonderful to sleep with her again.

I still live separately however, in an apartment, while she is taking measures to move back into our home, while trying to sell it. She says she is not ready emotionally for me to move back home. I am not ready emotionally to give all of myself to her, although, we have agreed to conjugal visits. But I am a little nervous about a full blown commitment because I want certain things and right now, she is not able to give them to me.

Basically all she wants is a child. After that happens, who the hell knows what she will come up with that she absolutely has to have to be happy. I wonder honestly if she can be satisfied.

Time will tell, is all I can say, but I am amazed at the 180 degree turnaround she has made in at least trying to work on this. It has been 3 months yesterday since she left and I was really unsure she would ever return. So things change, and people change. I am just praying that this time of brokenness for me has been a changing agent and I am capable of doing what I say I am gonna do. This to me, is a God thing and I believe He orchestrated all of it. Now I want to know what the purpose was and why he brought me and us to this place.