Freedom: my family's story

[Jennifer5]

Many of the forum members have heard about some of the issues my family had with my biological father.

History:
He was abusive towards my mom since they got married in 1989. He was incapable of being there for my mom when she miscarried a baby shortly after we moved to Washington in 2002. By February 2004 she had filed for a divorce under extreme circumstances. Over two years later and much fighting the divorce was final in April 2006.
Summer of 2006, with help from a forum member (Patrick), we (my sis and I) went to the Soulforce 1000 Watt March with our father. By September 2006, we had decided that we did not deserve to have to go see him every week and have that sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs. He insulted our mom, we were exhausted, we knew he was lying to us and we decided we deserved better. September 2006 was the last time he had visitation.
We found out from our therapist, that he forced us to go to, a few weeks later that he was getting married. He never bothered to tell us about the wedding.
December 2006 he showed up at a school program, that my sister and I were in, unannounced. My sister and I were extremely shook-up. That was the last time that we saw him.
For the next four years he tried many times to get back in contact with us, this included bribes that got to the point of being scary and demeaning. We ignored them because of how much happier we were without his presence in our lives. The only contact we had in these four years was strictly business.
Under the divorce settlement all of our income from him and all of his obligations ended August 2010. He had recently requested that my sister and I’s college funds be returned to him and he started a legal battle. We were ready to give up; we thought for sure that we were going to be forced to return it to him just to get him to leave us alone.

Current Situation:
August 31, 2010 it all ended. After back and forth arguing, which my mom and sister had to be kept out of for health purposes, he gave up. From the emails that I had been sending him, he finally realized that one way or another he wasn’t going to be in contact with my sister and I. The man who never gives up responded to an email that started with: “Ok, I give up.”
I jumped out of bed and ran into my room after I read the email. I was in shock and SO happy. I told my mom and sister. A 300 lb burden was just lifted off our shoulders. My mom burst into tears, the release was unreal. For so many years we needed that release.
I would like to think that he did not have any power over us because you have to give someone permission to control you, but he managed to turn our stomachs every time.
He freed us. He relinquished our money to us. He no longer owes us anything or has any say about our lives. No one in the family slept that night, we were in shock and happy; we were flying high. For the next couple days the shock didn’t wear off, still hasn’t completely. We were emotionally exhausted but for the first time in years we were all finally able to wake up and feel rested and safe.

This is freedom.