Hello

[nydalek]

Hello, my name is Chris.

I guess you can say I've been very, very spiritual throughout my life. I am happy that the Lord has been with me for the last decade or so. I have just gotten over a very emotionally destructing coming out to myself process that I consider more of a "stop suppressing it because it's making you worse".

For most of my life, I tried to be straight. I always wanted to settle down and start a family; nice house, faithful wife, maybe two children. However, recent days have led to people asking questions, and causing emotional fear in myself and people who deeply care for me. Once I started realizing that I have been trying to be something that I'm not, the whole world started opening up to me. I have never felt better in my life, and I feel like I'm much closer to God than I ever have been. I felt like my prayers to be straight were in vain, and once I talked to someone who went through the same situation as I , everything got easier.

Now, the new journey is scary, however I walk with the Lord every day, so it makes it easier. Some close friends and coworkers know the struggle I've been through, and are willing to help me out in any way possible. What makes it even worse is that my parents don't know. I'm sure my mother knows in some way, because that's part of the maternal instinct. My father, boy, I don't know how he will take it. We have a family run business, and he as well as I want a seventh generation to the business. We have a couple people who work for us who are gay, and he's fully accepting of them. However, I'm not sure how he will take it with me.

I know that finally figuring it out won't change who I am based on principle. I will always be a Christian, and I will always be a conservative. I don't like the whole thing that I have to conform to the "lifestyle" just because I happen to be. If there is anyone that can extend loving support in my direction, it would be greatly appreciated. I believe God led me to this site for a purpose; that he wants me to be happy and not worry about the future.

Thanks, and God bless!