New Old guy

[timwar]

Hello, I am an older Christian guy, 60 yrs old. Spent 17 years actively "gay". (Christian since age 7) went through ex-gay Love in Action residential program from1992-1995. Entered Eastern Orthodox Church thru baptism and chrismation. Spent 1999-2005 in Orthodox monasteries looking to become a monk. Left Monastic life and Orthodoxy to return to protestant church in 2005. Worked with Love in Action for one year. Now I don't go to church, feel that I have broken my relationship with God, very isolated, and still celibate/chaste since 1992 although I started up with porn and masturbation about a year ago after total abstinence for years and years.

I want to live as a Christian, but sense I inherently am a complete sex addict although somewhat under control.. I am on meds for depression and bi-polar. Apart from all that stuff, I am a pretty swell guy, believe it or not!