Local Homophobia

[SolInvictus]

Thanks Cat - appreciate your prayers & advice.

[Big-Cheese]

Moving on. Thanks for you friendship.
Blessings to you all

[SolInvictus]

Tonight was interesting... I visited my dad's church & it felt like he & a few others were trying to set me up w/ a "tomboy" girl. Honestly, I suspect she's a lesbian as she hasn't ever had a boyfriend to my knowledge. Anyway, being gay myself, I think their suspicions may be rising of my orientation & possibly of this girl as both of us are private people & single.

Oh well, just thinking out loud...

Blessings to All.

[SolInvictus]

Thank you Big Cheese for commenting. True, things could always be worse, & you put things into perspective. Indeed, the LGBT community in the Middle East have been sentenced to prison, castrated, or put to death for simply being themselves... (This was illustrated in the documentary: Dangerous Living).

[Catt of the Garage]

Erk.

Thinking about Big Cheese's comment. It reminds me of Eastern Europe - for so many years they were oppressed under communism, and the ethnic tensions which were rife before seemed to just disappear. But they hadn't disappeared, they were just frozen while the people contended with a bigger threat. Following the revolutions, a lot of these countries destabilised, in a kind of "Right, where were we?" wave of reawakened violence.

Solinvictus - Oh, dear. Matchmaking. The joys. Was your mother involved by any chance? Mothers seem to do that, it's instinctive, I think.

Don't be too quick to assume the girl is a lesbian - I was a tomboy (still am a bit) and did not have a boyfriend for years, but I'm not a lesbian. It just took me a while to find the right bloke, and I'm a one-man-woman, so I didn't have much interest in random relationships. I have a friend who is a lesbian and is a far more feminine dresser than I am. The stereotypes often don't fit.

[SolInvictus]

Thanks Cat, I needed a reality check. Indeed, most people assume I am as conservative as my dad in public or never met me; indeed, stereotypes aren't always true. You are right & thanks - I shouldn't let myself fall under such misconceptions. I think my aunt had something to do w/ it; she likes to match couples...

[Dotti Berry]

The questions being asked are "How can this injustice be fought? How can people be educated? How can the lies of the Religious Right be exposed?"

In answer to "What can we do?" I offer the following. We can look at ourselves as the solution, rather than hoping others will change. Our own transformtion is the basic tenent of soul force principles, and yet we continue to focus on what others are doing, with them being "the problem." I feel it is time we applied the same "criteria" to our own community that we do to others who we feel are not welcoming and inclusive of us. Why do we ask more of others than we do of ourselves? We ask others to take risks that many of our own community are unwilling to take. It is time to call our own GLBTA (yes allies too) community into accountability in the same way that we are calling society to accountability.

What I can tell you that we continue to learn from our journey, Gay Into Straight America, is that the power lies with US, not THEM. Our "fear of their fear" is larger within our GLBTA community (yes, allies too) than the "fear in them about us" that actually exits. We have not yet encountered one situation where people are "against" us. It is time for us to accept that the people to whom we focus so much energy on, although very vocal, are STILL a minority. If we mobilize our GLBT community in addition to the movable middle, we constitute a vocal majority, not a vocal minority. Too many of our potential vocal majority (including our own GLBT community) continue to remain silent and complacent, content to point fingers at "others," those we feel are the conservative bigots. Misguided energy folks! Roby and I feel that most of the people in our community continue to focus in the wrong direction for the solution. Many of us are looking "out there" to others for our empowerment and freedom, when the freedom we are searching for is available "within." When we accept 100% responsibility for creating the life we want, then we will shift and respond in new ways. That in turn will create the shifts in others that we are seeking. It won't happen the other way around. History shows that the courts usually lead the way, and that society lags behind. We are part of that society that lags behind. Let us each be a force to move it forward. Take a look at the article I wrote for the Soulforce website, and remember to "Stand UP Speak OUT...WE are the solution."

[SolInvictus]

Wow - thank you & a great response. I'll check out the article soon.

[Jennifer5]

It may not seem like it but I know that people can be changed... my mom had become friends with this guy online, he ended up to be very anti-gay, he would even meet up with friends from work and make fun of gays. But he was already really good friends with my mom and she said either you respect my point of view or this is good bye. This was a little bit of a wake up call for him, they went through a lot of times where they wouldn't talk to each other. Then he heard her talking to him about my 'uncle' who has AIDS and how she was taking him to the hospital he was really sick... over time he began to realize how rude he was being. Then she told him to go and listen to the song "What it's like" by everlast... (it's a good song if you haven't heard it) ... he payed attention to what she said, he met my uncle... and spent a little time with our family. When he went back home where they were making fun of gay people and when they asked him why he wasn't joining them... he said "It just doesn't seem funny anymore"... since this his life has changed he doesn't make fun of people like that anymore... now before judging he'll find out what's really happening.