Empowerment

[Rainbow kittens]

Hello Everyone,
Just thought we would share a bit of what we as two very different individuals and we as a lesbian couple have been through.
We have both just come out in the last year and a half. Angela is still in the process of telling all of her family members this week.
We really are a funny story. If you have the desire to or want to know the story, (in a nut shell)you may find it helps to empowers you.

I myself (Jade) went through two marriages to men! Why? I hid who I really was. I had deep fears and wanted to please parents and family. I felt as if there was something wrong with me! I had several secret lesbian relationships in my youth and refused to come out! When I finally decided I had to come out to ever be happy and whole; I was still in a heterosexual marriage. No, my ex-Husband did not respond to well to me saying. “Look, we have had serious marriage problem and we are never happy.” “I will never be happy with you.” “Not because you are a bad person, but I am a lesbian.” It took him three days before he could talk to anyone! Ouch! Sorry!
Wow the wonderful things that happen! I was freed! I have three beautiful kids!
My oldest son told me he was Bi and he felt freed. He and I have grown closer. My teenage daughter went to live with “family friends” because I am sinful in her view and will be punished. Not to worry after a little over a year she is now emailing. Hoping to change me to a normal heterosexual Tee Hee lol! I think she will come around. She has a bit more living to do. And Mick is just a little guy full of sweet life and loving the fact that he has two Mommies!
Now, keep in mind we lived in a VERY SMALL Kansas community. With yard after yard full of “save Marriage signs” Angela and I had been best friends and worked for the same Police Department. Yes, we are now the happy couple! Talk about turning this small town upside down! Fellow Officers attempted to get us fired. Thankfully we had a Police Chief that stood up for us. I really think he was afraid he would wake up one morning with a huge group of GLBT people marching down his tiny main street. She and I would go to the local pizza shop and order one coke and two straws. It was interesting watching the restaurant staff fight about who had to wait on us! lol! My ex fought me for custody, I won!
We decided to move to a bit larger area mainly for a better school system. We only moved around four hours away. We are completely open here. She still works in Law Enforcement and I am stating my own business. Our son has seemed to love school here!
No we do not believe there is a church here that understands unconditional love. So, do not have a home church here. Now some of you are still wondering about the empowerment!?
Being open we have empowered ourselves! We are happy and stable. Life is so sweet! We stay in Kansas for a reason. Most GLBT in smaller areas of Kansas are afraid to come out. You know there are people all around you that would watch you being beaten to death and never lift a finger! If there is ever to be a change in the State then we need to stay rooted! We still have neighbors here doing the Walk Across America, save marriage, keep GLBT out of public schools. Blahhh Blahh Blahh
But we have also seen people change by getting to know us. They now stand in our corner. They are now the heterosexual friends that say “hey” give our GLBT friends equal rights!
We are empowered because we are who God made us. We are living our lives in a way that empowers us. It empowers us to help the GLBT community. It empowers us to make new friends. It empowers us to handle stress. It empowers us to be happy.
By being completely open we are empowered to enjoy life. Even if it is just walking hand in hand down the street of a small Kansas College town!
(And hopefully some day walk down the same street a legally married Wife And Wife.)

People can try to be hurtful when you are coming out. Do not empower them. Rather, empower yourself. It worked for us and I think it could help some others.
Love and Peace to all
Jade

[NathanATX]

What a wonderful story, Jade! I grew up Northwest of Tulsa... I've been to Kansas (emphasis on the "an") often.

Check out www.welcomingchurches.com for list of affirming churches. I hope you can find one close to you!

Peace,
nate

[Rainbow kittens]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

What a wonderful story, Jade! I grew up Northwest of Tulsa... I've been to Kansas (emphasis on the "an") often.

Check out www.welcomingchurches.com for list of affirming churches. I hope you can find one close to you!

Peace,
nate

Thank you so much for this link. We were able to find a church a bit over two and a half hours from us. Not possible for every Sunday. It does give us a church for the times we can drive that far!!
Love and Peace
Jade, Angela and Mick

[NathanATX]

Originally Posted by Lesbian family in Kansas

Thank you so much for this link. We were able to find a church a bit over two and a half hours from us. Not possible for every Sunday. It does give us a church for the times we can drive that far!!
Love and Peace
Jade, Angela and Mick

That's Awesome!!!!

[Vanessa White]

Jade, Angela and Mick: Welcome to the forums! So great to have you here with our "family" of sorts. It is a warm and comforting and inspiring place to be. Your story really struck a chord in me. Not because the details of your experience are similar to my own. The theme of your story- being true to who you really are, standing in that truth, with pride and determination, that can only, in my mind, bring a sense of empowerment to the experience. It also brings such a strong ability to influence persons, for the better, who might otherwise been oppressive or hostile toward a gay person. It sounds like you are making your way as a family and having an impact on your little town as well. Take pride in that, and embrace those feelings of empowerment. Again, welcome to you all, and thanks for the story! Peace and blessings to you, Vanessa

[nowvoyager]

What a story, Kansas!
It's just terrific how healthy you are, though you've been treated to the less kind aspects of people, you seem to keep smiling. You're very inspirational.
I think you're right about something; the more open you are, the more likely you'll bring people around. I don't know how many times I've heard the "She's gay but she's really nice!" comment, from someone previously against us -- its usually their first step toward an open mind. It takes a special kind of dignity to remain open so that this little miracle keeps happening, and you sure have it, honey!

[Rainbow kittens]

Originally Posted by nowvoyager

What a story, Kansas!
It's just terrific how healthy you are, though you've been treated to the less kind aspects of people, you seem to keep smiling. You're very inspirational.
I think you're right about something; the more open you are, the more likely you'll bring people around. I don't know how many times I've heard the "She's gay but she's really nice!" comment, from someone previously against us -- its usually their first step toward an open mind. It takes a special kind of dignity to remain open so that this little miracle keeps happening, and you sure have it, honey!

Thank you, now that you bring in up I am normally smiling. I just never thought about it until you said something! Thank you for all the nice things you had to say. I am human and do make mistakes along the way. I am just me. But, it is nice to have someone say nice things about you! I also find you very inspirational, as I read through your posts.