Frustration regarding inaction

[morningrob]

I hope this does not turn into an angry screed, but I will try my best.
I just came from the second discussion about the UMC judicial council decision regarding the defrocking of a minister and the exclusion of a sexually active gay person from the church. (I realize the proper term should be "practicing" homosexual, but I hate that term. I am not practicing; I'm quite good at it.) I should mention that while I am not a member of the UMC, I am in Grad School and this discussion was part of a larger discussion going on in the Seminary about the decision. While the agenda said that time was going to be spent both discussing theologically the issue, but also practical aspects.

So with 50 minutes of a 70 minute meeting already gone, I brought up the issue of what is going on and why this is important. I reminded people of the real violence that glbtq people face, including my own experiences. I thought this was important because people really wanted to talk about many other things. How this decision is bigger then the gay issue, how this is going to effect the church, how we should just welcome all- you get the idea.

I just started to get angry. So I spoke to what I mentioned in the first paragraph. I got the typical response to what I find in so many liberal circles. We appreciate your point, but we need further discussion in order to educate. I guess my question is how many other people are going to die before people start acting? So another meeting goes by, with more pious platitudes, but nothing really changing.

Well thanks, in advance, for letting me vent. Suggestions as to how to deal with my frustrations would be appreciated. Prayers also.

[keltic63]

I understand your frustration, especially when you feel involved in discussion that actually could bring forth change. I've been involved in my own email campaigns to people/groups that are involved in LGBT issues. I send supportive emails to those who are doing good things for our community, and disapproving (always polite) ones to those who would seek to do us damage. But in a conversation with a friend today, I decided to give myself a break from this until after the new year. She said it was like I was just looking for a fight, and I had to agree that it was causing me a lot of aggravation. I'm not done crusading for the cause, just allowing myself a breather for the holidays, a chance to calm down.

[Zerbie]

I am SO with you about frustration! I've wasted hours being frustrated, having lots of energy to use but with no direction or outlet. Then for you to attend a meeting where nothing really happens, sure it would be frustrating. I've been to some meetings like that, and if that's they way they usually go, I stop going to those meetings and look for others that are more productive. Obviously, your situation is a little different.

The question is, the group you met with, could they have done something about the issues? And did they just not bother? If they are in a position to take some action, such as writing letters to the church in question signed by all committee members, why don't you propose an action to the group? Or two possible actions for the group to consider? If the group at large doesn't act, see if there was another member at the meeting who seemed interested enough to bring the issue up with you at the next meeting, and propose taking action? Just a thought, if it applies.

But I understand needing to vent, too. Go ahead and vent it all out.

[morningrob]

THe group itself is an ad hoc group. I guess my feeling is is that there has been enough letter writing, e-mails, polite discussion, etc.

[themattperry]

Hiya,

I'm with you Rob ... it can be exhausting to speak the truth in the face of inaction. I deal with this all the time in my own life -- particularly as regards my relationship (or lack thereof) with my partner's fundamentalist family. It is difficult extending a hand of friendship when none is extended back your way -- it is difficult speaking the truth to people who are too afraid to recognize it. As you point out, it's also difficult to watch well-meaning people of faith accommodate injustice by doing nothing. (I should know -- I'm Lutheran!)

In any case, I believe -- for me -- God calls me to patience in such situations ... but also to an absolutely steadfast commitment to speak my truth. If I am able to speak the truth in love in all of these situations, then I've done all that I can. This may or may not mean that I am polite, this may or may not mean that I make others feel comfortable, this may or may not mean that I speak at no cost to myself ...

Anyway ... just some thoughts. My prayers are with you ...


Matt

[morningrob]

I think I should mention that I am not talking about conservative Christians. I am talking about a place that would consider itself left of center. It's not the conservatives I am angry about- I know where they are coming from. I am talking about the straight moderate. Perhaps make a reference to King's Letter from a Birmingham Jail about the white moderate.