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Old 08-21-2006, 10:00 AM
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marutidas marutidas is offline
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Exclamation I need some advise,

I, as many of you know live in Stigler,OK(it's a very small town).
I go to mass at a local Catholic church by the name of St. Joseph's.
The good thing about this church is that it has a really good priest Named Father Charlie, he is from India, not only does he teach the scripture, he place importance on cultivating spritituality, and on one occasion he called the other Christians here, Christians without Christ. I get the strong impression that the peeople in this town think just because they go to church, they are getting a free ticket to heaven, like its some sort of privet membership, a backstage pass, so they can be horrible to anyone and everyone, who like me, disagree. This Catholic congrigation seems to be very open minded and at least one of the members knows I am gay, but I am concered about coming out, even though they seem to be the most Liberal Church in town, I know the irony in this sentence.
I really like going to that church but am afraid to come out.
It's like being in the closet again. I am feeling a little clostrophobic

So, I would welcome any advise.
Thanks in advance
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Last edited by marutidas; 08-21-2006 at 11:46 AM.
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Old 08-21-2006, 12:48 PM
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Personally I would suggest just telling individual when the time seems right... and maybe Father Charlie, so that you'll know if you have his support... you may feel a little safer if he knows. Good luck what ever you decide to do!
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Old 08-21-2006, 03:01 PM
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I was thinking along the same lines as Jen. I would come out as it became relevant in some way, but otherwise, just to attend services I wouldn't see a need to do so. Tho Jen raises a good point about finding out if the priest would be supportive.
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Old 08-21-2006, 09:08 PM
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Default Ditto with my girls....

I am definitely supportive when someone wants to live life out, but this environment sounds like it would definitely not be emotionally safe to come out to more than maybe a person or two, that you think may be supportive. For no other reason, than for you to continue to attend that church as you enjoy doing. It could make it very uncomfortable or unwelcoming for you. Peace in your journey, glad you reached out- that is what we are here for! Vanessa
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:27 PM
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Really, I don't know how many options for church exist in Stigler, but I'd say decide whether it causes more pain to be in the closet there, or to possibly come out, & be rejected, considering any risks there might be w/ this.

To me, it eventually became the case that I would be pretty direct about who I am. Take me or leave me. Not the same for everyone, but I found a place that took me, as a Sunday school teacher even.
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Old 08-21-2006, 11:34 PM
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Agree with the ladies on this one (and Brit- sorry I did not see your message at first!). Use your gut like a Geiger counter: get a sense of who would be a safe ally. Telling one person who you think you can trust is the first step towards telling other people. Eventually, when you can stand in your own truth, it won't be so hard or upsetting. And I would encourage you to think about it this way: you are informing rather than asking for permission.
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Old 08-22-2006, 07:53 AM
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Well said, Daniel!
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Old 08-22-2006, 04:08 PM
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I'll second that... well said Daniel
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