The Contemplation of Love

[Dash]

I believe that the contemplation of Love transforms us. I think perhaps this is why we have been made somewhat incomplete...why we are driven by spiritual, emotional and physical needs to bond with another in love. The need...the seeking...the difficulty of living it out...the hope and the despairs of love all draw us into the Divine Heart where our embryonic form grows. There we bloom and change with softer curves, unfurling wings, and ever more brilliant plumage.

What have you learned from love and it's schooling in your life? Here is a thread for your thoughts and insights in love...your reflections on past love...pop songs and poetry that wrenched your soul...bible verses and favorite quotes.

Here in this thread we can contemplate love together and be transformed by each other's love.

I have recently been listening mostly to Unchained Melody...yes, just that one song. I've been known to spend weeks at a time with the CD player on "repeat." Hahah!! I downloaded eleven versions from iTunes and have been reveling in the beauty and the call of those lyrics. I don't know what it is about that particular song, but it touches me every time I hear it. I have The Righteous Brothers, The Supremes, Patti Labelle, LeAnn Rimes, Kenny Rogers, Elvis Presley, Cyndi Lauper, Air Supply, Barry Manilow (shut it!), Willie Nelson, and Harry Belafonte.

(Yeah, yeah...chuckle all you want, see if I care!)

I think that our struggle for rights and acceptance is one of the most important struggles in the history of humanity. All of its focus is on love...the nature of love...the human need for love...loving those who are different than us. Poets and peasants, Kings and hermits have been contemplating and celebrating love for millennia, and now here we are in this twilight age fighting just to be allowed to love!

That’s what I got for the moment...now it's your turn...speak to me of love.

[Zerbie]

First off, our beloved Dash, we love *you.*

Yes, it is about love.

I have learned that if it's really love, it is always right. I've been punished outwardly for acting on the impulse of love, but it's always better for the spirit to have preserved your loving nature, even at cost, than to toss it into an interior prison to gain worldly approval. Better to still have your spiritual selfhood and be wounded and battered outside, than to preserve the outside at the loss of your central being. FAR better. Insist on Love, and Love will protect you, even if "only" on the inner level. That's the one level that really matters.

Regards the struggles for equality. . .oh my. I remember being 6 or 7 years old when figuring out all this anti-gay garbage and I distinctly remember the moment when I discovered that homosexuals were hated: "The world hates them because they *love* each other. What kind of a world *is* this??" I saw the Spirit of Love itself hated and spit upon. Then I resolved inwardly to follow the spiritual law and love my gay neighbors (and myself and possible future girlfriend if I should turn out to someday have one) despite the messages I was being taught by my parents and society. I just remember being little and *remembering* that such was the law of the spirit.

(and I wondered how long it would be until I found others "like me." Thanks to all Soulforce friends for finally letting me find you. )

Love you, Dash.

[Jennifer5]

I never know how to put into words how much I love every one of you. I'm never good with words and only know what I feel... I just know that every time I feel down, when someone is sending a hug your way you can really feel it and those things make all the difference. It seems as though the love (here particularly) just seems completely unreal and amazing

[Dash]

Whenever I speak of these things with my friends I cry, "Unrequite is the purest form of love!"

[Jabs his finger in the air for emphasis]

Hahaha!! Whether or not it is true, I really can't say, but as a long-suffering student under her fierce tutelage these many years, I can say that there is indeed much to be learned from her.

Unrequite has come to me again and again since I began to seek love (really only for the last 10 years or so, you know) to say, "Look, but do not touch. Love, but never possess."

Or perhaps, "Love, even though you may not touch, nor ever possess."

I have studied the art of letting go of all I loved, without ever holding it in my hand. I have understood the bond of faithfulness that will not let me go, even though the one to whom I must be faithful can never return my love. Yes! Even Unrequite is faithful to the object of its affection, and will not be swayed by many temptations, for it is as true as any other love. A thousand rejections do not wash away the pangs of Unrequite, nor will its eternal flames cease their burning.

Today, I found one of my dear unrequited loves online. It was the late 90's after I had graduated from college and was working at a frameshop. He was the first person for whom my immense potential for adoration (with which I was generally acquainted) connected with physical desire (which was somewhat a stranger to me). It was like second puberty! God! What a terrible and wonderful agony! I could not be around him without becoming aroused. I laugh to remember my sad state as I literally ran around the frame tables while he innocently followed me--obliviously chatting while I tried to hide the furious pitching of my tent. Hahah!!!

I did not always write doleful verse, you know! For him I penned the following lyrics:

___________________

I am passion with a voice!
Oh, give to me your ear.
You...you shall be jewelry for my face
a sweet adornment to wear.
To love you (such pain) a pleasure is
(and I know what to give an ear...)

Forgive me, that I make a show,
for drunk am I with love and bliss.
Inebriate! And, too, you know
I've never worn such dress as this.
____________________

Do you know? Do you know?
Dearest, Oh! Do you know
that I love you—Oh, that I love?
Do you know?

Speak, O my love! Mercy and speak!
Love, sweet pity! have mercy and speak!
Your beautiful lips—they close on my world.
I beg at those gates for blessings of peace.
Sweet murmuring blessings...
Soft brushings...
Of peace.
_______________________

Alas...no sweet brushings of peace for me...

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12)

Yes...yes...he was a pot-smokin', nose-ring wearin', tattoo sportin' bleached blond bad boy who knew Lao Tzu, and recommended that I read Desmond Morris' book the Naked Ape. We connected from the moment he boldly grabbed my gaze along with his firm handshake. He never stopped talking about sex and philosophy, except to occasionally make some crass comment about homosexuality, which would toss me over the brink into vast emptiness.

You see, he knew who I was, and I knew who he was. One long evening conversation on my porchstep with Nat Sherman cigarettes and revelations revealed what I thought was the source of our connection. He could never explain why he would say those terrible things, and love taught me that you can't let someone abuse you. I left that job and our passionate quarreling, but my unrequited love still bursts into flame now and then.

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

(Song of Soloman 8:6-7)

Such are the lessons I have learned from Unrequited Love.

[SolApollo]

I agree with and also love each and everyone here in this forum. We are an online family and church. Love is so powerful...

To quote Celine Dion, "love can move mountains..."
From Moulin Rouge, "all you need is love!...Love lift us up where we belong."
Love conquers evil - love is the strongest force in the world - truly, I believe it. Love, if true and unconditional, can transform hatred into love.

Being in love is wonderful too. I wrote poetry to my ex-bf frequently. Ah, it was great, and I hope to fall in love w/ Mr. Right soon or whenever it happens.

Peace Out.

[Daniel]

I've been rehearsing the opera Semele by Handel, the famed gay composer, which may explain why this idea of all consuming love is on my mind. In the opera, Semele asks Jupiter to reveal himself to her in all his glory. He does. She dies. And the chorus sings:

Oh, terror and astonishment!
Nature to each allots his proper sphere,
But that forsaken we like meteors err:
Toss'd through the void, by some rude shock we're broke,
And all our boasted fire is lost in smoke.

I've been in the kind of love where the presence of my beloved (and it's interesting how, in the moment, 'my' is better termed 'the'- that which can not be possesed) was presaged with a palpable sensation of two sphere's of energy meeting in a blaze of energy- a veritable pillar of fire felt between bodies- interpenetrating flesh and bone- sounding out to the universe and back with the cry: this is all that ever was and is and shall be.

Living in that Presence? Well. It seems that's an entirely different matter.

[NathanATX]

Love is a choice, a commitment, an action, a decision... not only a feeling.

"You haven't done anything to earn my love and you couldn't do anything to make it stop." -MarQuis Hunt to his wife

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

Love is a choice, a commitment, an action, a decision... not only a feeling.

Yes. I agree whole-heartedly with you.

Practices like the Jesus Prayer ( I was introduced to this practice by a friend who became a brother in the Orthodox Church) really do seem to address the matter in such terms: one practices getting the head down into the heart-as it were- 'thinking' with heart- from which the best choices and actions can then arise. Ancient monastic Christianity is not alone in this, the Tibetans have similar methods.

[marutidas]

My thoughts are this, I more than anyone here has contimplated Death.
Many see it as an abomination, to tear the ones they loved from them. They feel empty without that person, but think how much your life has been enrich by having the honor and priviledge to know them, even for a short time.
My response is this, What would Love mean, if Death was not there to deepen it. To make every moment more precious than gold and silver. For we know not when the end comes for us, so we hold on to our loved ones with all our might, secretly hoping againts hope that it never ends.
Love also means for me that you feel for the loss of others, even for people you will never meet. To never be indifferent to suffering, to shed tears for, to laugh with, to live with all your Heart for your fellow being. Living in the shared burden of Transcient existece.
My thoughts on Unrequited Love are,
Life is to short to wonder "what if". The true sting is not if we are rejected by the object of our affection, true torment lies in not knowing.

Our Heart, Our soul, truely shines in the presence of Love, but when Love is lost we become cold and shut ourselves off from the pain and hurt and the possiblity of being hurt agian. I weep with all my heart for a being, that has forgotten how to Love.
Those who fear Love, Fear Life, and those who fear Life are already 3/4 dead.

As for myself, the only thing I fear about Death is that I will not find someone to Love with all my heart, someone for I could bear the deepest recesses of my Soul too, before the end.
A secret selfishness that I bear, for I have seen True Love, in the eyes of others, and feel the emptiness my heart. A hole that could only be filled by the Love another. I fear being forgotten.

I speak like this not because I am soon to die, But because no one knows when Death comes for them.

..."She draws them close...From the darkness I hear the beating of mighty wings...
Why do they fear the sunless lands? It is as natural to die as it is to be born, but they fear her. Dread her. Feebly they attempt to placate her. They do not Love her".
Dream of the Endless, talking about his sister, Death of the Endless, from the Sandman by Neil Gaiman.

By the Contemplation of Death, I have truely learned the Fruits of Love.

[Vanessa White]

I first, have to say, as many of you have, how much love I have for all of you. Love that comes from a deep place in my soul of connection, and human kindness, giving, and sharing. Some of the core values of my being are also embodied in all of you, and it reflects back to me. Thank you for that. Next, I have to say, to my darling Dash, if I were male, gay or not, I would definitely fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with you. You are such a pure soul, and your words just make me drop my jaw as I sit here alone in the dark and read your posts. I hope that I do get to meet you in person someday, just to be able to give you a huge, warm embrace.

Love, love, love (All You Need is Love- my beloved Beatles). I have to agree with Dash as well, although i have not downloaded various versions of the tune, I did hear Unchained Melody last weekend on the radio for the first time in years. It brought me to tears, because it speaks to where my heart and head are in relation to love right now. I am very philosophical about love right now, what it all means, what is in store for me next, how it will show itself to me, how long do I have to wait (I tend to be impatient about things like that). What I know deeply about myself, is that no matter how many times I have been hurt because of romantic love, or had my heart broken, I know that I crave the bigger hit of love the next time- Even though I don't want to be hurt again, I cannot turn from it- I am drawn to the idea of it, including romantic visions of what may be. I envision what I like to call "Full body slam love"- two souls so closely connected to one another, it is like two hand palms being face to face with one another. And, yet, two hands side by side one another, with only the thumbs touching. Together, as intimately as can be, yet separate beings as well. Today, I have counted the many blessings of love that I have had, and now have in my life. I am truly grateful. I may not have romantic love in my life right now, but when I do, I believe it will be so overwhelming and intense that I cannot imagine it even now. Love to you all, V.

[marutidas]

True love is a durable fire,
In the mind ever burning,
Never sick, never dead, never cold,
From itself never turning.

From an anonymous poem of the 16th. Cent.

If I should think of love
I'd think of you, your arms uplifted,
Tying your hair in plaits above,
The lyre shape of your arms and shoulders,
The soft curve of your winding head.
No melody is sweeter, nor could Orpheus
So have bewitched. I think of this,
And all my universe becomes perfection.
But were you in my arms, dear love,
The happiness would take my breath away,
No thought could match that ecstasy,
No song encompass it, no other worlds.
If I should think of love,
I'd think of you.

A sonnet from William Shakespeare, enjoy

[Vanessa White]

The absolute beauty of words, speaking about love, overwhelms me. Thank you, all.

[Dash]

You all are great! I have loved reading everything here!

[marutidas]

Originally Posted by Vanessa White

Love that comes from a deep place in my soul of connection, and human kindness, giving, and sharing. Some of the core values of my being are also embodied in all of you, and it reflects back to me.

Is Love accepting the relfection we are shown, revealing how beautiful we can truely be? And is Hate, the denial of such reflection and denying that such beauty can live in another?

People who are filled with hate for a long time, become accustom to it. It becomes like a second skin, comfortable in their bitterness and resentment.
And they don't know any other way to live.
I pitty them.

[Dash]

I woke up a week or so ago thinking about hands. Of all the power centers in our body, they seem to me to be the most "directional." (The eyes are another element that focuses and directs our spirit.)

Holding hands with the one you love (a simple thing that is essentially denied gay people in most public places) joins our spirits in a powerful exchange of love. Touch your lover or your friend, and like the woman grasping Jesus' garment, power flows between the two of you.

I had a dream not too long ago, where my friend (and occasional object of my eternal unrequite) reached over to my chair and held my hand...hidden behind the armrest where none could see. I heard the German words, "Gib mir die Hand, dass ich sie heimlich drükke." (Give me your hand, that I may secretly hold it. ~from the song "Allerseelen.") I immediately awoke in a blissful state as if he had just then expressed all I most desired to hear. Ahhh love... Even far from me, it causes me to smile.

[Once when recounting such a dream of love to my dear pastor and counselor, I said, "I feel sad that it didn't actually happen."

"Oh, but that's not true!" She replied quickly...looking intently into my eyes. "It did happen. It happened within you."]

* * *

Now...

Take your hands and stretch them out in front of you, palm up...tilted perhaps a little toward yourself. Now look out onto the world and feel your supplication shift the flow toward yourself. You are for the moment, humble and needy. Sense the child pleading inside. You become the valley toward which all waters flow. In such a posture, all that you need will surely find you.

Now...palms still up, tilt your hands more forward and away from you...perhaps spreading your arms a bit to open up the path to your heart. As you look again onto the world, feel all the beauty and love that you have inside flowing out to all in need. Now you have become the blessed hill from which healing streams descend.

My hands taught me this lesson before I hauled myself off to work, and I realized in a flash how wrong I had been before in a thread began by our beloved Bishop, whose presence is sorely missed:

Originally Posted by Dash (in Canadians And Americans - A Difference In Strategy And Outcomes)

Somewhere along the way, [Unchained Melody] became my hymn to God... God's hymn to me... It is our cry for our husbands and wives... It is our cry for the love of our Church, and our families... our cry for the love of our brothers and sisters...

God speed it to us.

See...I had been thinking how much I desire the love of those who oppose us...

Hello!!! They don't have any of that to give me or us! There is no point in adopting a suppliant posture toward those who do not have the wealth I seek. That is not to say anti-gay Christians or people are incapable of love...just that they don't have it for us...despite what they say or think on that matter. We can really only present ourselves as supplicants to those actually have a wealth that can meet our needs, whether it is the Divine Spirit, or Wisdom, or Truth, or...authentic Love.

If the suppliant posture is not appropriate toward our opponents, who have nothing we desire, can the benevolent posture replace it? Is it appropriate to adopt a posture of beneficence--offering treasures from the wealth of our abundant love for each other toward those who have no taste for it? Instead of seeking our rights in the world, and the world's acceptance, is it that we have what they need, and we must give it to them?

I'd appreciate your thoughts.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Dash

See...I had been thinking how much I desire the love of those who oppose us...

Hello!!! They don't have any of that to give me or us! There is no point in adopting a suppliant posture toward those who do not have the wealth I seek. That is not to say anti-gay Christians or people are incapable of love...just that they don't have it for us...despite what they say or think on that matter. We can really only present ourselves as supplicants to those actually have a wealth that can meet our needs, whether it is the Divine Spirit, or Wisdom, or Truth, or...authentic Love.

If the suppliant posture is not appropriate toward our opponents, who have nothing we desire, can the benevolent posture replace it? Is it appropriate to adopt a posture of beneficence--offering treasures from the wealth of our abundant love for each other toward those who have no taste for it? Instead of seeking our rights in the world, and the world's acceptance, is it that we have what they need, and we must give it to them?

Dash- Hands down- an amazing post! You touch on something that I think about a lot- that is- the nature of love itself- and it's meaning. I have thought more and more that love isn't something that can be given or gotten- as it were- a commodity- a thing- an object- given by objects to other objects. This may sound like some weird esoteric ramblings perhaps, but I have the sense that love- whatever it is- is summoned or sparked into being by the focus of one's desire/longing/intention and mirrored in the presence of an Other. I wonder if we fool ourselves by thinking we are getting something from over there- the trickery of mind perhaps- which cannot easily intuit what is, and isn't, of real Substance.

Perhaps we must dig our wells deep so that they never run dry and teach others to do the same. It's all the same water though, no matter where it bubbles up. That's how I see it. 'Your' water. 'My' water. "My' love. "Your" love. Take the ego out of it and what do you have?

Water.

Bottle it and put a label on it. It's still water.

I know. I know. By making it water, I've turned it into an object.

Sigh.

That's the problem with duality.

Then there is the gnostic thought (horrors!) which states that "You can't give what you don't have."

Yes. I know. The word 'have' sounds transactional.

Sigh.

Another duality problem.

Maybe one can figure this out by listening to the sound of a non-dripping faucet.

[Vanessa White]

I have thought on this before, Dash, about whether or not we do have something, in the love that we share in couples and community, that they do not have. Is that part of the anger, disgust, negative, hostile attitude with which many of them treat us? Do we represent to them something that they lack, therefore in a way, resenting us for having it? I do know that much about human behavior, in what angers or upsets people. Often times, throughout my current process of grief and sadness over my relationship coming to an end, my ending of it, the persons that offer me the least amount of support and encouragement are most often those persons who find themselves wishing that they were doing the same thing- ending a relationship that has long been over. Possibly the same reason that many persons, before they come to terms with their own LGBT orientation, express themselves as some of our biggest enemies, and seem to have such loathing for gay persons. I also know, that when I first started to really, COME OUT, I mean, really feel good about it when I would tell someone, whether friend or family member, the more purely that declaration came from deep in my soul, the less that they could appear to be uncomfortable with it. I mean, there are not many human beings that don't want that love, embrace, connection with someone. It helps us all to feel whole, connected, real. And, your hands, Dash- thank you for that. Hands and eyes are what many of my images are about, when I think about connecting and healing and sending energy one person to another. It makes so much sense! Thank you, with love and peace, Vanessa

[Dash]

Daniel...Vanessa...you gave me a thought...

Our Love is without meaning in their world of answers;
It gives no explanation for Itself or Its coming;
It submits to no test, suffers no condemnation
and offers no advice for Its beneficiaries.

It is not procreative and ties no lines of blood;
It scorns the approval of parents and state;
It is born before sacrament and without oath
and asks no blessing but the one It gives.

Our Love eludes their laws and steals us away
for Its own sake--sealing us in Its vaults
as Its treasure and private consolation.

It makes Its way like a vagabond prince
with neither country nor crown nor army,
yet who can subdue It or call It to account?

[Vanessa White]

That says it all. Thanks.

[Dash]

Here's something I read this morning. (Thanks to Daniel for introducing me to Rumi)

Gamble everything for love,
if you're a true human being.

If not, leave
this gathering.

Half-heartedness doesn't reach
into majesty. You set out
to find God, but then you keep
stopping for long periods
at mean-spirited roadhouses.

~Rumi