reason for meeting?

[Jennifer5]

Have you ever met someone, and maybe you didn't even know them much more than a month or so... but they seem to have some huge impact on your life.... Why do some people do this to you? There isn't really anything special about, at least that you can tell... but you can't forget them... no matter how much you may want to....

What does this mean? Why do some people have that effect?

[NathanATX]

Absolutely.

A couple years ago, I met this guy who was visiting at church. I immediately had a STRONG premonition/sense/knowing that he was going to be a powerful part of my life. Today he's one of my best friends, a mentor, confidante, and guide. He's incredibly deep spiritually as he's studied with Christian mystics, Hindu monks, Buddhist priests, etc... I have grown tremendously since knowing him.

[Jennifer5]

What about those people who you don't know for very long? Or that you hardly ever get to talk to? How is it that they continue to have an impact on you?

[Dash]

There are two people whom I credit as having the most impact in helping me accept myself as a gay person...both people that I did not know. Their touch was subtle but their influence was profound. I met one of them last night...

Danny Roberts was the token gay on Real World 9, New Orleans. I never watched the Real World before that season, nor did I after. But as I watched that handsome, normal guy with a boyfriend, I found a gay person with whom I could identify. He was country (Georgia-born) and laid back...everything I had grown up with on the farm.

Last night he was on the Northwestern campus to speak to the Rainbow Alliance. Perhaps it was a bit backward to meet him long after the effect his life had on mine, but ultimately the math returns the same result: I barely know him, but he has meant worlds to me. (And all you mockers can just shut it! My hero is a boy from a trashy MTV show...so what! :P ) His smile about knocked me down when I was talking to him and getting his autograph!

It was the fulfillment of a long-held hope for me to thank him for being "out" on that show, and being so comfortable with himself. It was truly a watershed moment for me that left all my self-hatred behind me.

There remains one more person to thank...

P.S.--Perhaps the power of another person's effect is rooted in our innate love of our own beautiful being, and the extent to which we can see that beauty reflected back at us in the mirror of them, our healers.

[Zerbie]

All the time, Jen.

Many times I've seen someone and at the very first moment I knew who they were and what our relationship would be in the future.

To answer another of your questions, one doesn't need to be in the immediate physical vicinity in order to "touch" someone emotionally, psychically. Some may laugh at me for recalling the sentimentalism of Jonathon Livingston Seagull, but I always greatly enjoyed that book. Though I haven't picked it up in 10 years, I recall the line where, upon parting from a friend to go to distant shores, Jonathon explains to his friend that one does not need to remain side by side in physical proximity in order to continue friendship.

Dash - you just reminded me of something the first Great Love of my life said to me the very day we met:

Looking me in the eyes she said very softly, "When you see something beautiful in someone else. . .it's in you."

[Mia14]

There are definitely people in life that you meet and something clicks in your mind saying "Wow, I am definitely supposed to be right here right now meeting this person because things are going to happen." I'm not talking in a romantic way, but something deeper to me than just friendship.

I have friends who I talk to on the phone and hang out with and watch movies, but then there are people who I have a heart-to-heart with every time we meet. I think of the second group as more of an extended family than just friends because I'll be close to them even if we don't talk for a while.

Vanessa fits in this group for me. I also have a friend in Jersey who fits there. She was my best friend in high school and we don't talk as much now, but when we talk it's like no time has passed and we've connected again. There's a woman I babysit for, too, who I have the same deeper connection with and her children are also extended family - and I love dropping in with little gifts here and there as if they're my nephews or some other relative.

These people aren't friends, not family, but like a chosen extended family. Sometimes you meet people for a reason.

It's like God gives you half your family in the beginning and sprinkles the other half throughout your life for you to find.

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by Mia14

There are definitely people in life that you meet and something clicks in your mind saying "Wow, I am definitely supposed to be right here right now meeting this person because things are going to happen." I'm not talking in a romantic way, but something deeper to me than just friendship.

I have friends who I talk to on the phone and hang out with and watch movies, but then there are people who I have a heart-to-heart with every time we meet. I think of the second group as more of an extended family than just friends because I'll be close to them even if we don't talk for a while.

Vanessa fits in this group for me. I also have a friend in Jersey who fits there. She was my best friend in high school and we don't talk as much now, but when we talk it's like no time has passed and we've connected again. There's a woman I babysit for, too, who I have the same deeper connection with and her children are also extended family - and I love dropping in with little gifts here and there as if they're my nephews or some other relative.

These people aren't friends, not family, but like a chosen extended family. Sometimes you meet people for a reason.

It's like God gives you half your family in the beginning and sprinkles the other half throughout your life for you to find.

I think that's closer to what I was thinking... I don't know though.... the random (not quite stanger, but almost) person can have such a weird impact on your life, one that can't be understood.

[Vanessa White]

Hey Jen: It sounds like this is something that is reflective of something recent going on for you, so share whatever you can if you need to process. For me, I think I realized years ago that EVERY single person who comes into my life, in either a fleeting way or permanently, was to be in my life at the time of my life. It helped me to realize that I would not be who I am today if it hadn't happened exactly the way it has, even the painful stuff. However, that being said, I often don't know the real purpose or reason for a person coming into my life, even if it feels like really important and impacting, I might not see the significance for a long time after I have met the person. I guess what I would say to you in that regard is, I always take the cue when I cannot figure it out, that I have to LET GO and TRUST that the reason will come to light in its own good time. I agree with all that has been said so far, that there are people that I never meet, or am not always likely to meet, like Dash's experience, yet impact me significantly. There are those that I have been close to in years past, and reenter my life unexpectedly, yet in a timely way. There are those, like Mia, whom I only talk deeply and thoughtfully with (like Mia!) when we get together, and even if we can easily identify having a connection, it is not always clear why that person is in my life. What I have always struggled with as a lesbian, is the nature of my relationships with women in general. The idea of "best friend" seems to get kinda murky, because some women that I have had a deep connection with in the past, who have become friends of mine, it has also occurred to me that if the connection is so deep, should it be something more than friendship? I now look at that very closely, and I have begun to see the differences, even though subtle at times, between those I call friends, and those that I would like to be more involved with than friends. Does all of that make sense? I really have increased my level of trust in God in the last few months, that even if I can't see his plan right now, it doesn't mean he doesn't have one for me. So, I just have to wait to see what happens next! It feels good to be back, all. Love ya Jen, vanessa

[Jennifer5]

What you said makes complete sense Vanessa.

It's just these two guys...

One that I knew for probably a few months, about 2-3 years ago, he had some issues.. he ended up leaving our area and last heard was running from the FBI, who I'm sure found him by now.. but for no apparent reason every now and then, I find myself saying I wondering if he's ok, where he is... which doesn't make any sense, he was my brother's friend, I didn't even know him that well, he only lived with us for a week or two... but he's one that I often wonder about, and wonder why I'm to curious about where he is now.

Then there is this other guy, who I met just at the beginning of September, he worked at my school for about 4 weeks... so I guess I knew him for about 4 weeks.... but for some reason I felt some weird connection. What was it? How do I know why? What is the reason that this guy was in my life for a month before the program was discontinued and I may or may not ever see him again. Why do I even care?

I don't know these guys that well.... why do I even care? and why can't I stop caring even when I want to?

[Vanessa White]

Are there reasons that it is important for you to stop caring? Think about it that way for a time and see what you come up with. Caring simply means that this person affected you in some way, significant or not, and you wonder about his well being. Sounds pretty human and compassionate to me. Try not to, if you can, bombard yourself with the WHYS of it, because why questions usually turn out disastrous for ourselves, because we can often not answer them. There must be a reason that may not be known to you yet. Caring is a wonderful quality that you possess that you should take pride in. Let me know your thoughts. Miss you Jen- Vanessa

[Jennifer5]

Thanks Vanessa, I think that covers it. I'll just stop worrying about it... I guess caring about these guys isn't that big a deal. I just kinda wish I could stop thinking about it, it seems like they aren't in my life anymore I shouldn't care... but maybe it really doesn't matter.

Miss you to Vanessa, I'm trying to make more and more time to be around here.

[zimnah]

I've been lucky enough to meet a few people like that. I've often wondered if it is due to their charisma, or my own belief that, in some way, our souls already knew each other.

Jewish culture has this concept of "basheert." The common translation for this is "destiny," which would work, except that we were created with free will, so that pretty much shoots down the destiny theory. Basheert is the concept that each soul is created as two halves, which are released upon the earth in the hope that the halves will find one another and become one again. (Interestingly enough, I've never come across anything that says the halves are one female and one male)

Given this idea, I don't think it would be too far-fetched to suggest that, in some way, some of us just know each other, soul to soul, before we physically meet. Perhaps our souls do return to earth in an effort to get it right before the coming of the Messiah.

Or, it could simply be that we see the manifestation of our own potential in the eyes of that person, and they in ours. Either way, it does seem as if our souls are speaking without our minds knowing it.

PS: Zerbie, I LOVE Jonathan Livingston Seagull! Like you, I read it many years ago, but I've never forgotten it. Most of my friends simply roll their eyes and say something like, "oh, puh-leeaaaase!" when I've mentioned it...now I have to find it and read it again