My Birthday gift... Frank Worthen's This Way Out

[aftercomingout]

When I woke up... My mom gave me an advanced birthday gift... I didn't know how to react... It is a book by Frank Worthen... This Way Out. I was just left dumb founded because I didn't know what to say... I didn't want to make her feel bad again... or worse make her rage again. I scanned through the book and it's about how to get out of homosexuality...
My mom wrote me a short letter with the book... She told me that when we went to the bookstore, she wasn't intending to buy me this book. She suddenly just saw it... Not knowing that it was actually a book about homosexuality. Of course my mom interpreted it as the work of our Lord... And I don't blame her for that as she is a very religious Catholic woman. She'll probably, in the future, be on the verge to prove to herself more that there is no way that she can accept her daughter's homosexuality...
How do I react to this book? I'll be reading it more thoroughly tomorrow... I wanted to somehow respond by giving her something that would give her another view on things...
I could give that to her as her advanced birthday gift as well... After all, our birth dates are only a few days apart.

[Zerbie]

I'm sorry. That must make you feel terrible. What a sad "birthday gift."

I don't know what to suggest to you.

[kara speltz]

Originally Posted by aftercomingout

How do I react to this book? I'll be reading it more thoroughly tomorrow... I wanted to somehow respond by giving her something that would give her another view on things...
I could give that to her as her advanced birthday gift as well... After all, our birth dates are only a few days apart.

What about, "Stranger At the Gate - to be gay and christian in America," by Mel White? It's an eye opener for so many people. It's been 10 years since it first came out and time and time again, we get letters that say this book saved my life.

kara

[aftercomingout]

Originally Posted by kara speltz

What about, "Stranger At the Gate - to be gay and christian in America," by Mel White? It's an eye opener for so many people. It's been 10 years since it first came out and time and time again, we get letters that say this book saved my life.

kara

Thanks Kara! I just hope that my mom won't react angrily when I give that to her... Of course, I'll be reading it first.
I never thought that my mom would bring up that topic again. I just pray that this may be a "blessing in disguise" as this gave me a chance to probably share more about the issue.

Thank you so much guys!

[Dash]

I give my parents books all the time, but I'm much more subtle than your mother was. (Oy!) I figure that if I give them almost anything that is more than the standard contemporary Christian writings they'll at least be looking outside that tiny world. Over the last few years my mother has become a fan of Annie Proulx, and my father and I have discussed Plato's Symposium and Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. Most recently, I was blown away to find out that my mother had been reading (and enjoying) Faulkner. I haven't even tackled Faulkner!!

I share with them things that I genuinely love...things that changed me...and I try to share my enthusiam with them.

Whatever you do, just be strong in knowing yourself and loving yourself. Then you can share that love and knowledge with your mother. That's a good gift, and its sincerity will surely bring powerful change.

[Emproph]

Originally Posted by aftercomingout

I never thought that my mom would bring up that topic again. I just pray that this may be a "blessing in disguise" as this gave me a chance to probably share more about the issue.

That’s kind of what I was thinking, that since she initiated it, or was ‘lead’ to initiate it, that provides you with the opportunity to continue communication on it.

There’s plenty on the internet about him, he’s supposedly one of the founders of the whole ex-gay movement.

I went to his site to look for discrepancies. There are several articles and it doesn’t seem hateful or political like Exodus, Focus’ LWO, or Narth, but it does link to those sites. What I did read though, was the same ambiguous terms in regard to “change” and “leaving homosexuality.” Other than that the arguments are pretty much the same, and you’ve been around here enough to know that there’s plenty of facts and evidence to refute them.

So if your mom is reasonable I would definitely encourage discourse. I would also definitely recommend Wayne Besen’s “Anything But Straight” to get educated on the Ex-gay movement. It’s an excellent overview of it’s nefarious beginnings and abysmal failure.

So the facts are all out there, you’ve got truth on your side, it just might take a bit of finesse in presenting it/them to someone who may be resistant.


Hope it goes well.

[aftercomingout]

Now... I'm bit scared and confused if I actually should say something to my parents... My mom just told me that I should already be reading the book... Well, here's how she said it... (rough transcription and translation from taglish-> tagalog + english in our country)
I hope that you're already reading the book that I gave you at that you'll be able to finish it. I know that this is a battle between good and evil. I just hope and pray that you're choice will be good for you're soul... because if we only choose to satisfy the flesh, it's only going to be temporary. I'm just helping you to see the light... You know that God gave us free will for us to choose good or bad. I hope that you pray about this.
I said in reply that I'll be reading the book again in awhile... I told her that I know what she's talking about and I always do try to learn more about things. I told her that really have to be educated in a lot of issues and that's why I'm willing to read the book. Then I told her as well that's it's really good when people are also willing to listen to your side of the story...
Here's how she replied... There are people that will only believe the things that they want to hear or the things they want to happen. They always give reasons if they don't like what the others say. No explanation is enough for them to see the truth because it does not adhere to their beliefs... Please don't be close minded so that the Lord could still enter your heart...
I was taken a back by her statement with regard to being close- minded. I firmly believe that I am not close minded. I go through and ponder on what they tell me... I research a lot to learn more about the subject. But for her... She didn't even finish reading my letter... She didn't want to accept or even go through anything that would directly tackle the issue in my perspective. It's sad because... What she's saying is quite hypocritical...
I am not an expert on these issues but I read numerous stuff (from both sides) with regard to the issue of homosexuality... as well as the ex- gay movement.
How I wish that there would be a really fair documentary that would present both sides... and then we let the people decide on which side is more truthful and credible...

[Zerbie]

Oh I'm so sorry!

Here.

Keep doing what you are doing: listening, reading, studying, contemplating on your own. Whatever you decide to say to your mother, let it be your own truth.

All the best to you along the way.