An Interfaith Response to Focus on the Family’s NARTH

[revtj]

We had a fantastic press conference today which included Besen, a PFLAG mom who nearly made me cry, an ex-ex-gay who says his experience with Nicolosi has caused him to want nothing to do with religion ever again, an out African American pastor, & 2 civil rights leaders. Whew! And we've got the protest tomorrow at the church compound in Woodstock, GA. Please remember us in your prayers.

Here is the print version of a statement I released for media:

First of all I would like to say that Soulforce Atlanta and Truth Wins Out respect the constitutional right that we share with FOF & NARTH which makes it possible to have a civil debate about the issues we care about so much. Our goal is not to be intolerant of NARTH or FOF but to challenge the misinformation and non-truth which have repeatedly been demonstrated to be a pivotal point of NARTH and FOF’s anti-gay agenda.

A NARTH spokesman recently published an article suggesting an ‘alternative viewpoint’ to the kidnapping, enslavement and denial of basic human dignity and civil rights of Africans sold into slavery in America. The group says the slaves actually came to a better life in the Americas than they had in Africa. Therefore the millions of enslaved, (not to mention the estimated 14 million who were drowned en route), those forced to sexually procreate for profit, and the selling of their family members so that the African slave family unit could never be cohesive, supportive and therefore threatening to their white owners, somehow represents an ideal of family values to NARTH and FOF.

There is no alternative viewpoint in this opinion. It is white supremacy and it has existed in America since its beginnings. It has been rejected by reasonable people and people of faith repeatedly. It is no mistake that FOF & NARTH are applying this kind of logic to gay families. Their goal is segregation, religiously, psychologically and humanly.

NARTH makes LGBT and questioning people acceptable to their faith communities only if they agree to become something they are not. Gay people are dogged with emotional and religious messages that are wrapped in pseudo-science trying to force them to be what the nice white Christians want them to be.

The tactics of the ex-gay industry have changed dramatically over the last 40 years mostly because none of them work. Genital electric shock, aversive- conditioning therapy sometimes involving pornography, falsifying studies, statistics and numbers deliberately hawked without basis in legitimate research or scientific methodology have caused the ex-gay approach to be rejected by every professional psychological, psychiatric and clinical group except the ones they fund. Even the American Association of Pastoral Counselors rejects their methodology and the premises of their work.

And so the revisionary view of American slavery actually presents us with a good example of how this anti-gay industry approaches history, science, civil rights and the common good. They want to pour everything into an ‘Ozzie & Harriet’ paradigm, and they make an idol out of this kind of cheesy nuclear family. They bear false witness by making up science, revising history and statistics and by inducing testimony from former gays in exchange for payment and prestige within their industry. They covet the money and fortunes of people who are frightened by homosexuality and the so-called gay agenda. They reject any scholarship which would be true to the biblical norms of polygamy and misogyny which saturate the world view out of which the Bible came to us. They exchange the truth for a lie by holding out the impossible task of changing sexual orientation through nothing more than snake-oil religion. They have revised the Bible, science, the family, and faith to suit a mega-money-making anti-gay agenda.



But we are here to proclaim that FOF & NARTH are not our enemies. For many of us, they are misguided brothers and sisters in a faith we hold precious. The enemy is the misinformation, just as it was in the days of slavery. We are determined to expose the truth about this greedy, anti-gay hoax and we wish to do it in peace by speaking the truth in love.

What you see here today is not a multi-million dollar enterprise. We have organized this grass roots campaign with barely a thousand dollars of our own money. But the truth you can hear from those who have been spiritually and psychologically wounded by the anti-gay industry is priceless. We are here to tell our stories because we must tell our stories. We must do it for every gay Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist or confused person who is trying to find out the truth about homosexuality, sexual orientation and gender identity. We represent a virtuous grass roots response to an industry that continues to exploit people with fake research and tenuous testimonies. We are here to speak the truth in love.

Let me turn to the truth claims of NARTH and explain why we reject them. First of all, it is not significant that a homosexual can engage in heterosexual sex if they choose to do this. In fact, we know of many gay people who have lived heterosexual lives only to later come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. We think it is unethical for a clinician to use religion to try and obligate a client to a sexual orientation that does not feel normal to them. We think it is equally unethical to use religion to appeal to baseline fears of sexuality and normalcy in an effort to manipulate a client or patient into stating they prefer any orientation that is uncomfortable to them. Finally, we feel that the rights and dignity of a patient or client have been violated if a clinician makes a promise to a patient or client that they can become another sexual orientation through a mixture of religion and therapies. This promise, we insist, violates every professional standard of conduct, and is tantamount to emotional and spiritual abuse.

But the anti-gay industry says these patients are coming to them already unhappy with their sexual orientation and wanting to change. We do not doubt that this is true in some cases, however, it does not logically follow that because a person is depressed, sexually dysfunctional, or suffering from low self-esteem or oppression sickness, they are therefore to be cured by being magically changed into to a heterosexual. This is misdiagnosis at its worst and quackery at its best.

Soulforce sees the essential problem as misinformation. Human sexuality has only been studied scientifically for a little over 100 years. It is still a taboo subject in many contexts, and deviations from the norm of heterosexuality, possibly as little as 20% of the experiences of a given population, are still being investigated and understood. No one left, right, or center can claim to have final clinical evidence because there is insufficient data. That insufficiency feeds myth and stereotype and ends up being the trump card of the ex-gay hoax.

That celibacy is an option for people seeking spiritual insight and objectivity about their own sexual behavior is something affirmed by numerous religious traditions and admittedly can be an enhancement to clinical therapy around sexual identity issues. However, the forced obligation of abstinence is not the same as the ancient spiritual discipline of celibacy. To frighten a client or patient into abstinence, using their own doubts and misinformation as support, is emotionally risky. Even with the client’s permission and willingness, abstinence imposed under religious threat must be considered unethical and an abuse of the patient-client relationship.


We seek to match NARTH’s misinformation and the damage it does with information. We do not seek to censor any alternatives including the possibilities of bisexuality with a given preference for one sex or the other, or the gift of celibacy as it is seen by the longstanding traditions of the world’s religions. We need only mention in passing the thousands of happy, well-adjusted homosexuals, bisexuals and transgender folk who fly under the radar every day. But with every option on the table, we demand that NARTH cease and desist from unethical manipulation of information in the treatment of patients. We insist that the practices of physical, spiritual and emotional abuse be deemed prosecutable as unethical conduct for any clinician or practitioner, religious or otherwise. These are merely the same standards duly trained and credentialed professionals would be held to in any other public or private practice with clients.

Finally, Soulforce affirms that there is indeed divine liberation for LGBT and questioning people, and that liberation is now and always will be rooted in authentic rational, reasonable, scientific research. Jesus asked, “Who among you, when your child asks for bread, would give them a stone?” We are here to testify that many of us tried to eat that stone we were given, and only after great struggle and confusion, we found instead the Bread of Life, the Logos, the Divine logic ordained by God and pursued by westerners since the early questioning of the Greek philosophers to the rise of science and medicine following the Enlightenment, and we have tasted and we have seen, that the truth is good. We may not be visible to people who aren’t looking to find us, but we are happy, well-adjusted and gay, many of us strong people of faith, and we will not be silent while lies destroy people’s spirits and their lives.

We must turn the stones NARTH is giving our children and our families into the bread of truth by witnessing to the truth and by exposing the stone for exactly what it is: dead dogma, insufficient to support life and perpetuate love.

Thank you and God Bless you.

[suzer1013]

Hey everyone! RevTJ did a fabulous job today, and all Soulforcers would have been proud to see him at the press conference. I'm exhausted -- it's been a long day, and we've got an early morning tomorrow. I'm going to send TJ the pics I took at some point tomorrow so he can post them here as he wishes. I took a ton of them, and got a few good ones (that's my tactic -- I'm not much of a photographer, so I just take a whole bunch and there's bound to be a few good ones!). Just too tired now to do it.

Please send us prayers of love and support tomorrow!

Blessings...

Susan

[Dash]

I'm delighted to hear that beautiful Voice ringing through you, revtj!

Nicely...beautifully done!

[Emproph]

It's happening right now. Saturday, 11-4-06, 9AM

Originally Posted by revtj

Please remember us in your prayers.

I'm not in prayer mode, so let's keep this going..

~~~

God Bless them and their protest, everyone involved. We ask that your blessing be on them and their/our protest.

We ask also that you bless all those attending the conference today and especially those who are running it... today... right now.

We ask that truth be exposed. For the best of all concerned.

Thank You, -You are already there with them.

~~~
(You're welcome to expound on that.)

[marutidas]

It does my heart good to see this happen,
To see people of different of faiths working together for a common goal.

I will send all the good thoughts and energy I can.
May find help from where ever you need it.
I will keep you in my prayers.


RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM

[suzer1013]

The rally went well, and though I'm too tired to share it all (and I'll let TJ tell the details -- I've sent the pictures to him), I was very pleased. We left just before noon (my partner and I were pretty tired!), and there were at least 30 protesters there by then. The police were very respectfuly and cooperative, and we had a lot of support from passers by.

The best part of the morning, for me, was walking toward the church, after I had parked the car. I looked up in the cold morning sky, and there was a rainbow, almost directly over the church (which is a monstrously huge megachurch). I found that prophetic, and felt a blessing from God regarding our efforts upon seeing that rainbow.

Having been dubiously termed a "rainbow warrior" (a term which I "claimed" for myself in a post a while back) by a blog stalker a few months ago, I felt the rainbow was put there especially for us this morning, as a sign of God's love and peace.

More to come, and hopefully TJ will chime in soon when he has sufficiently recovered from a very early morning and long, productive day!

Blessings, y'all...

Susan

100_1619.jpg

[criselkins]

Your statement was brilliant, Rev. McGiffert, and so in the spirit of nonviolence. Wish I could have been there, too! Thanks for showing what our Soulforce local groups can do.
Cris Elkins

[Zerbie]

The rainbow sighting sounds beautiful!!!

Sounds like a sign, indeed.

Looking forward to more details on how today went.

[hoads]

My mother attended the Love Won Out conference today in Woodstock and told me about your protest. I think you are doing yourselves a disservice to target a group of people who are seeking information and fellowship on how to deal with homosexuality. My sister is gay and this issue has ripped my family apart. My Mom and sister have been mostly estranged for three years and this was my Mom's first attempt to seek guidance and information in a public forum. This was a huge step for her and in fact, she ran into an acquaintance who she was unaware was also dealing with a gay child and so now she does not have to feel that she and my Dad are alone in dealing with this turmoil. The message of Love Won Out is one that encompasses a wide range of information sources and the "ex-gay" theme is just one. These people are in pain and at a loss as to how to even have a conversation with their gay child or loved one. Love One Out opens the door of possibilities for these family members and addresses the issue of how to have a relationship with a loved one that is respectful and loving and yet does not compromise their Christian faith. Their primary focus is how to love their homosexual family member without condoning their lifestyle. It is very difficult for Christians to profess a family member is gay and so their support network is small and disjointed unlike the gay person who has access to a huge community support network with which to take refuge. Christians need to be allowed to develop their own support network that in the end will benefit all. Protest those who spew hate under the guise of Bible verses--not those seeking support from one another.

[Zerbie]

Oh Hoads, I'm sorry your mother was upset by the protest! I wasn't there or in any way involved in the protest, so I can't speak to what actually transpired, but I do know that Soulforcers do not have a goal of targeting or protesting innocent people like your mother who are caught in the middle of a very sad situation. We know that. Some of us have family members who have been there.

The protest, as I understand it, was directed at the leadership of the ex-gay conference because a significant amount of the "information" they are sharing has been found to be misleading and harmful, if not outright untrue (while also being used as a basis to deny equal protection under the law for those gay people who accept their sexuality.)

Your mother has a right to know if she is being given deliberate fabrications in the guise of facts.

I know gay people who were rejected by their families for being gay - as in, thrown out of the family home when only teenagers. My heart goes out to their parents who thought for all the world that they *had* to reject their child in that way and who honestly believed they were being "strong" and somehow, doing a good thing, morally and spiritually. It breaks to imagine parents telling their child "you are not acceptable the way you are" and truly believing they are doing something right and good. It is so sad to see families refuse to have contact with a gay child for decades, and to see that child grow up without them, survive, flourish, turn into a productive, accomplished, caring, exemplary human being - and their parents don't get to see what they have thrown away. Now I'm not saying your mom has done that, or would, but all too many parents do. There was a recently published statistic counting over a thousand homeless gay teens in my immediate area.

I understand that your mom is caught in a middle between two competing "sides." I know this is tremendously difficult and the politics involved only add to the challenge. There *are* other resources. She could get in touch with PFLAG and ask to speak privately to a Christian parent of a gay child who has been down a similar road before.

[kara speltz]

Originally Posted by hoads

My mother attended the Love Won Out conference today in Woodstock and told me about your protest. I think you are doing yourselves a disservice to target a group of people who are seeking information and fellowship on how to deal with homosexuality. Christians need to be allowed to develop their own support network that in the end will benefit all. Protest those who spew hate under the guise of Bible verses--not those seeking support from one another.

Dear Friend: It appears you really don't know much about Dobson and the lies that have been consistently spread about gay people. I would like to invite you to spend some time reading about Dobson's claims about gays and lesbians; just look under anti-GLBT Watch on our website, and click on to ex-gay ministries. Also check out the last two actions at Focus on the Family, in May, 2005 and July 2006. You'll learn a lot about those lies.

Would you advocate for the KKK to be allowed to spread their lies about blacks and Jews? Or would you take a stand against their lies? Love Won Out is much more than finding support, its about spreading ongoing continued lies about the experience of LGBTs. If your mom needs support in accepting your sister, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays will be there. But all that Love Won Out will teach her is how not to accept her daughter, as long as her daughter remains true to herself and to how God created her.

When we remain silent to people's lies we not only abdicate our responsibility, but our very silence suggests a willingness to collude with those who hate us.

Kara

[revtj]

Friends, I am exhausted. Had a board meeting today but spent the rest of the day catnapping & re-hydrating. I will respond and post pics later this week.

Meanwhile, thanks for your support & prayers. The vigil & protest was more than I could have ever dreamed. Even the controversy we caused is sacred to me. I got a private email from a gay young man here in Atlanta thanking us for being there because his mom went to the event. That sort of thing happened all over Saturday.

Peace

[Daniel]

Does my heart good to hear about this. Wish I could have been there.
If half of life is 'showing up', you guys did more than that: you made a difference.

Tutti Bravi!

[suzer1013]

I posted this on the "Love Won Out Conference" thread, but since most responses seem to be here, I thought I'd cross post it here. This was my response to Hoad's post yesterday:


Hi Hoads. Glad you posted your comment.

Let me be clear: we are not "targeting" the people who attend these events. Our concern is the lies and misinformation spread during these events. "Reparative therapy" is dangerous. It can cause great psychological harm.

If your mother or anyone else would like to reconcile their Christianity with their gay child, friend, etc., I would recommend they try a couple of other resources than ex-gay conventions. The theme of these conventions is not reconciliation -- it is trying to change orientation (which in my opinion is nearly or completely impossible). These conventions and "therapies" always come from an opinion of GLBT people being "sinners" because of who they love. I'm sorry your mother and others have been duped into attending these types of events under the guise of "love."

There are two groups that might be more helpful. One, I found this weekend, run by some parents of a gay son. Their website is:

www.familyacceptance.com

The other is PFLAG, and you can google them to find a chapter in your area. These groups deal with facts, not lies, and I think would be a much healthier place -- factually and spiritually -- for seekers to go.

Finally, I'm not sure where you got the information that GLBT people have such a wealth of resources at their disposal. It's not easy for many GLBT people to find a welcoming, supportive place, especially in the Christian community. Believe me, these ex-gay conventions are not about accepting GLBT persons as they are. FOF touts, at best, that GLBT people are sinners who should at least remain celibate or, at worst, go through years of "conversion" therapy to try and live a lie. Lives are destroyed by this.

The good people, like your mother, who are being duped by these lies are not what we protest. We protest the lies and misinformation being put forth by FOF. Our goal was a peaceful, loving protest, and that is what we accomplished. There were other groups there in addition to Soulforce who were a bit noisier, but also remained peaceful in nature. We must stand as a witness against the lies that were being told in that convention, and I, for one, am glad I was there to be a symbol of Christ's love and stand up for what is right.

Blessings to you. I hope your mother will be able to find more positive and loving resources in which to reconcile her beliefs. I'm sorry that your family is in such pain about this. I hope that places like PFLAG could be a more positive place for your family to learn and understand your sister's orientation, and hopefully mend the wounds that have been created by the untruths taught by groups like FOF.

Susan

[suzer1013]

There were a couple more things I wanted to make note of, as I've been thinking more about this conference and our response to it.

First, people like Hoads' mother and the other straight attendees of the conference are just as much victims of FOF's misinformation as are the GLBT people that are targeted by the lies and untruth. I feel so badly for people against whom spiritual violence is being used to the point that they don't feel they can fully love or accept their own children or family members. It is very sad.

Another note about resources that are available to GLBT people versus resources of groups like FOF: according to a local news report, the conference attendance was about 1000 people. (I doubt that, as I saw the reports and saw the cars parked in the lot, but let's just say they are correct.) The news also said attendees paid $60 apiece to attend. That would be $60,000 raised from admission fees alone! Add to that what was probably raised from offerings inside, book sales, etc., and I'm sure FOF and the Woodstock Baptist Church made quite a hefty sum on the backs of GLBT people and their misinformed desperate family members who are seeking a way to continue loving their children while holding fast to a Christianity they have always been told was "right."

Our budget, by contrast, was $0. I spent my own money to make copies, and we had poster board and markers to make signs, which was paid for by another private individual. I don't know what the other groups who were there protesting had for a budget, but I am quite sure it was little to nothing. Most of us are out there, standing up for Truth, on our own dime.

Just my thoughts....

Susan

[marutidas]

Namaste, hoads,

I am sorry to hear that this is causing you trouble, but this misinformation destroyies families, I know this sounds like alot, but what if you to simply say to your sister, "I may not approve of this way of life, but I love you and I trust you enough to stand beside you while you figure it out."

Maybe not those exact words. I all I am saying is that she is still your sister and that will never change, this is just a part of her and it would be great to except her as a whole person instead of shutting her out of you life or trying to "cure" her.

Here is a link to www.pflag.org
I hope it helps.
With closed palms, I bow to the divinity within you.
---Marutidas

[revtj]

Wayne Besen quoted Bill Maher several times last weekend, "You have a right to your own opinion but you do not have a right to your own facts."

Love Won Out is so confused about the facts. One woman interviewed at their conference said her son was killed trying to get out of a homosexual relationship. That was her "proof" of how awful & sinful the gay lifestyle is...but the fact is, she is not talking about homosexuality, but domestic violence, which is a tragedy that affects heterosexual lifestyles also. See the apples to oranges logic?

May I repeat my appeal to Jesus' question, please?

Jesus asked, “Who among you, when your child asks for bread, would give them a stone?”

We are here to testify that many of us tried to eat the confused facts stone we were given by anti-gay religionists, and only after great struggle and confusion, we found instead the Bread of Life, the Logos, the Divine logic ordained by God and pursued by westerners since the early questioning of the Greek philosophers to the rise of science and medicine following the Enlightenment, and we have tasted and we have seen, that the truth is good. We may not be visible to people who aren’t looking to find us, but we are happy, well-adjusted and gay, many of us strong people of faith, and we will not be silent while lies destroy people’s spirits and their lives.

We must turn the stones NARTH is giving our children and our families into the bread of truth by witnessing to the truth and by exposing the stone for exactly what it is: dead dogma, insufficient to support life and perpetuate love.

[kara speltz]

Originally Posted by revtj

Wayne Besen quoted Bill Maher several times last weekend, "You have a right to your own opinion but you do not have a right to your own facts."

Love Won Out is so confused about the facts. One woman interviewed at their conference said her son was killed trying to get out of a homosexual relationship. That was her "proof" of how awful & sinful the gay lifestyle is...but the fact is, she is not talking about homosexuality, but domestic violence, which is a tragedy that affects heterosexual lifestyles also. See the apples to oranges logic?

May I repeat my appeal to Jesus' question, please?

Jesus asked, “Who among you, when your child asks for bread, would give them a stone?”

We are here to testify that many of us tried to eat the confused facts stone we were given by anti-gay religionists, and only after great struggle and confusion, we found instead the Bread of Life, the Logos, the Divine logic ordained by God and pursued by westerners since the early questioning of the Greek philosophers to the rise of science and medicine following the Enlightenment, and we have tasted and we have seen, that the truth is good. We may not be visible to people who aren’t looking to find us, but we are happy, well-adjusted and gay, many of us strong people of faith, and we will not be silent while lies destroy people’s spirits and their lives.

We must turn the stones NARTH is giving our children and our families into the bread of truth by witnessing to the truth and by exposing the stone for exactly what it is: dead dogma, insufficient to support life and perpetuate love.

Not a lot to add to your wonderful statement, except AMEN!

Kara

[revtj]

This photo was taken by fellow Soulforcer Suzer1013...I think it speaks volumes!