Getting older

[ladyinred]

I just turned 46 and other than needing to overcome some bad habits like smoking, I'm still in pretty good shape physically... but have been losing weight. Got down from 255 to 210.. Need to work out more. The thing is I tend to be somewhat vain.LOL I look in the mirror and do not like the fact that I am aging though somewhat gracefully. My grey hair doesn't bother me as much, I have grey streaks ,so I guess I see them as highlights. Don't have the wrinkles or anything, but I definitely don't look in the mirror deluding myself that I look twenty-five anymore... But I am not so photogenic, for some reason when I take pictures, it's like "Ewwwwwwww, that one sucks..." My ex talked me into contact lenses , I haven't worn them lately , had bifocals but couldn't see worth a toot out of them.... So what do you do with this age thing? I don't wear alot of makeup, but have a lipstick fetish, I think I look naked without it... But I like that the younger generations have alot enthuisiasm and energy.. Sometimes I feel like I am in inertia and somewhat of the "couch potato.." I'd certainly like that energy they have.. But getting to the point of maturity , I think I've grown alot. I tend to be more open-minded. I tend interact with others on a more positive level and even joke and kid alot.. My oldest brother thinks I should become a writer.. But I'm not what you call a skillful writer by any means and there are alot of people who can express themselves more eloquently than me... Of course I've had no college when it comes to writing, so it just come naturally to me... I guess at this point of my life I'm looking for a little more adventure...hmmmm maybe I'll join the peace corps...LOL I've lived in another culture and would like to see more overseas.... Also would love to go back to Alaska and visit,lived there when I was a kid... We had our fun building snow forts, and igloos and had snowball fights and would ride down the hills on our tobagans. I also ice skated... Alaska is beautiful though coooooold... those are the childhood memories I have and also of Korea, visiting Buddhist monastaries, hiking up mountain trails ,visiting different parts of the country and even the DMZ. Even though my dad was military ,I'd have to say the schools we went to there were liberal. I learned about music ,the arts, journalism, philosophy,among other things and was exposed to "radical ideas." I even learned from these schools that bigotry was wrong... , we all had to co-exist together ,black, white,korean and other nationalities, so the schools were not like what I see here in predominately white neighborhoods. One of my friends who was black, came from a highly educated and gifted family....super smart. Her brother was a genious and played the violin. Her dad headed AFKN.My mother had many korean friends as well...So can't say I had a boring life.... but hopefully it'll get more interesting as time goes by... Growing older may not be so bad after all.

[ladyinred]

I will say as a young child living in America still, I was aggrieved by what I saw as racist attitudes among people when I lived in a small town in Oklahoma. I prayed I would leave.... Perhaps that was part of my spiritual journey as well.. to get beyond those narrow confines and learn something about the world abroad.... and other people.