Gay Men and Pedophilia

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by BrianB

I'm not sure this is the correct thread to share this but here goes. I was in counseling for anxiety and depression and was becoming comfortable sharing with this counselor. It had been going through my mind for some time that maybe I could share my attraction for men with him so I finally did it. He tried to reassure me that it was okay. Do you want to know how he did this? He told me that he had worked for years with sex offenders and nothing I could say would shock him. I asked for a different counselor after that session. That was very hurtful that the first thing he thought of was sex offenders.

Good for you Brian!

I'm glad to hear that are seeing help. I'm in counseling at the moment myself, and have found it very very helpful. It can take a few tries to find the right person to talk too. Not all therapists are alike- that's for sure.

Love will find a way.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by ladyinred

Not one thing did he say was postive, it was totally negative.. It painted a totally negative picture of GLBT people in general. I might understand a study of detructive tendacies or negative or antisocial behavior, but that could hardly be confined to the GLBT population..

James Dobson does exactly the same thing on his website. He lists all the reasons why homosexuality is a problem and uses the self-destructive behaviors of gay men as proof. Nowhere on his website
( that I found ) does he mention the evidence that many gay people live happy, satisfying lives. Several studies have backed up this fact.

But it's also a fact that there are many gay men who induldge in self-destructive behaviors. Meth use is on the rise among young gay men in some major cities which also leads to a rise in HIV transmission. Many use drugs as a way to escape a lifetime of self-hatred and guilt.

But I believe these are behaviors that can be changed through education, addiction counceling, and a greater effort to building self-esteem among young people of in our community.

Dobson and NARTH see the sexual orientation of gay men as the problem. They think curing homosexuality is the answer. But evidence has found that trying to change the sexual orientation of homosexuals creates even bigger problems like depression and thoughts of suicide. Whereas building self-esteem shows positive results toward stopping self-destructive behaviors and living a happier life.

And as ladyinred has pointed out, self-destructive bahavioral problems are hardly confined to LGBT people. Millions of Americans suffer from addictions and destructive lifestyles.

Some leaders of the African American community are begining to address what they see as growing self-destructive behaviors among African America youth. Maybe we need to focus a little more attention on problems in the LGBT community as well.

I believe it boils down to values. If people practice the values of honesty, caring, character, tolerance, hard work, diversity, love, equality, and integrity, they'll learn to have greater self-respect and respect for others. And with greater self-respect a person is less likely to induldge in self-destructive behaviors.

It's not always easy. Lots of folks have a lot of baggage from past hurts that need to be worked through. But I believe that a low self-esteem is at the root of the self-destructive behaviors that cause so many of America's problems.

I'm not a psychologists. I'm just an average guy. But several years ago an incident of road rage forced me to take a hard look at myself. And what I found was a damaged self-esteem. It hasn't been easy, but building my self-esteem has definitely made me a happier, more productive person and much nicer person behind the wheel.

Rick

[BrentRichards]

Originally Posted by BrianB

I'm not sure this is the correct thread to share this but here goes. I was in counseling for anxiety and depression and was becoming comfortable sharing with this counselor. It had been going through my mind for some time that maybe I could share my attraction for men with him so I finally did it. He tried to reassure me that it was okay. Do you want to know how he did this? He told me that he had worked for years with sex offenders and nothing I could say would shock him. I asked for a different counselor after that session. That was very hurtful that the first thing he thought of was sex offenders.

You were absolutely right to ask for a transfer to a different counselor. As a trained therapist myself, I find it completely outrageous that he would make that statement. It is at best a careless and stupid reply, but I'd call it outright unprofessional, and it could even be interpreted as unethical. I'd be looking for his supervisor!

[BrianB]

Originally Posted by BrentRichards

You were absolutely right to ask for a transfer to a different counselor. As a trained therapist myself, I find it completely outrageous that he would make that statement. It is at best a careless and stupid reply, but I'd call it outright unprofessional, and it could even be interpreted as unethical. I'd be looking for his supervisor!

I didn't quite tell the whole story. First, this incident happened over ten year ago. I'm not in counseling any more. Secondly, I kind of yanked my therapist chain to get a reaction. After telling him I'm attracted to men I also told him that he was very nice looking. He looked like Mark McGwire, the baseball player. I think he was embarrassed. That doesn't excuse his being unprofessional but I wasn't completely innocent either. BTW, the counseling center switched me to an openly lesbian counselor.

[Alecto]

Originally Posted by andrewlittle

Hey, I just thought of something.

I believe that there may be a link between pedophilia and homophobia.

Can someone help me manipulate - opps, mutilate - crappe, analyze - that's the word I was looking for - analyze the statistics to prove my point?

Skills required: Great imagination, very little ability in math or science (none is better), a total lack of scruples, and a passionate desire to recreate reality into something that resembles the picture inside my head. Damn it, I said my head - not yours.

Of course, angelic looks that disguise your demonic intentions are also a plus.

Next project - creating a marketing or brain-washing program to prove that ex-homophobe therapy really does work. The working title is "Unpucker with Jesus". I was considering using a similar word with an "e" instead of "u", but I thought that might be questionable and possibly a little vague. Another option is Repudiative Therapy but, since I'm going to be making everything else up out of thin air, I'd best not do that with a word for the title.

In required skills, you left out the ability to play with definitions.

[BrentRichards]

Originally Posted by BrianB

I didn't quite tell the whole story. First, this incident happened over ten year ago. I'm not in counseling any more. Secondly, I kind of yanked my therapist chain to get a reaction. After telling him I'm attracted to men I also told him that he was very nice looking. He looked like Mark McGwire, the baseball player. I think he was embarrassed. That doesn't excuse his being unprofessional but I wasn't completely innocent either. BTW, the counseling center switched me to an openly lesbian counselor.

Well, glad its not a raw wound, anyway! I have often said to clients "don't worry, you can't shock me..." That's good for clients to know. But the association to sex offenders was way out there. Cheers.

[sjbouza]

I really thought about this issue after reading the articles that have been posted here. After some thought I have come to the conclusion that they seem to be confusing sexual orientation with sexual preference. At least I see them as different things.

Child abusers prefer sex with children as to sex with adults. They can carry on, as a great number have done, "normal" adult relationships, but have urges to have sex with children. Many child sex abusers are pillars of their communities, with families and good jobs. I dont remember where I have read it, but some studies indicate that most child sex abuse occurs within the family more times than not. That is to say a father/mother/aunt/uncle/cousin etc will molest a relative.

As far as the "studies" go, I mean really. I have been watching the documentary "To Catch A Predator" by Dateline NBC. They along with others go into online chat rooms posing as 13 or 14 year old boys and girls. Older guys start talking to them and start to go nuts sending explicit videos, pics and language. They eventually set up a meeting for the guy to meet the "kid" for sex. They guys show up at the house and Stone Phillips is there and interviews them and has the chat logs of all the conversations and pics. As they leave they are arrested by the local police department. I have seen pretty much all the episodes of these shows, I believe there are like 5 to 7 of them.

First, it truly amazes me how stupid these guys are to begin with. Some of them even mention in the chats having seen other episodes of the show. But they set up the meeting and come anyway.

Second, if one was to draw any conclusions as to a "study" form the people caught by this show it would have to be that about 85% to 90% of the child molesters are heterosexual males wanting to have sex with underage females. Out of the 100+ men there has only been two or three men that have set up to come see a young boy.

What can be derived from any study is far from concrete anyway. There are so many factors that must be taken into account when any study is done. Peer reviewed studies are the only valid ones that I think should ever be used when speaking on any subject. As far as Cameron and all his studies, I am just in awe that anyone would associate their names with his. I can come up with some BS study that concludes something about whatever and have it published in that psych rag that he uses. I mean it is only about $13 a page to get what you want in there.

I found it funny that he states that something like 33% of all homosexuals eat feces. Well, I have some news for him and really everyone. I guarantee that 100% of all humans ingest feces everyday. I see the look on your face right now. Yup you do, every time you brush your teeth, you are ingesting a small amount a feces. There was an episode of Mythbusters that did an experiment on this subject. They had several toothbrushes in the commonly used bathroom as well as a control toothbrush that was no where near the bathroom. They had them there for 30 days and used one as a daily use toothbrush. They would wash their hands well before they used the toothbrush to avoid any possible contamination by touch. They were all sent out to an independent lab and each and every one came back positive for fecal matter bacteria. Even the control toothbrush that wasnt even kept in the bathroom. So guess what everyone, sorry to gross you out, but even you heteros ingest poop. Just some food for thought, ewwww, sorry bad joke...lol

[Alecto]

I thought in one of my psych classes, they said that there are in fact some people who cannot have a satisfying sexual relationship with adults. Human sexuality is complex, and I'm sure there's overlap, but the point is it doesn't matter. Gay sex, unless it's rape, doesn't have a victim. Children can't make responsible decisions about what they're going to wear to school sometimes, much less anything involving their sexuality (if they're even old enough to have one). And that's the difference.

[pnggrad79]

Most of you know I teach 6th grade and one day last week this little girl was waiting for her bus to be called and she was talking to one of her friends and I was checking my email, when I heard her say, "So yeah, me and my mom were in the restroom the other day at the mall, and like this pervert woman looked in both our stalls and I told her to 'Get the hell away from our stalls you pervert lesbian." Now, my kids don't know I am a lesbian, but I popped up and said to her, "Amanda, did you ask this woman if she was a lesbian?" Amanda, deer in the headlights look, said, "Uh, no, but she was looking in our stalls!" I said, "Well, just because she was looking in your stalls does NOT make this woman a lesbian nor does it mean that lesbians go around looking in occupied stalls in restrooms. She probably wasn't sure if anyone was in the stall so she peaked in and if she didn't stare at you, you had no right in saying that to her." I am so bloody tired of the general public thinking that all homosexuals are deviant sexual perverts who get their jollies from leering at people. I hope I didn't give myself away but it just lit me up. If I do nothing else in this life, it will be to help dispel the myth that all homosexuals are perverts, which they are not.

[Zerbie]

I'm just wigged out about the dammmmed toothbrush.

Maybe I'll stop brushing.