Gay Activists Need Nonviolence

[Joe Brummer]

For all the comparisons that could be made about gay rights and the civil rights fights of the 50s and 60s, one major factor is missing. NONVIOLENCE! Martin Luther King, Jr., C.O.R.E, the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and others were at the forefront of the fight and all of them preached nonviolence as the method of choice. It was a choice as they chose peace. It was understood that more hate would not stop hate.

Gay rights activists today could get peace with Church folks if they made the choice for nonviolence, civil disobedience and peace but instead many have chosen violence which anti-gay religious groups will use against us to show that “gays are violent”. Everyone looses when violence is used. How I could get this message around the USA to every homo out there so they choose nonviolence, learn nonviolence, and protest in nonviolent ways? Someone please tell me.

Sadly, this counter protest in Mass. was a perfect example. Pro-gay marriage groups yelled at church protesters, called them names, and disrupted their rally. So now the anti-gay marriage folks went home disliking and hating gays even more. Please show me how this is going to change anything for gays. Groups like Mass Equality are not helping the struggle for rights when they make people hate us more. The goal should always be to bring the truth in love, not more hate.

from the article:

About 100 members of MassEquality shouting “Bigots go home” faced off with the anti-marriage demonstrators.

If Mass Equality had counter protested in silence, handing out stories of gay couples and the need for gay marriage they could have educated our opponents and perhaps changed some minds through education and love. Instead those people left hating gays even more. Those anti-gay protesters are now more threatened by gays than before the protest. Everyone lost in this event. In violence, everyone loses.

If they had chosen nonviolence, this all would be different. There are 100 more reasons to choose peace for every one reason to use violence. (no matter what they shout at you, no matter what they say about you, there is no reason to call them names)

MassEquality said it will counter future anti-gay rallies with a similar show of force.

Here is the scary part of this article, they plan to do this again, so rather than anti-gay people just hating us, and believing we are out to destroy marriage, they will think we are violent too! MassEquality is not helping us, they are hurting us this this type of protest. They should try peace, try nonviolence, they should hand out educational papers to opposing protesters. They should bring the anti-gay people coffee, offer to sit with them and talk, learn from each other instead of calling people “bigots”. If you want change, you must be the change. If you want people to stop calling you evil things, then you need to do the same. You want respect, you must show respect.

“The aftermath of violence is bitterness. The aftermath of nonviolence is the Beloved Community”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

taken from here........
http://joebrummer.com/WordPress/?p=495

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Joe Brummer

How I could get this message around the USA to every homo out there so they choose nonviolence, learn nonviolence, and protest in nonviolent ways? Someone please tell me.

Find a way to get MassEquality's email/address mailing list. And other mailing lists. Impossible? I don't know. But they exist and so does your goal. It can happen somehow. Who do you know who knows....?

[tpdncr4christ]

Establish a nonviolent group. That's how. PFLAG was started by someone who thought, well, I want a support group for GLBT's. Start a group that preaches nonviolence. Start a group whose message isn't shoving gay-rights down people's throats, but instead asking for equal rights, regardless of sexual preference. Start a group that shows its members are people. Not gays, or lesbians or blacks or white, just people.

You might also consider coining a new name for people with same sex attractions. Rather than using the word gay, maybe if we called ourselves something else. The word gay has such a negative connotation these days, people use it in the phrase "that's so gay." If we disasociated ourselves with this term mayber that would help.

The best way to build a brick house is one brick at a time. Start small. With prayer God will help your group grow, people will learn about it, and sooner than you think you will have a movement. One that might be more successful than any so far.

And if you want any help... you know where to ask.

[Steven E. Webster]

Friends,

Sorry, this is a quick response after a very quick read through--forgive me if I am missing something.

A comparison is made with the African American Civil Rights movement. As folks like the Rev. James Lawson has pointed out, the spirit of nonviolence was in large part a legacy from the faith traditions of African Americans--the black church in particular. Gay people have been cut off from that spiritual tradition by Christian homophobia. Gay people have difficult independent struggles to reclaim a spiritual identity. Soulforce is one small spiritual community-coming-to-be in the spiritual vacuum caused by the forced exile of LGBT persons from the faith communities of their birth. We have a really really big job to accomplish.

Nonviolence does not come to people naturally. It is a product of education and en-culturation. The process of education and en-culturation requires established institutions that LGBT people are still struggling to create.

I'm sorry to hear about the violent episode that Joe reports in Massachusettes. Here in Madison a few years back I saw Christian Right Wingers almost succede in provoking a riot amongst LGBT persons and their supporters. We really have alot of work to do!

I have to confess, I need to do that work in my own spirit too! Soulforce has taught me alot--I still need to learn more.

Steven Webster

[Zerbie]

Took 2 seconds to find their website via google search.
www.massequality.org

You can sign up for email updates. And another counter-demonstration is listed on the events schedule for Sat the 16th. Joe, perhaps you'd like to contact them directly? There's even a phone # on the website.

[suzer1013]

I agree that GLBT activists need to embrace nonviolence, and I also think Steven's point is an excellent one.

At the action we held at the ex-gay conference in Woodstock a month ago, I wanted to be sure that I followed principles of nonviolence. The sign I held was a rainbow fish, and we sang hymns of love and peace and we prayed.

However, we had no control over other groups that came, and some groups (in my opinion) presented a message that was counter to what we were trying to accomplish. While I appreciated the presence of all groups at the protest, I simply couldn't stay when people started yelling "Christian fascists have to go!" That was my cue to leave. There was also a small group of people holding signs that focused on gay sex -- which ended up supporting the "gays want to shove gay sex in our faces" opinion that many CC's already feel.

I wish we could all be of one mind supporting nonviolence to achieve GLBT equality. We of course have no control over what other groups choose to do. The key might be continuing work to attract people to Soulforce, increasing our numbers and, thereby, our influence for nonviolent methods of social change.

One problem we encountered at Woodstock, I think, was the misperception that Soulforce is a "Christian" group. There is such anger within the GLBT community, so many who have been hurt by their church and religion in general, that there was some wariness even of Soulforce! So many GLBT people not only don't embrace religion or spirituality any more -- they actively oppose it because of the pain and fear it has wrought in their lives. Who hasn't, at some point, lashed out against that which has hurt them the most? Many GLBT folks I know resent Christianity so much, that I'm afraid any mention of the spiritual or religious sends them running.

Susan

[BronzDragon]

Originally Posted by Joe Brummer

Gay rights activists today could get peace with Church folks if they made the choice for nonviolence, civil disobedience and peace but instead many have chosen violence which anti-gay religious groups will use against us to show that “gays are violent”. Everyone looses when violence is used. How I could get this message around the USA to every homo out there so they choose nonviolence, learn nonviolence, and protest in nonviolent ways? Someone please tell me.

» Thom says: ☛I have not heard of a lot of “Violent” protests by Gay activists. Except maybe a few individuals who choose to fight and defend themselves against a drunken mob, I don’t know of any instances where a Gay Activist went out of her, his, or xer way to retaliate against a straight group or organization!? The Riots of the 60's, Compton’s of San Francisco and Stonewall Inn, were spontaneous events that just happen to have people who could shape the events to effect. I would appreciate a list of such news reports, so they can bring me up to date on that.

My knowledge of history is still rather limited in most respects, including Gay Activism. As far as I know, every Gay Activist organization, from Daughters of Bilitis and Mattachine to the Gay Liberation Front and Gay Activists Association. Unless we are to consider a ZAP as a violent action … and I don’t think it is any more violent than a march on Washington, I can think of nothing.

I would honestly appreciate such news. The worst thing that can happen to a group is overwhelming feelings of persecution and isolation. Holding together, and seeing things as true as we can are better.

Addressing your plea: I can speak from personal experience, a thought can give rise to a word or an action, even changes in one’s environment. Until an individual can be sure that they can face a drunken mob or an entrenched politician or minister without so much as fear in their heart (fear can give rise to anger, which can give rise to hate), they should either select their weapon or walk/run away. We who have dedicated ourselves to the nonviolent approach to civil dissent cannot force anyone else to take this path. We can persuade, and help them when they make the choice, but never force them. That could lead to double violence; first to the dissident by us for forcing them into a way they are not ready for; then by themselves for the guilt and shame they have while they fight feelings they don’t really want to fight.

Let us take care with “ought’s” and “should’s” and “must’s” when we are counseling, even our own souls on a matter. Living someone else’s life for them is the surest path to despotism.

Well, that is how I think on this subject.

[novaseeker]

Originally Posted by suzer1013

There is such anger within the GLBT community, so many who have been hurt by their church and religion in general, that there was some wariness even of Soulforce! So many GLBT people not only don't embrace religion or spirituality any more -- they actively oppose it because of the pain and fear it has wrought in their lives. Who hasn't, at some point, lashed out against that which has hurt them the most? Many GLBT folks I know resent Christianity so much, that I'm afraid any mention of the spiritual or religious sends them running.

This is the challenge I think. While the African American community could rally around the charismatic figure of Dr. King, and the genuine and real tradition of black american spirituality, GLBT people don't really have that rallying "center". GLBT people are very diverse, and come at these issues from wildly different perspectives. It's hard to make the rallying "center" spiritual or religious initially, because so many GLBT people are, at this point in time, very hostile to anything spiritual or religious because of the pain that they have suffered at the hands of "religion" in their lives. It's a tragedy of a massive scale, of course, that religions have pushed so many GLBT people away from any spiritual life at all, but it is also a reality that we have to face as GLBT people.

So it seems to me that an initial element is to encourage GLBT people to renew their spiritual lives ... but that's in itself a challenge of its own.

[BronzDragon]

Originally Posted by novaseeker

This is the challenge I think. While the African American community could rally around the charismatic figure of Dr. King, and the genuine and real tradition of black american spirituality, GLBT people don't really have that rallying "center".

» Thom says: ☛ I think the problem lies within history. The African diaspora in America has had over two centuries of practice with having their identity shredded and their communities manipulated, so they have experience and coping mechanics in place. The glbtq as an identity has only emerged over the last century or so. This also leads us to another problem: while both gays and Africans find themselves in ghettoes, one does not see a lot of gay bashing by police and politicians that work within the ghettoes, where Africans often find themselves being pulled over for driving in the wrong neighborhood (even if they live there), or simply for driving while black. So, there are daily events that happen in the African community almost anywhere they live that remind them that Emancipation is still a dream to fight for; where many Queers are still more concerned about whether their hair is right or their shoes will look good with that kilt.

It would take something akin to what led up to the Stonewall riots to get the community together for anything like a “March on Washington.” Politicians are clever, though, and learn from their mistakes. They may still write us off, but they still find a way to make us feel like they want us.

[Huggins293]

[QUOTE=Joe Brummer;16297]For all the comparisons that could be made about gay rights and the civil rights fights of the 50s and 60s, one major factor is missing. NONVIOLENCE! Martin Luther King, Jr., C.O.R.E, the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and others were at the forefront of the fight and all of them preached nonviolence as the method of choice. It was a choice as they chose peace. It was understood that more hate would not stop hate.[quote]

I do understand what you are saying, but do you comprehend how brutally tought it is to be physically and spiritually non-violent when anti-gays often engage in spritual violence. Just look at the comments on CARM(A very strong anti-gay board).

I support you in theory, I have tried your approach in theory. But the temptation to engage in spiritual violence continues to increase when anti-gays refuse to listen to civil expression and consistently use spritual violence. Most of us just snap. I have. I tried to be polite and civil to anti-gays but when they continue with their ruthless and mean methods, I stoop to their level. Obviously this is not right but we are human.

[Joe Brummer]

I am aware of how hard it is, but perhaps you are standing and looking at this from one place. I suggest you stand and look from another angle.

Stand from the place of young black men at a lunch counter with milk poured on their heads, hoping to end the segregation of the lunch counters.....is it still hard to hold back from violence?

Stand from the place of the men in line at the salt factor in India. These men wanted to be free to make their own slat. One by one they approached the salt factory only to be beaten. One by one, they came in nonviolence.......do you still think you are not stron enough to be nonviolence, I think you are.....

Stand from the place of Rosa Parks on the bus...close your eyes and picture this....she has just been told to get up from her seat and said "no", do you think they were not spiritually violent, verbally violent to her? Do you believe they carried her away in silence?.....do you still believe you can't do it....I believe you can, I believe we are all stong enough but maybe not ready.

What can I do to help you get ready?

Gandhi biggest adversary in India became his closest friend. NOnviolence is about seeing the anti-gay folks as people, not things. People, not a movement like they see us. Do not see the anti-gay as an agenda, see them as people, with lives...I do know it is hard, but it has to happen to end the violence.

I have been emailing back and forth with a few people who are vocally anti-gay. One sent me a Christmas Card with a $10 gift certificate. She doesn't agree with me being gay, she thinks I am a sinner, but her ears are open...she respects my beliefs about being gay. SHe is a start to what we need to accomplish with all the anti-gay. I am sure she will still blog about anti-gay things and say horrid things about gays, but now I am in a position to talk with her and hope to end this violence and find peace.

We need peace...and nonviolence is the method that will bring it. I know this with all my soul!

Love,
Joe

[Joe Brummer]

But the temptation to engage in spiritual violence continues to increase when anti-gays refuse to listen to civil expression and consistently use spritual violence. Most of us just snap.

Don't snap....try mindful breathing.....don't respond in anger on websites....walk away from your computer.....breathe....and breathe deep....walk through the house slowly breathing....it is a walking meditiation.

When you are calm, then reply. When you can answer their hate, no matter how strong and know their hate comes from a place of pain and suffering. WHen we see others suffer, we should bring compassion. Compassion will transform them. It may take a few tries to make this happen, but trust me, it will.

Here is what I suggest.....

Take a yellow sticky note and put it on the monitor of your computer. Write on the sticky BREATHE.......It will remind you to breath and plan your words before answering the next anti-gay post. Answer them with compassion because you know that the hate, anger and fear comes from a place of pain and suffering. Comfort them from their pain, but change not who you are.....a gay man. Be stern, but loving. Be compassionate, but honest. Don't use words like "bigot" or "homophobe".

Attack the forces of evil, not the person doing the evil.....(MLK)


Trust me this works.....