Is hate learned?

[Jennifer5]

In your opinion, would you say that you learn hate? or are you born knowing hate? (please include stories when you have them)

[cogito_ergo_sum]

i think hate is learnt. it all depends on the circumstances you grow up in. for example, i know a lady who hates dogs. her husband doesnt, but her son, who's in grade 3, does. and you can just imagine him seeing his mother recoiling at the sight of a dog and thinking, right...

[SolInvictus]

Personally, yes, I believe so...

Having a minor in anthropology, cultural norms & mores are taught by parents/society to children (in general). When these standards are not met, the person or group may be ostracized or worse. For example, deviant behavior (against accepted beliefs) in some parts of Africa is considered a form of "witchcraft," and a priest is called on to exorcise the "evil" by banishment or ostracize the person(s) until he/she/they retract the deviant behavior.

To elaborate furthur, "witches" in these regions are generally women who are on the margins of society and/or had an affair, etc. In order to correct the "problem," an exorcism of the evil is sometimes performed by the local priest or religious specialist within the local community. Banishment/Exile tend to follow if the deviancy isn't corrected.

In regards to LGBT issues, many cultures have had many different viewpoints. Some Native American groups viewed as being blessed by the gods/deity(s) with "two spirits," and thus a honored citizen. If a man had effeminate behavior, he was not punished, but allowed status by means of female impersonination (this can be seen also in modern India).

The ancient Greeks viewed homosexuality, esp. among men, as one of the truest forms of love. Romans only discriminated ag. the passive male lover in the relationship. Domination & power among Roman men was regarded as important in their society, and being a "bottom" was seen as a sign of weakness. Greek myth also provides a beautiful illustration of homosexual origins: in this story, humans were originally two souls/bodies combined by as 2 males, 2 females, or 1 male & 1 female. They were later split in two, an acc. to the myth, we humans are continually in search of our soul mate / the "other half" of us.

Anyway, the point is I do believe hate is a learned behavior. Hate can be based on the culture & its assoc. beliefs. Deviants tend to be viewed as "evil" or subhuman or immoral, which is truly sad. The worst example being the Untouchables in India: they are casteless & basically perform duties that others do not or will not do, such as picking up garbage, etc.

[Zerbie]

Definitely. Yes. No time for that story. But definitely.

[pnggrad79]

Hate is born of sin and that is natural in all of us. Hate is taught by parents and significant others who propagate their fears on us as children. Sad, but true.

[NonLemming]

Originally Posted by pnggrad79

Hate is born of sin and that is natural in all of us. Hate is taught by parents and significant others who propagate their fears on us as children. Sad, but true.

Can I get an "amen"!?

[Vortex]

I believe hate to be a product of fear. It is our own insecurities that aid in harboring hate and consequently passing those fears onto others through socialization. It is our lack of understanding of ourselves and the world around us from which this fear manifests itself.

It is not the fear of accepting the LGBT community that drives their hate, but instead the self-introspection that will inevitably come with it. The very foundation of what they believe to be true and their own faith is what’s at stake.

We must not simply be content with the punishment of those responsible with hate crimes or the changing of laws toward equality for all humanity. It is only through knowledge and understanding that compassion and love can win out over hate, and we must have compassion for those who most need that understanding.


Hate comes not out of a need to confront others, but out of fear of confronting ourselves.

[Zerbie]

Vortex, you have a lot of wisdom. Thank you for what you've shared so far, and welcome to the forums. Yes, I think that without fear we would also be without hate.

[Jennifer5]

then how would you overcome your fears? where does it all start? does it have a beginning or is it all a circle? hate, is because of fear. fear, is in need of love. and love could also solve the hate...

[SolInvictus]

Personally, I see love as the solution: accepting oneself for who he or she is; loving someone & have it returned; supported by friends & others like us;
spiritual support from clergy (depends on denomination or indiv. church); and as Jesus suggested: if someone forces you to go a mile - go two miles.
If you are told carry a bag by someone you dislike, carry it all the way; if you are punched, turn the other cheek... The last one is controversial & can be interpreted variously, but I think the "gist" of it means if you are humiliated - then take action to get your dignity back through nonviolence. For example, say someone tears your shirt - then give it to them & shoes, etc. It stuns people & sometimes become dumbstruck not knowing what to do.

Does this always work? Probably not & hate isn't easy to fight, but it has to be fought somehow. Praying for enemies helps (does personally anyway).
When they insult or humiliate you, don't let them see how it affects you. Be tough & then let out emotions in private. Honestly, I have reacted this way as I have been insulted & humiliated by homophobes. Was it easy? No way, but I got through it.

For example, a coworker several yrs ago that I came out too (a mistake) decided my orientation was a joke & sinful. Thus, one day @ work, she had a picture of the Abu Ghraib scandal (newspaper article) & asked me in front of all the patrons "if it turned me on." Obviously, angered, I said "no, why would I" and then went privately in the employee room to vent my emotions out silently. I still cringe thinking about now, but after success & support, I am happy as I am.

Well, sorry for babbling on...LOL
Anyway, hope this helps & Peace.

[Vortex]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

Vortex, you have a lot of wisdom. Thank you for what you've shared so far, and welcome to the forums. Yes, I think that without fear we would also be without hate.

Thank you, I am happy to be here and I hope to make a lot of new friends. This is a big step for me.

Originally Posted by Jennifer5

then how would you overcome your fears? where does it all start? does it have a beginning or is it all a circle? hate, is because of fear. fear, is in need of love. and love could also solve the hate...

I believe fear can only be overcome through knowledge and understanding. It is only in a state of complete understanding that we can truly have compassion for others. A state of absolute peace within ourselves and peace with the world around us. Where all the boundaries and differences that have for so long separated us no longer exist, and we feel connected and at one with all living things. This is what I call ‘Love’, it is not a word that I use sparingly because I believe very few will truly ever experience this. I hope that I can someday. It is the hope that such a thing exists that keeps me going.


You are correct in your observation of the cyclical nature of fear and hate. The violence and suffering that comes as a result of hate only creates more fear in the individual and those around them. This starts the cycle of hate all over again for a new generation unfortunately. It is important to realize though that ‘Love’ is absent from this cycle, and for good reason. Love ends the cycle and as I explained above it is not an easy thing to get to.

[NathanATX]

Originally Posted by pnggrad79

Hate is born of sin and that is natural in all of us. Hate is taught by parents and significant others who propagate their fears on us as children. Sad, but true.

I hear what you're saying, but I believe in the concept of "original blessing" rather than "original sin."

Hate comes from fear.
Fear of one's own sexuality being questioned.
Fear of one's "salvation" being put in jeapordy.
Fear of people who are different.

Fear compels people to act against whatever they fear. Those actions are the essence of hate.

[Emproph]

(-I was just confronted with that question again the other day. I did a search for “bearing false witness” regarding an unrelated topic and read something interesting that I think exemplifies the page I’ve written best. It said the best pride detector was how offended we are by the pride in others. It’s the biggest pause I’ve taken in a long time. Especially because I consider myself to be a pretty good pride detector, apparently not as good as I thought.

Point being that the question is irrelevant. The solution is the same.
The question frames them the same way they frame us. The framing process is the problem, not the picture. Anyway, here’s the link and what I wrote before if you feel like wading. :-)
http://www.whitestonejournal.com/seven/pride.html )

(This is what I wrote a few days ago)
That’s a Good question, I was just thinking about it in joke form earlier, but you made it sound legitimate like if they were born with it we can’t blame them for molesting the idea of God.
(Wow, I wasn’t expecting to type that.)(a pandora’s box thought Sir thanx a lot)

First I’d have to give up my addiction to anger, do they even have AA meetings like that, and what would I do with all the extra time spent not hating? Yet I know it’s time, CSPAN gets me only so riled these days, it’d be like a perpetual tease buzz without being able to hate those I love to hate the most, what was the question?

How dare me, I honestly want to hate them for hating me, and what I want has nothing to do with them, I am the biggest hypocrite alive specifically because I know better. How dare me indeed? {we aren’t afraid to look at that part of us, that’s what we have to describe. The place of us that’s conquered the fear of acknowledging fear.}

How do you negotiate the 4th step process of THAT recovery group (making amends)?
(with a tearful eye and a southern accent>) “I realize now that it was my fault for not understanding that you’re just a wounded animal on the inside, consumed with avoidin’ the fear of death”

I’m a hypocrite for not realizing that they honestly can’t help it. And it’s all Joe Brummer’s fault. The man just doesn’t hate. I mean, what kind of a universe does someone like that live in? Tenaciously whispering definitive (or divinitive) beauty back to ugliness every time. I think he should come in a bottle, a window cleaner. ‘Keeping the windows of perception clear?’ Authentic Christian Gloss, the cleanser of certitude. Yes that’s it, that’s the one.

I can’t believe I’m a worser hypocrite that the people I save the word worser for.
I’d pretty much apply the same statistics for reparative therapy 'patients' as I would to addicts of dogma, but there is one difference, thoughts are things we actually can change. So I say they’re born with it, with a slight chance of undoing it. But as long as they can think, theoretically they can be shown to think about it. I'll hold my breath....

Anyway, I’m a hypocrite and they can’t help it. And as they’re being tested with “Biblical inerrancy,” wait, If we realize can show them it’s a test, that’s our test.
The only way to show them it is a test is if we show them our recognition of how our test is to show them of their test. Yes, that’s it. One on one logic technology.

So I guess the trick is in communicating the better information of equality without threatening their idea of superiority.

P. S. Something about the freedom of being able to think outside of what is “known” to be true, and then something about dogma... Think outside the cage? -I like that one.

[Tears of A Clown]

It is said we are born a blank slate which starts learning before birth.
Yes to some it is learned. Daily abuse by ohters will teach one to be hate. It also is a conditioning. Usually these people learn to hate some group becuase it takes the place of what hurts that person. Most have low self esteem, been abused, conditioned, to the point they had nothing left inside and have to transfer all that inner hate somewhere so it is set on the target of the victoms of others in their group.
Some do it to fit in.
Some are just born with no loving soul, I have taught kids without a loving soul. Just looking in their eyes is like looking in a black hole. They strike at anyone whom can fall victom. These individuals are lost to the world, they never have a chance.
No, I was brought up in a home where my mom was on the fence as to racial discrimination. She says she isn't but when it get to a certian point where it is too close, then she is. My grandparents were total racial people. My grand mom would not have eaten at our house if she had known someone other than "white" had used it. Then came me. I have no bias on anyone. I have best friends of all races, religions, creeds, and yes lesbian and gay. That is a large leap in 3 generations. Even with the religious upbring I had. Funny thing is I have a mixed race grand daugher. I love her just as I do my other grand daugher. I treat my daughter in law no different than the other one. If my grand parents kenw, it would blow their minds....but just think...in 5 generations it has gone from total hate to a child of mixed races. No hate, just lots of love. So it there is hope for her, there is hope for all of you.
Those who say and do hateful things, just remember, Who's mouth did it fall out of? or who did the hateful thing, Let the hate fall back on them.
Rejoice everyone

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Take a look.....This is Life.....Bring it ON!
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PuP aka Tears of a Clown

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by Tears of A Clown

It is said we are born a blank slate which starts learning before birth.
Yes to some it is learned. Daily abuse by ohters will teach one to be hate. It also is a conditioning. Usually these people learn to hate some group becuase it takes the place of what hurts that person. Most have low self esteem, been abused, conditioned, to the point they had nothing left inside and have to transfer all that inner hate somewhere so it is set on the target of the victoms of others in their group.
Some do it to fit in.
Some are just born with no loving soul, I have taught kids without a loving soul. Just looking in their eyes is like looking in a black hole. They strike at anyone whom can fall victom. These individuals are lost to the world, they never have a chance.

-----------------------------------
Take a look.....This is Life.....Bring it ON!
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PuP aka Tears of a Clown

WOW!!!

What a perspective you have!

Yes, I know what you mean about daily abuse teaching hate. And transferring the rage from the perpetrator to a scapegoat, sometimes one that was deliberately taught to the victim as a scapegoat. And I have seen the black hole in the eyes too, in two people. Only two people, thank god, but when you see it - - you know things you might rather not know, but at least you know there is that degree of coldness in the world.
Forewarned is forearmed, perhaps.

Wow, great post Pup.

[ladyinred]

I'd have to say hate is taught and learned, and people may do it to fit in , because having an unpopular perspective that doesn't fit in with the status quo may bring hostility to that person.Look at how those who are protesting the war in Iraq are treated for example. How about those who believe LGBT people should be treated the same as anyone else. There is alot of resistence to these stances.

[Progo35]

From my experience, hate is both learned and present in everyone at different levels at birth. For instance, some people seem to enjoy hurting others. There is no reason for it, they do not have a history of abuse, they are not mentally ill...they just derive a sick kind of joy from humiliating, abusing, and harming others. In support of this hypothesis, I once asked a peer why she and others were calling me a retard, destroying my stuff, throwing rocks, and worse. She said, "Because it's fun and it's funny, and it's never going to stop!" I'm not exaggerating, those were her words.

When I was young, it was much easier to forgive people and love them, to the point that I felt I posessed almost supernatural compassion for others, despite standing up to what they were doing. Unfortunately, as I've gotten older, constantly doing this has worn on me to the point that I have very intense bouts of anger that are ultimately self-destructive. On the other hand, I've done this because I've experienced that certain people do not respond to compassion-they need a good kick in the pants through the threat of legal action. But, this doesn't have to poison our relationships with God: as another user pointed out, "that isn't me."

[ladyinred]

Progo, I will relate my experiences where I can say I feel hatred is learned. I don't feel homophobia is even inborn but learned ,because of my son's reactions toward me when he was little, he never acted like it bothered him,(he wasn't exposed to anything sexually) he was more curious than anything. He didn't learn to be homophobic til grade school. I am actually shocked at what he has learned at school about God. I don't know all the details of what other kids have told him, but it has been negative, and he will not even talk about God now. I will say what he told me when he was about six when I asked him what he thought of the '"devil". He said ,"Mommy I think the devil is hate". That is pretty insightful for a child who has never stepped inside of a church in his life. This child was brilliant and creative, it is sad to say, but it seems he has lost that childhood wonder and innocence.... welcome to the adult world I guess.

[alakazoom87]

Man has a sinful nature. Hate is sin. Hate comes naturally. Sucks doesn't it?

[u-dog]

1. human beings evolved as hunter/gatherers on the savanahs of Africa
2. Hunter gatherer groups are limited in size to a couple dozen individuals at most by the availability of food within a limited area
3. Competing groups of hunter/gatherers using the same resources represent danger to individuals, groups and group genetic information.
4. Strangeness => fear => anger => hate.

Conclusion: Human beings are hardwired to hate the stranger. To be suspicious of the one who acts strangely, talks strangely, looks strange, dresses strangely, worships strangely.

In a hunter/gatherer economy this largely biological trait selects for survival.

When women began to invent civilization (sorry guys... it was DEFINATELY the ladies idea) and more complex social structures (like towns and cities) were emerging (along with animal husbandry and agriculture) it was less advantageous.

In a global context that includes Nuclear Weapons it is no longer a trait which selects for survival. Quite the opposite.

In short, I don't believe that there is any such thing as racism, nationalism, sexism, heterosexism. There is only the biological imperative called XENOPHOBIA (fear of the outsider) in all of its myriad manifestations.

In theological and spiritual context I believe that ALL RELIGIONS are prone to falling captive to this biological imperitive to hate the other, but are in fact God's way of leading us out of our animal past and into the human/divine future that God intends for us.

dave

Interesting sidelight: In High School English my kids were exposed to a fascinating essay that suggested that several of the ancient Genesis narratives were originally from the pre-historic era during which hunter/gatherers and the new agriculturalist communities were in conflict. It raised up particularly the stories of the Garden of Eden and Cain and Able. I could probably get the info from my kids if anyone is interested.