Who are you?

[scott snedeker]

KimmyD,

I believe each of us must at least partially overcome the fear of the consequences of coming out before doing so.

I believe we each have an emotional escrow imposed upon us by past experience and teaching.

eg.---"you are a worthless sexual deviant because of your attraction to the same sex and have no right to live."

Which is one of the most devaststating examples of psychological child abuse I can imagine----and unfortunately experienced by myself.

If you use your emotional reaction to a hypothetical result of coming out as an indicator, you can roughly measure this escrow.

I have been countering my emotional escow with positive imagery of an adorable gay teenager. I'm doing this by rewriting my adolescence as a diary in which I am elevated for being such a desirable gayboy. People in this diary make comments like "I just knew you were going to blossom into such an irresistable gay young man! I'd really like for you to meet my boy!"
Or my parents saying "your boyfriend seems so nice why don't you ask him to come with us to the Florida keys"

And slowly come to realize that if you can see yourself this way, it will show. Other people are attracted to people who feel good about themsleves and respect them more.

This is a technique of making an emotional journey in preparation to making an action journey. This teaching you can find at Abraham-Hicks.com, a discipline of thought focus.

I use it to reconnect with what I call my Heart of Innocence, The natural primal, sexual, innocence from which our spiritual essence originates

[u-dog]

I have been countering my emotional escow with positive imagery of an adorable gay teenager. I'm doing this by rewriting my adolescence as a diary in which I am elevated for being such a desirable gayboy. People in this diary make comments like "I just knew you were going to blossom into such an irresistable gay young man! I'd really like for you to meet my boy!"
Or my parents saying "your boyfriend seems so nice why don't you ask him to come with us to the Florida keys"

Scott,

This is so interesting to me. I did much the same thing while I was preparing to come out to my wife and close family. In my case it was an online roleplay group where I wrote the part of a teenage boy in the process of coming out. "Will" became very real to me and writing his part felt very much like "rewriting" my own adolescence and allowed me to grow through some stuff and into a fuller appreciation of who I am and have always been. I came to love "Will" intensely and to admire him a lot and was very particular about the sort of scenes I was willing to allow him to be involved in.

My staying in the closet was more about fear of rejection by society than about self-loathing around my sexuality. I never really hated myself, but writing "Will" helped me toward self-acceptance.

dave

[scott snedeker]

u-dog,

I think Will is the real person you are. Maybe it's time to share with those you care about?

[Zerbie]

Scotty and Dave,

I'm glad you guys did that (the re-invented teen diaries.) What a wonderful way to re-discover yourselves and allow the neglected parts to grow up into the person who makes up, well, you.

[kimmyd]

Originally Posted by u-dog

Scott,

This is so interesting to me. I did much the same thing while I was preparing to come out to my wife and close family. In my case it was an online roleplay group where I wrote the part of a teenage boy in the process of coming out. "Will" became very real to me and writing his part felt very much like "rewriting" my own adolescence and allowed me to grow through some stuff and into a fuller appreciation of who I am and have always been. I came to love "Will" intensely and to admire him a lot and was very particular about the sort of scenes I was willing to allow him to be involved in.

My staying in the closet was more about fear of rejection by society than about self-loathing around my sexuality. I never really hated myself, but writing "Will" helped me toward self-acceptance.

dave

Scott S, that's very unique and cool.

[scott snedeker]

Tanks!

I am also interested in some of the ways you improve your self-esteem