Fascinating conversation

[Zerbie]

Hey - some of ya might remember a few months ago I was discouraged by some reactions to my gay pride paraphernalia by a bagger at my grocery store. . . .

Well, today I was waiting on a longish grocery line when I saw him. He started coming towards me so I buried my face in a magazine. He came over to apologize and started saying he was sorry if he offended me, but he feels compelled to act as his church teaches him. He said, "It's really hard for me, and I feel very bad thinking I offend people, because I have a sister who, er, went that way." So he has a lesbian sister! He told me about having a strict upbringing that teaches homosexuality is wrong. I told him a bit about mine, and how I interpret the anti-gay stuff as being a lot like racism was a couple generations ago. Then I asked if he's ever just listened to his sister, and he said he has repeated to her the things his church taught them growing up. I suggested he might want to just ask her to tell him what she is experiencing, and just listen for a while. We got on really amicably, which put me at ease, and obviously it did the same for him. Then we chatted about other, neutral things.

sigh. If that conversation with the grocery store bagger today is a microcosm of the rest of society - we have a huge huge mess on our hands, and it's time we start cleaning it up. Here's a guy who loves his sister, and is experiencing all kinds of conflict between his love for her and everything he learned about right and wrong as a child. So he signed that anti-gay marriage petition months ago. It's really sad. But also, kind of, hopeful.

Anyone have reactions?

[NathanATX]

You were beautiful to him.

I'm proud of you.

[SolInvictus]

To second Nathan, that was great of you Zerbie ((hugs)).

My dad recently discovered my sexual orientation (he's the fundamentalist pastor) & is giving me the "silent treatment." Fortunantly, my mom and sister are supportive even though they "disagree" (they believe its a "choice" to be LGBT & we all know its not, but its difficult to convince them otherwise).

[schoolboi]

sounds divine! literally

you are wonderful

[Zerbie]

Thanks y'all! I don't know what I did that was so great - - -

I felt happy after that conversation because even though we're on opposing sides of this campaign, I believe we both *tried* - and after all, he was the one to approach me and apologize. So he was the one who reached out, not me.

I hope he and his sister are able to get past their differences. It would hurt me to have a close family member endorsing anti-gay ballot initiatives. Haven't spoken to him in any detail about what the amendment would do. I feel like quite the minority voice in our neighborhood. One of the cashiers looked horrified when I told her I support equality for gays and lesbians.

I actually feel nervous there sometimes, and when he started coming towards me today I was really uncomfortable because I didn't know what was going to happen. So can you imagine how pleased I was when he wanted to apologize and mend the hard feelings? If only we could afford time enough for people to all decide our differences don't matter, then we wouldn't have groups getting away with taking away peoples' civil benefits with these cruel amendments.

But as of now, the guy at the grocery store who loves his lesbian sister still supports the anti-gay amendment - I don't know if that's with or without full understanding of how lack of legal recognition impacts couples, but probably without. Most people don't know about that stuff, even as much as "gay marriage" gets talked about in sound bites. Which is also why we're working on an educational campaign here as part of our efforts to oppose the amendment. But I don't know how many people we are reaching, and there are only 7 months left. That's not a long time.

Editing this message to add: Sol, I remember your post about your dad. It only just happened a week or two ago, right? So perhaps in time your dad will either approach you, or be open to you approaching him. Both of you with your hearts in the right place, you'll get there eventually, I'm certain. It may take a long time, but I truly believe that ultimately, we all get to that safe caring place. Big, big hugs to you. ((((((Sol)))))))

[SolInvictus]

((Hugs to Zerbie)) Thanks